Page 9 of Derecho

“So I’ve heard. Are you happy with the menu, Mrs. Peretti, or would you like to make any substitutions for next week?”

“And miss out on your lasagna? Absolutely not. I look forward to it all week.”

“Well, I’m…” My vision swam as I wiped the sweat from my face. “I’m happy to hear that.”

I felt the weight of her gaze on me as I tried to catch my breath. “Are you alright, dear? Do you want to come sit down for a minute?”

I did want to sit down, but not here. Not before I’d made it through my deliveries. Once they were done, I could go home. I could go home and rest. Avoid figuring things out like I didn’t have a ticking time bomb rapidly growing in my belly. “Oh no, I’m fine. I just need to drink some water, which I have in my car. I’ll see you next week, okay, Mrs. Peretti?”

“Of course, honey. Unless you have that baby. You ring me up and let me know. I’ll bring you a casserole. Oh!” She reached into the pocket of her gardening apron. “Here’s your money for this week.”

I smiled, relief wrapping around my heart as soon as the envelope landed in my hand. “Thank you. And that sounds really nice. But he’s staying put. I’d bet a million dollars on that!”

My legs ached as I made my way back to my car. Greg hadn’t been home all week. After the way we left things, that was for the best. Except he wasn’t answering my texts about getting the AC fixed in the car. And the AC at home had been acting up, so it wasn’t like I was getting much relief sleeping in our 80 degree house every night.

I made the most undignified sound as I lowered myself into the car, reaching for my water bottle as soon as my ass hit the seat. There were barely two gulps of water left, but that was okay. They did the job. I just needed to make it out to the Silver Ridge Ranch. I’d drop the trays of food off at Lachlan’s place, and then I’d stop at the well house on my way home.

The ranch had the crispest, best tasting water. Nearly everyone in town got their drinking water out there, and it was always a little treat to myself to fill up my bottle on the way home from my last delivery of the day.

By the time I was turning onto the road that would bring me out to the ranch, I was a mess. The breeze had blown some of my hair free from my bun, the strands sticking to the sweat on the back of my neck. I truly didn’t know how people survived the summers in Texas before air conditioning. Even growing up as poor as we did, Birdie had always made sure there was a working air conditioning unit in our home.

I should tell her how Greg’s been acting. I should stop hiding behind the shame of how he’s treated me and lean on my family. But I’ve done that my whole life—run to my sister every time I screwed up. Asked her to help fix all my messes.

She told me not to go back to him. To run as fast as I could in the other direction. And I didn’t listen to her. I listened to the way he told me he’d always loved me. That the time we were apart was good for him because he’d worked on himself. Became a better man.

I was a fool. And I was going to get myself out of this mess.

An awful squealing noise came from my car as I turned the wheel to the right, making it sound like the damn thing was on its very last leg as I drove down the dusty ranch road. As soon as I’d driven past the well house, I knew I made a mistake. My throat pulled at the dryness…Damn, I should have stopped for water on the way to his house.

I was feeling really nauseous all of a sudden, and little black dots were starting to dance in my vision. It was just the heat. I’d be fine in a few minutes.

Breeze still whipping my hair all over the place, I pulled into Lachlan’s driveway. Slowly, I undid my seat belt and hoisted myself out of the car, waving to him as I opened the back door. He was still on his porch, the same spot as always.

The trays slid into my hands, and I blinked away some of the floaters from my vision as I shut the door with my hip. There was no wind now, just the hot Texas afternoon sun beating down on me as I made my way up the steps.

“How far’d you make it today?” I asked as he held his hand out to me. As soon as I’d placed the trays in his arm, I felt the nausea come back with a vengeance. My ears were ringing and…

Oh God…

Lachlan

I’d been anxiously waiting for her to get here all damn day. The parts and equipment I’d ordered for the AC in her car were sitting by the edge of the porch…right where the auto store guy had delivered them earlier in the day. Of course, everything I needed was in there, but that didn’t stop me from eyeing the bag suspiciously. If something wasn’t in there that I needed, there was no way I’d be able to fix her AC, and then she’d suffer more—because of me.

“Are you even listening to what I’m saying?” Hayes asked, his eyes narrowing as he sat back in the rocking chair next to me.

“Nope.”

“Fair enough.” He laughed. “I was asking if you wanted to hang out tomorrow. I’m watching Connor for Colt and Violet so they can have a date night. Figured maybe you could come over to my place and just have some no pressure time away from here.”

Shit. I sighed, running my hand over my face. Because my older brother was just trying to do the same thing our parents and our other siblings did. They were trying to give me a reason to get off the porch. To motivate me. But what they didn’t know was that all that pressure—well intended or not—just reminded me how much I was still drowning. It made me feel like a failure.

“I’ll think about it,” was the only answer I managed to come up with.

“Yeah, okay.” Hayes groaned as he got up from the chair. “Like I said, no pressure. I could always bring Connor over here and we could hang for a bit. I’ll shoot you a message⁠—”

“You don’t have to walk on eggshells around me. You asked, I answered. I’ll try, but I’ll still fail. Because I’m trapped here,” I grabbed my cane and stood up from my chair, tapping it against the wood of the porch before bringing my right hand up to tap on my head, “and I’m trapped in here.”

“You’re working on it, and that’s more than enough. Everyone feels that way. Ma, Dad, Colt, Beau and I. Hell, Jessie and Hawk were just talking about how impressive it is that you make it out here every day. A couple months ago, that was unthinkable.”