Page 305 of Coal Hearts

As we’d panted on the tiled floor, still joined and sticky, I’d had a flush of the old me. The human part of me who wanted to stroke her and kiss her and say thank you. But she’d ruined it by shoving me away, shooting to her feet, then stumbling from the shower.

In one move, she reminded me all over again that just because I could take her whenever I damn well wanted didn’t mean she would ever feel the same way I did.

At least she hadn’t gone far.

I’d found her sitting on the ugly throne in the corner of my room, t-shirt clad, hair brushed, her eyes on the carpet and hands clenching the armrests.

I supposed that would’ve been the perfect moment to say something.

To discuss what I expected from her. To somehow understand how three days had passed in a fugue.

How had we slept so long and deep? Had she ever crashed that hard before?

I certainly hadn’t.

Even after my mother’s funeral or the long trip to visit my brother—both events crammed with sleepless nights—I hadn’t fallen face first into oblivion and struggled to crawl my way out.

Whatever had happened or whyever our bodies had chosen that exact moment to shut down didn’t really matter.

It’d happened.

We’d been at our most vulnerable, and neither had harmed the other.

That meant some trust must exist.

And now...we were awake.

Rested.

Conscious.

We had the rest of our lives to talk, and I had no intention of letting her ignore me.

Perhaps that’s why she hasn’t spoken a word to you?

Because everything you’ve ever said to her was a lie.

I shifted on the lounger.

Not everything.

I’d been honest. Too honest.

I couldn’t help that she’d chosen to hear good in all the bad.

That was a her problem, not a me problem.

And besides, I still kept my end of the bargain.

Just because I’d chosen to stay and keep her didn’t mean I’d ever let another man fuck her.

She’s mine.

Through and through.

I doubted the attraction I had toward her would fade and...that was fine with me.

I didn’t see the problem feeling something for her because that was the part I’d been denied my whole life. I’d turned into this twisted fucking thing because I’d been prohibited love in all forms.