Page 86 of Give Me Peace

“I’m the one who practically accosted you without even asking if you wanted to have sex.” Havok looks at me like I’ve lost my mind.

“The answer is always yes. I’ll never not want to have sex with you, pretty girl.” He takes my hand and walks us to the shower. “And I specifically remember telling you that if you want something, you should take it.” Havok pulls us beneath the water before it’s had time to heat up. I screech, scrambling back to avoid the spray, but he holds me tighter. “That’s payback for making me sit in lava.” He smiles down at me, pushing wet strands of hair from my face. God, he’s gorgeous. I love the way our bodies look pressed together, the contrast of his tattoos against my unmarked flesh. It’s still surreal, to have the attention of Havok McKade in a good way. I can’t imagine not knowing him now.

“I love you,” I voice softly, resting my chin on his chest. The grin that splits his face leaves me a little breathless.

“I love you so much, Say. The thoughts I have…” he trails off and shakes his head. “They’d scare you, baby. If you knew how gone I truly was, you’d run for the hills.” I roll my eyes, knowing there’s not a thing he could say that’d make me want to leave him. He turns me, pours my shampoo in his hand, and starts working it through my hair. I press my lips together, sending up a silent thank you to whoever granted me a second chance with this man. After he’s washed my entire body, I take over and treat him to the same exquisite torture.

My eyes are heavy by the time Havok shuts the water off and wraps me in a towel. He doesn’t bother dressing us. Once we’re dry, he carries me to bed and burrows against me, cocooning us beneath my heavy comforter. His lips touch mine, barely making contact as he whispers, “Sleep, pretty girl.”

And I do.

Chapter Forty-One

Krew

I can’t take stop staring at Saylor. She’s perched on Ro’s lap, slurping down a bowl of cereal as he twirls a strand of her long blonde hair around his finger. She spent yesterday with Kade, and if either of them thinks they were discreet, they need to have their hearing checked. Like a true fucking creep, I stood outside her door, listening as he railed her into next week. I know she fucked my brother, too. I’m happy for him. I’m sure he made it sweet and memorable for her.

They both deserved to have their first times be with someone they care about. Unlike me, Kash recoiled at the idea of sharing his body with anyone after having gone through what we did. He needs a connection that goes past physical attraction. It’s no wonder Saylor was the one to evoke that sort of response from him. I’ve never seen my twin more enraptured by anyone than he is by that blue-eyed girl.

Me on the other hand? I fucked the first woman who let me. I was still a kid when I lost my virginity. Hell, my nuts had barely dropped, but that didn’t stop me. She was the first in a long line of many. I’d fuck them and walk, never going back for seconds. I dealt with my trauma the way I saw fit. Sex became an escape I craved. Archie Sellers didn’t exist during the space of time I’d get lost in a warm body. His barbed words evaporated. I was in control, choosing if and when anything happened on my own goddamn terms. But at the end of the day, those women meant nothing.

I’d still have to go home and face the Devil. Spend night after night barely getting four hours of sleep so I could keep an eye on Kash. It stopped working after a while, and all I was left with was a shit ton of self-loathing and the ability to fuck. Well. I dipped my toes in every sexual fantasy I could, trying to chase the high I felt in the beginning, but it never came back. My past has been the sole reason I’ve kept my hands off Tink. The appetite I’ve built isn’t bland by a long shot. I’d never dream of hurting her, but a part of me craves the tears she’ll shed.

I’ve yet to even kiss her, knowing damn well the moment I do it’s going to be a free for all. If I tasted her, I wouldn’t be able to stop at just her mouth. I’d convinced myself to give Saylor time, but the sounds she made yesterday has me rethinking that. Kade didn’t go easy and watching her wince as she sat down earlier made my cock twitch. One day soon my restraint’s going to snap and I’ll break her in the best way possible.

“Why was this in my nightstand?” Loch enters the kitchen, holding up a value-sized pack of condoms. “I swear they aren’t mine, love.” He shoots a slightly panicked looked in Saylor’s direction.

“I stocked up when I went to town on Sunday. You’re welcome.” Kash smirks. “Figured I should replace the one I stole from Kade.” My twin shrugs, tilting his head back to drop some Skittles in his mouth.

Saylor chokes on a bite of Cocoa Puffs, coughing to the point her eyes begin to water. I pat her on the back, fighting to keep my expression neutral. She looks to Kade, the two of them sharing a silent conversation that’s easily deciphered. The silver-haired fuck is about to rage. He takes a deep breath and cracks his neck from side to side.

“You took her virginity with my condom?!” Kade tosses his fork at Kash, pegging him square in the face.

“Fucking ow.” My brother glares, rubbing at the red mark on his forehead. “It’s not like you were using it. The only action you’ve gotten lately is from your own hand. And like the gentleman I am, I made sure to let our girl know that you’re a reformed manwhore and the rubber was from your fuckboy days.”

“Actually, my dick was nice and sated as of yesterday,” Kade retorts, leaning back with his arms crossed, a proud grin quirking his mouth.

What a fucking idiot.

“How about now?” Saylor dumps her glass of ice water in Kade’s lap, drenching the crotch of his gym shorts. “Is your dick still good?” Her eyes are filled with fire as she hands him his ass. It’s quite possibly the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. Kade jolts back so quickly he loses his balance, landing roughly on the hard floor. The air is knocked from his lungs, making me grin at the stupid noise he makes.

“Shiiiiiiiit,” Kade groans. “I deserved that.”

“Yes, you did,” Tink growls adorably, standing to help the asshole to his feet. I’d let him struggle if I were her. “Now you’ll have another bruise, you big butthole.” She grunts, tugging on his outstretched hand. Saylor’s come so fucking far, especially when it comes to prioritizing her own wants and needs, but she’ll always have a softness to her. Her heart’s too big to act maliciously, and even when she’s slightly aggressive, she can’t help but soothe the sting of her words or actions.

“That was Eighth-Grade-Havok. And in case you’re wondering, he’s still an asshole.” Saylor speaks quietly, but the conviction in her words makes pride fill my chest. Kade does a decent job of masking his flinch, but the hit lands hard. The way it was intended to.

“I’m sorry, Say. That was too far.” Her eyes close as she nods. “If it’s any consolation, I’ve got some major shrinkage going on. I could whip it out, like a tit or tat situation. I’d definitely be embarrassed.” Saylor slaps a hand over Kade’s mouth, wisely trapping any remaining stupidity he was preparing to spew. She goes easily when he wraps his arms around her. Tink’s on his lap, making no move to go anywhere, but Kade holds her tightly, like he’s afraid she might run away.

“Since we’re all here, I think we should go ahead and get this out of the way,” Loch starts, pulling out a chair so he can take a seat. “Things have obviously progressed, so I’m going to assume we’re all on board with giving this a go. First and foremost, we need to hash out limits and define what this is.”

“Explain,” Ro demands in that gruff, no-nonsense tone of his.

“Sharing, for one. We need to figure out who is and isn’t okay with what.” Kash’s eyebrows dip as he listens to Loch.

“Uh, I thought that part was settled?” Oh, big brother.

“So fucking innocent.” I ruffle Kash’s hair, grinning as he swats my hand away. “What Loch is trying to say, is are we comfortable with more than one partner at a time? And before any of us comment, that question is pointless until Saylor has given her answer.” I look at Tink, my eyes tracking the blush that spreads from her neck to her cheeks. She looks to the floor, like it might open up and save her. But there’s no rescue on the way. If she’s grown enough to fuck, she can damn well talk about it.