Page 94 of Tastes Like Summer

Still, I don’t think the topic can go unaddressed.

“So, do you want to talk about what happened at the beach with that group of girls?”

She’s quiet for a moment before answering. “No. Not really.”

“C’mon, kid. Please?” Silence. “I just want to know you’re okay.”

She shrugs again, and I begin to wonder whether I’m finally entering those dreaded pre-teen and teen years everyone has warned me about. Is this how it’s going to be from now on? Am I going to have to pull teeth to get her to talk to me about the difficult things?

I think back to my teenage years and answer my own question, because if my parents had cared to ask me for a single second what was going on (which they certainly didn’t), I still wouldn’t have told them anything.

“I’m fine. Just… a little sad.”

I nod. “They weren’t nice. Your feelings are valid.”

“It isn’t just that, really. Sure, they weren’t nice. But mostly it just reminded me that—” Her eyes flash wide and she cuts herself off.

“What? Reminded you of what?”

“I… don’t want to say.”

I raise a brow expectantly.

With an overly dramatic sigh and an even more dramatic eye roll, she finally speaks: “It reminded me how much I miss Cami and Emi. And how much fun I had this summer. And those girls not letting me hang out with them… Well, it made me scared that I won’t be able to make friends this year once school starts up next week. Last year was tough.” A sheen of tears covers her eyes, so I get up from my seat and take one next to her. Wrapping my arm around her shoulders, I pull her close into me and press a kiss to the top of her head.

“I’m so sorry things have been so hard on you. Just know you are an amazing kid, and I know you’re going to find your group of friends at this new school. Especially once you join the drama club.”

Rachel smiles—barely. “I know. I have a good feeling. But it still doesn’t take away the fact that I miss my friends. I don’t even know when I’ll see Cami and Emi again.” She looks up at me with tears and heartbreak in her eyes, and it absolutely shatters me. “I didn’t want them to leave. The girls or Diana.”

“I know. This whole thing has been hard on me, too,” I admit, though I probably shouldn’t out loud.

“Why did you guys break up?”

“I—” I swallow once. “We didn’t really break up. We were never really together.”

Rachel shoots me a look that is way beyond her years—a cut the bullshit look that makes her look so much like her mother, it rattles me. As if Jessie had crossed over onto the plane of the living to give me a stern talking to for being an asshole, for letting Diana walk away from me—from us—so easily.

“C’mon, Dad.”

I sigh. “It’s complicated. They live in a completely different state, across the country, kid. It would’ve been… It would’ve been way too much.” I try to give her the less complicated, kid-friendly version of Diana’s motives for ending it, but it’s easier said than done. Especially since I haven’t completely come to terms with it myself.

“Does it also have anything to do with the girls’ dad? Does Diana still love him?”

I smile, my daughter ever so perceptive. “It does have a little to do with their dad, but no, she doesn’t love him. Sometimes, when parents get divorced, things get a little messy. And Diana is currently in a very messy situation.”

She nods pensively. “I feel bad for them. Cami was really sad about everything. She used to tell me how much she missed her dad. How lucky I was to have you. I told her that when Mom died, you took me in and… I think for a minute there she got a little jealous that you chose to be with me after… everything. She mentioned that once her parents separated, she barely ever saw her dad.”

“Yeah.” I’m devastated to hear how upset Cami was. I’ve always known she was more aware of what was going on around her than she let on, but it’s still difficult to hear. “He has his own set of issues.”

“Not everyone can be as cool as you,” she says with a shy smile.

I hug her close to me again. “That’s the second time you’ve said I’m cool.”

“Ugh. Don’t get used to it.”

I chuckle.

“You’ve been sad, too. I can tell.”