Page 76 of Breakaway

“I still have four weeks, technically, but I’m not sure I can make it that long,” I joke. “Between the two of us, I’m completely over being pregnant. This baby’s treating my bladder like a trampoline, which means I have to pee every few minutes. Sleep is nonexistent, but Briggs did get me a pregnancy pillow that’s helping tremendously so far. I think I’ve formed an attachment to it that borders on unhealthy, though.”

“Are you trying to replace me, Angel?” Briggs comments, striding into the kitchen with that effortless swagger I’ve come to expect. With Hudson on his hip, he looks even more enticing. “I’m not opposed to tossing it out the window and having you sleep on me instead.” He grins devilishly, enjoying the shock that crosses Rita’s face. Hudson reaches for me, his face burrowing against my neck as he snuggles against me. His weight is growing harder to manage for more than a few minutes at a time, but I’m happy to soak up our last few weeks of it just being the two of us.

“Stop it,” I whisper threateningly, feeling my cheeks flush with embarrassment. Briggs only laughs, enjoying watching me squirm.

“I think my buddy is down for the count,” he huffs sadly, expertly changing the subject. I glance down, noting Hudson’s eyes have fallen closed, his breaths having evened out as sleep claims him. I kiss the top of his head and pass him back to Briggs. “I’ll put him in my bed and grab the baby monitor from next door.” I smile in thanks, watching him leave as the eyes of two very curious women fix their sights on me.

“So…four boyfriends, huh?” Mia questions bluntly, wagging her eyebrows. I choke on absolutely nothing, a bit shocked by her forwardness and the fact that it’s the first thing she’s said to me since I’ve walked in.

“I knew it!” Rita shouts, waving a wooden spoon at me. “Dios mío⁠*, Andi. That’s a lot of wiener for one woman!” The kitchen falls silent in the wake of Rita’s blunt assessment, but then Mia bends in half, cackling hysterically at her choice of words. Her laughter triggers my own, and before I know it, I’m clamping my thighs together to keep from having an accident. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I mutter a quick explanation and dash for the closest bathroom. After doing my business and washing my hands, I exit into the hallway, instantly colliding with Col.

“Whoa there.” He steadies me, the feel of his touch against my skin causing me to sway closer. “You okay?” He dips his head lower, his worried green eyes connecting with mine. God, I love him. I love his scruffy beard and his overgrown hair that’s in constant need of a trim. I love how much he cares about others, especially strangers, and how hard he’s working to make Chaplain a better place. I love his determination and how hard he’s fought for Briggs, regardless of how difficult it’s been.

“I just plain love you,” I mutter, unaware I’ve said it out loud until his eyes widen and he stumbles back a step. My lips part, panic taking over and demanding I backtrack, because the horror on Col’s face lets me know it’s not reciprocated. I scurry past him, happy to pretend this interaction never happened. I take a few deep breaths before entering the kitchen, pasting on a smile that conceals the evisceration taking place inside of me. I busy myself with whatever tasks Rita doles out, only stopping when Mia demands I take a break. A timer dings sometime later, and Rita opens the oven to reveal a perfectly golden turkey.

“Um,” I start, wondering why they’ve cooked two. “I thought Roy and Col were on bird duty?”

“That’s just what I let them believe, love,” Rita explains, a mischievous smile on her face. “But after the second year of them scorching a perfectly fine turkey, I decided to start cooking a backup.”

“You genius woman,” Mia praises, smacking a kiss to her cheek. “I can’t decide if I want to be you or Andi when I grow up.” Despite being nearly a decade my senior, Mia has made it known that she envies the budding harem I’ve amassed.

If she only knew how unstable it is, how hard I’m working to keep myself together when I’d like nothing more than to fall apart. The guys have remained outside while we’ve finished the side dishes that needed cooking, but the thought of facing Col makes me nauseous with worry. I can’t believe I said those words, that my body betrayed me and voiced my feelings against my will. As Rita places the food on the dining table and Mia calls for the guys to join us, I realize I’m out of time. I head to Briggs’ room to buy myself a few more seconds, afraid I’m going to burst into tears the moment I’m in Col’s presence. Hudson’s still sound asleep, so I carefully take a seat beside him, toying with the curls at the base of his neck.

“I don’t know what to do,” I voice quietly, speaking my fears into the universe in hopes that an answer will magically appear and solve all my problems. “I love them. All of them. I know how improbable that sounds, but I’ve never been more certain of anything. My heart is still clinging to hope, but I know, deep down, that Col doesn’t want this. That I’ve already lost him. I can’t even blame him. It was an impossible ask to begin with, but I thought, just maybe, the five of us were meant to be.

“That a force greater than us brought us all together, at the exact moment in time when we needed each other the most.” My vision grows blurry as tears fill my eyes. Before I can wipe them away, Briggs enters the bedroom, his lips pressed together in a tight line. He strides towards me, flicking off the baby monitor and making me realize he overheard my pathetic monologue. A sob catches in my throat as he reaches me, dropping to his knees and pulling our foreheads together.

“You’re damn right we’re meant to be, Angel,” he whispers harshly. “Don’t you ever, for a single fucking second, question how right we are. It’s going to work itself out, baby. I promise.” I bite back the tears burning my eyes, knowing we have to go back out there and my crying will be obvious if I give in to the urge.

I lift Hudson’s lax body from the bed, refusing to spend my first Thanksgiving without him in my arms, sleeping or not. When we enter the dining room, Roy and Col are having a heated conversation in the corner, but I avert my attention, focusing on the others and all that I’ve gained during the short time I’ve been granted my freedom. Notably absent from the table is a deep-fried turkey, so it appears that this wasn’t their year after all. As Dayton predicted, Rita requests that we each divulge what we’re thankful for. The guys all mention some iteration of me, Hudson, and the baby, though Col’s is purposely vague. I steel my spine, not allowing my hurt to show. He’s entitled to his feelings, just like I am. When it’s my turn, I glance at everyone present and exhale slowly.

“I’m thankful to have a family for the first time in my twenty-four years of life. I promise to covet what you’ve given me. I’ll never risk it, not for anything,” I state vehemently, my eyes finding Col’s across the table. Briggs stiffens beside me, likely following my train of thought. But I meant every word. I can’t lose any of them, and if the only way to keep them all is to end this before it starts, then that’s what I’ll do. It might kill me emotionally, but I can do it if it means I won’t have to know what it’s like to go through life without Colsen Wilder, even if that means the only thing he’ll ever be to me is a friend.

* My God

41

Colsen

The glare that Briggs levels at me as he storms out of the living room should be alarming, but I’ve been on the receiving end of his wrath far too many times over the past two years to let it bother me. However, the hand that clenches my arm in a death grip and drags me to a quiet corner away from everyone else is slightly worrisome. I’ve barely got my footing when Royce spins to face me, his eyes flinty and jaw set with determination. He’s several inches shorter than my six-foot height, but the tense set of his posture lets me know I won’t be leaving until he’s said what he needs to.

“What’s going on with you and Andi? You were distant from her yesterday afternoon at the construction site, and I haven’t seen the two of you speak once today.”

“What?” I feign ignorance, shuffling my feet nervously. “Nothing is going on. We’re fine.” We’re so far from fine it’s ridiculous, but I have no interest in hashing out my relationship, or lack thereof, with my boss-turned-friend. When Royce raises a knowing brow, I concede and state, “It’s complicated,” hoping it’s enough to get him off my back. He rolls his eyes, doing an excellent impersonation of a teenager, and lets out a scoff.

“Cut the shit, Col. I’m old, not stupid. The four of you are in love with the same woman. Not that complicated,” he deadpans, causing my jaw to drop cartoonishly. His accuracy floors me, but Royce has always been observant, which is why his company has flourished as well as it has.

“What about four men dating a singular woman isn’t complicated to you?” I hiss, glancing around to see if we’re making a spectacle of ourselves. It seems that everyone’s occupied for the time being, but Briggs and Andi are still noticeably absent.

I hate that the first place my mind ventures to is what the two of them are doing right now. Is his mouth busy tasting her delectable body? At this very second, are his fingers deep inside her pussy? I shake my head, hands fisting at my sides as I attempt to banish the images that train of thought conjures. It’s futile, because ever since that day in the bathroom, the sound of her climax is ingrained in my psyche. I hear it in my goddamn sleep, desperate to crawl to her, on my hands and knees, and beg for a taste that I don’t deserve. Not after the way I’ve put space between us, knowing it’s causing her pain but at a loss for a better solution.

“It’s 2025, Col. We aren’t living in the olden days where you’ll be ostracized and cast out of the community. Who gives a flyin’ fuck if your relationship skirts the bounds of normalcy? I don’t. Rita doesn’t. The people who actually matter only care about your happiness. But above even your happiness, I care about Andi’s. What that girl has been through would have grown men rockin’ in a corner, but she’s not just surviving what they did to her; she’s flourishing. I’d be remiss not to admit that a lot of her growth has been aided by the four of you. Anyone with eyes can see how spellbound the lot of you are.” A fond smile graces his lips, but before I can say anything on the matter, he continues speaking.

“You’re my son, Col,” he voices quietly, the emotion behind the statement bleeding through his tone. I suck in a strangled breath, not expecting to hear those words or the effect they’d have on me. “We might not share blood, but I’ve considered you mine since the moment you wandered into my office, in need of a steady job and someone to give a damn. Well, you got both. And everything I have is going to be yours one day.”

“Royce,” I choke out, barely comprehending what he’s saying, the blood whooshing in my ears overpowering everything else.

“Don’t bother trying to talk me out of it. It’s already a done deal.” He smiles proudly, likely enjoying that he’s shocked the hell out of me. “But none of that matters if you don’t have the woman you love by your side.” He glances at Rita, his own longing reflected in the way he watches her. “And for the record, I already consider Hudson and that baby my grandkids. I’d like to be called PopPop. So if you could fix this, I’d greatly appreciate it. I’d hate to have to write you out of the will.” He smirks, smacking me on the back as he walks away, his composure slotting into place and showing no sign of the emotional moment we just shared. I take several deep breaths, steadying my nerves before striding towards the dining table.