Page 61 of Hate You to Love You

‘Lucky. I can never sleep on flights.’

‘Seat uncomfortable?’ I ask.

‘No, it’s not that… But you’re right. Hard to sleep when you’re stuck upright,’ he says, shrugging.

We shuffle awkwardly in the aisle. ‘Try sleeping on the tray table,’ I suggest.

Elliot’s brow furrows. ‘Do you know how many germs are on that thing?’

‘Neck pillow?’

‘Bad for your posture.’

I chuckle. ‘I’m running out of solutions to your problem.’

We’re interrupted by turbulence and the sound of the seatbelt sign being turned back on. I rest my hand against the wall, using it to maintain my balance. While the rattling of the cabin doesn’t faze me, it has the opposite effect on Elliot. He looks up nervously, letting out a loud gasp. Placing both his hands on the wall, he shuts his eyes. I watch as his chest rises and falls with his rapid breathing.

‘Elliot?’

He mumbles something, his eyes are still shut, and I can see how much he is trying to concentrate on anything but the turbulence.

‘We should go back to our seats,’ I tell him.

‘No!’ he exclaims, reaching out frantically for my arm. ‘Stay with me.’ I look down to find my wrist locked in his tight grip.

He doesn’t need to say anything. It’s the way he looks at me that pulls me right back into his orbit. My heart gives way, and I take my other hand and cover his with it.

‘I’ll stay,’ I assure him.

We rock together in the galley until the turbulence comes to a stop. As the plane settles, Elliot and I give each other a nervous look, our hands still interlocked. In the stillness, I’m afraid to pull away from him. Because once I do, I’ll have to face the reality of figuring out where we stand with each other.

‘Are you okay?’ I ask.

‘Mmhmm,’ he says with a forced smile. ‘Just a nervous flyer. Thank you,’ he adds, taking his hand out of mine.

I gulp nervously. ‘Should we… go back?’

‘Yeah.’ Elliot stands up straight. ‘I’ll see you when we land.’

When we arrive at the hotel in Dublin, my first instinct is to dump my bags in my room and immediately start wandering around the city. We only have five days in the city. Two are dedicated to bookstore visits for Claudia, three are for festival appearances and events, and my focus for this portion of the tour is reporting on what her days look like here. According to Elliot, Claudia has a very dedicated Irish readership. But the grizzly weather puts me off my sightseeing plans. I curl up in bed, watching the Dublin skyline disappear beneath a fog as I to sink into reading Bridget Jones’s Diary.

I’d read it cover to cover several times, and I was hoping that returning to an old favourite would give me some reprieve from dwelling over Elliot, the article and the way I’d left things with Mum back home. But it’s no use and I find myself reading the same page over and over again, so I shut it and look out the window. The rain has finally subsided.

There’s so much I want to see. I make a mental note to reserve a spot to see The Book of Kells at Trinity College. Oscar Wilde’s old apartment is just down the road from us, and I want to see his statue in the park nearby. Not to mention all the bookstores.

I head down to the lobby of the hotel, which is the Dublin branch of citizenM. It’s nestled among a line of residential buildings in a quiet part of the city. What it lacks in size and surrounding charm, it more than makes up for with its luxurious atmosphere even if it was a budget hotel. Claudia has been set up in a room at The Leinster, a boutique hotel around the corner from us. I’m just happy I don’t have to share a room with Elliot anymore.

I stand in the entrance way, taking out a brochure for a hop-on, hop-off bus tour of Dublin. While I know it would be a little cheesy, there’s something endearing about being a stranger in a new city.

‘So,’ says a voice from just behind me. ‘Hop-on, hop-off tour, huh?’ I turn around to see Elliot holding a brochure identical to mine.

I scrunch up my brochure. ‘It’s a silly idea,’ I say, feeling slightly embarrassed.

Elliot tilts his head and raises his eyebrows at me. ‘Oh, I don’t know. It might be fun.’

His words hang around me like a comforting hug. As if to say: everything will be all right.

He steps forward and motions up to the sky. A breeze picks up around us. ‘How else are we going to see all the major sights in between publicity stops?’