Page 53 of Always Be My Pumpkin

I stand and start walking the lakeside path that leads to Hazel Cottage and Sarah falls into step beside me. ‘I’m going to write a letter and send it to his home in Cricket Falls.’

‘A letter?’ She cocks her head, throws me a questioning look. ‘Would it not be better to talk to him?’

‘He’ll be gone for twelve days. He has to talk to his parents, he has to sort stuff out at work, and he has to talk to Natalie.’ I sigh. ‘The last thing he needs in the middle of all that is me on the phone wanting to chat about our hot night of passion and how I don’t think we should do that again. He’s got bigger fish to fry.’

Sarah frowns, but I keep going. ‘Letters work for Flynn. They’re his love language.’

‘His what?’

‘His love language, the way he likes to express himself, process things. We always wrote letters to each other, even when we were sitting a few tables apart in the same class.’

I swallow the lump in my throat, remind myself to breathe and let go of old wounds.

‘I was hurt that he didn’t write a letter that week before he left. I was so sure he would, and it would have made all the difference to know why he laughed, why he left without telling me how he felt about leaving me behind. But he’s written every year since, even if it’s only just a card. And I’ve written back. And it’s been our lifeline. The thread that’s held us together.’

‘What will you say?’

‘I’m not sure yet. I don’t think I’ll know until I start writing, until I see the words on the page. Maybe it’s my love language too, my way of processing.’

Sarah smiles softly. ‘I’m pretty sure your love language is singing soppy songs.’

I try to laugh but it’s strained as my chest aches at the bittersweet memories of Flynn singing at Sarah’s birthday party, and me murdering my favourite song from Twilight so many times. ‘Maybe when I was sixteen. But those days are gone and I’m done being soppy. I’m done pining for someone who was only ever truly mine as a friend.’

I lift my chin as we pass by Hazel Cottage.

‘I still love him as my friend.’ My voice sounds as heavy as my heart as I try to help Sarah understand. ‘And I want to keep him in my life, even if all that means is a few lines every Christmas, to know that he’s happy, to let him know I care. So, I’m going to write him a letter, and explain. And he can take his time to think it over, and when he’s ready, when he’s back here in Oakwood, he can come and find me, and we can talk.’

‘I’m so sorry, Gracie,’ Pat says as we tuck into lunch a small while later. ‘I should have made it clear I was talking about the house.’

We’re in the back corner by the stove. Sarah and I are on the couch, and Pat and Tim are across from us on the bench. And the table between us is piled high with bowls of steaming soup, pots of tea, and plates of toasted sandwiches and garden salad.

‘It never occurred to me that you’d think I meant the shop. It was always the house Gemma wanted for the extension. I thought you and Gertrude knew that.’

He takes his knife and slices through his ham and cheese toastie. ‘And I know Flynn told you I want him to have the shop. It’ll be his eventually anyway, and I have more than enough from the sale of the house and the land behind to keep me comfortable.’

‘He did tell me,’ I say. ‘But I assumed he decided not to accept it or that you’d both agreed to sell it on.’ And I thought that maybe he hoped helping me realise my dream would make up for leaving again.

Pat furrows his brow as he chews on his sandwich. He seems to be considering something, making up his mind. ‘He needs to talk to Elaine. I get that. It should have been hers in the first place. But she’ll want him to have it, I know she will. That husband of hers might have other ideas but it’s none of his damn business.’

He tilts his head, narrows his eyes on me. ‘But it is your business, Gracie. You’re the main reason Flynn would want to stay here. Did you not ask him about it? Did you not try to persuade him to make the right decision?’

I pull back, shake my head. ‘That’s not up to me.’ Because, if he is thinking about going back to Natalie, that’s his choice to make.

‘Really?’ His brows lift.

‘Of course not,’ I say. ‘Flynn has his own life to live. I can’t expect him to move here just so I can keep my friend close.’ I sag into the soft leather behind me. ‘I know he’d enjoy running his own garden centre, and I know he misses you, and this place. But he has a lot of reasons to want to stay in Cricket Falls. His parents, his job . . . And now that Natalie’s back.’

‘Natalie.’ Pat’s face darkens. ‘But she hasn’t spoken to him for two years. I know she keeps in touch with Elaine, but she cut Flynn off completely.’

‘Well, she wants to speak to him now,’ I say. ‘And Flynn wants to talk to her too. He’s going to see her as soon as he gets home.’

‘I hope she doesn’t start all that nonsense about you again.’ He gives an exasperated grunt. ‘I know she was good to him and I know she was a great support to Elaine.’ He shakes his head. ‘But that doesn’t give her the right to tell him who he can and can’t be friends with.’

‘What?’ Sarah jumps in before I get the chance, and I follow with ‘I’m sorry, Pat, I don’t know what you mean.’

Tim lays his hand on Pat’s arm, and I catch a slight shake to his head as though he’s asking Pat not to say too much more.

‘You, Gracie, I mean you.’ He twists back to Tim. ‘I know it’s not my place, but Flynn’s not here, and if Natalie’s laying down the law again, Gracie needs to be told.’