Page 81 of Wild and Wanted

Drawing in a shuddery breath, Stevie’s head thunked back against the chair. Over the darkening pastures, insect song had set in and stars had just started to pop through the crushed velvet veil of night.

This was her dream. This view, this place, this man.

‘I just want to write songs.’ Stevie could only imagine the songs she could write out here. ‘And this contract allows me to do that. But… I want to give them to other people to sing. I mean, I can record them too and probably will but it’s not my first love. And I’d rather give my songs to artists who can really do them justice.’ In her head, Stevie had seen herself bowing out eventually and encouraging Yolly to go solo, with lyrics she wrote exclusively for her sister.

‘So… why not do that?’

Stevie sighed. The truth was, now she had a platform she probably could but… Yolly. ‘My mom.’

‘Stevie…’ His voice was laced with soft reproach. ‘Why don’t you talk to her about what you’re experiencing? I’m sure she wouldn’t want you going through that.’

‘I can’t.’ Stevie shook her head. ‘The only thing that has kept her going these past couple of years is my music career. Yolly’s music career. Trying to make sure Yolly’s dream for our music comes to fruition. It’s what gets her out of bed each day. It’s why she keeps putting one foot in front of the other instead of crumpling into a heap. You didn’t see her that day. You weren’t there in the hospital or in those days after.’ Stevie’s voice broke a little but she continued. ‘Yolly was taken away from her but she has this. And I can’t take that from her, too. I just can’t, Clay. I won’t.’

Stevie knew how messed up it was but for better or worse, grief had reset all the norms in their lives and they were all just dealing with it in the best way they knew how.

‘Oh… Stevie.’ Even in the encroaching night, concern set Clay’s features in stark relief.

‘It’s okay.’ She cleared her throat as she shook her head and plastered a smile on her face. ‘I’m being very dramatic. Making it sound much more dire than it is. Don’t worry about it.’ She waved a dismissive hand in the air. ‘Plus I’m really starving. Can we eat?’

He regarded her for long moments. ‘You don’t want to talk about this any more?’

Stevie shook her head. ‘I really don’t.’ They could go round and round the houses on it and they’d still end up back here.

‘Okay.’ He smiled and nodded. ‘You want me to put on the grill or should we Netflix and chill with that pint of Ben and Jerry’s in the freezer?’

Was that a real question? ‘Ice-cream.’

He stood, picking up her guitar with one hand and holding his other out for her to take. ‘Shower first? And by that I mean sex in the shower first?’

Stevie laughed, almost giddy with relief. ‘I thought you’d never ask,’ she murmured as she took his hand and followed him into the cabin.

24

STEVIE

A few days later, Stevie sat on the second lowest row of the wooden bleachers watching Mags show off her barrel racing chops. She was wearing her now standard hat, jeans and T-shirt having shucked the fringes and finery not long after her mother had departed. A dozen other guests all sitting on various levels around her were also watching the show.

Stevie had seen it several times already but it was riveting as ever. Clay’s sister’s skill with a horse was amazing and she could see why Mags had also made the professional circuit. And why her and Clay would make a great team in their new rodeo stock business.

Clay had talked about it a lot the past few days as he and Mags really got down to the brass tacks of how it all would work, and he’d been truly animated. Stevie loved hearing the passion in his voice, loved that he sounded like she did when she talked about writing songs.

It was also helpful to distract him from wanting to circle back to her stuff.

Somebody sat down beside her and Stevie absently shuffled over before realising it was Theresa. ‘Oh.’ She blinked at Clay’s mother. ‘Hey.’

She and Theresa hadn’t really had a conversation of any length since before John had discovered her and Clay at his cabin. Stevie hadn’t exactly avoided her, and Theresa had been perfectly pleasant when they’d crossed paths, but Stevie still felt bad about all the sneaking around they were doing. Because she wasn’t a sneaker and she hated that it might reflect badly on her in the eyes of Clay’s mom.

‘Is it okay if I sit here?’

‘Of course,’ Stevie assured even as she wondered if Theresa was about to quiz her on her intentions.

Neither of them said anything for a few minutes; they just watched Mags do her thing with her horse, their incredible bond on display as they circled the barrels without knocking them over. The quick tight turns along with the speed and agility of the horse and Mags’s incredible balance made fascinating viewing.

Still, it looked like one wrong move by either horse or rider could end badly and she was reminded again of those pictures of Clay on the wall at The Corral.

‘Don’t you worry about them doing this… crazy stuff?’

The question tumbled out before Stevie could check it, but Theresa didn’t seem offended. In fact, she laughed and Stevie relaxed.