Page 101 of Minha Dona

“I know. But I want you to hear this: I’m going to learn. I’m going to learn how to hold you the way you need it when you need to let go. I’ll find my own way to give you that.” She squeezed Helena’s hand. “Not yet. But eventually. I promise.”

“That’s incredibly generous,” Helena said. “It only needs to be occasionally.”

“That’s what love is, isn’t it? When you love someone enough to want them to have whatever they need, even if that means some parts that you can’t provide yet.”

Helena turned her head sharply to look at Caitlin. When you love someone enough… did she mean it? Caitlin looked surprised, then she went still, her eyes widening and her hand going to her mouth when she realised what she’d said.

“Did you just…” Helena started to say.

“I didn’t mean to say it like that.” Caitlin’s cheeks had gone bright red. She looked, to Helena’s eye, objectively very cute indeed. “I meant to… I had a plan, I was going to say properly, at the airport tomorrow, not in the middle of a sentence about…”

Helena kissed her. Hard. She had her hands on Caitlin’s face and she kissed her like their lives depended on it and, after a moment of surprise, Caitlin kissed her back. When she pulled back again Caitlin was looking at her with bright eyes and a slightly dazed expression.

“I love you,” Helena said. “I realise now that I’ve loved you since that night in Houston when you took me out for barbecue. You remember the night?” Caitlin nodded, grinning. “It’s just taken me this long to realise it. I didn’t even know I wanted to say it until now, but I do. And then you went and said it in a sentence about learning to be as good a part time dominant for me as Juliana.”

“That’s very me. Maybe not a story to tell our families.” She laughed. “Not in its entirety, anyway.”

“It’s very you.” Helena shook her head. “God, Caitlin, I love you.”

“I love you.” Caitlin said it properly, deliberately holding Helena’s gaze. “I love you, Helena.”

They sat on the beach, grinning at each other like idiots. It wasn’t the grand moment Helena had imagined, but it didn’t matter.

It was perfect.

***

When they got back to the house, the others were finishing loading the car and about to depart. Camila and Thiago came to say goodbye first, hugging them both, saying how they looked forward to seeing Caitlin next time with genuine feeling.

Mariana was next. She hugged Helena for a long time, whispering in Portuguese, “She’s the one, Helena. I can feel it. Don’t mess this up.”

“I won’t.”

“I know you won’t. But I’m saying it anyway because I’m your sister and it’s my job.” She leaned back and then said louder, switching to English, “You two are sickeningly good together.”

Mariana turned to Caitlin and pulled her into a hug that was fierce, genuine and wholly unlike the reserved handshake of Friday afternoon. “Come back to Brazil,” Mariana said. “Soon. And bring your purse because I’m going to take you shopping.”

Caitlin laughed. “I will. Thank you, Mariana. For everything.”

“Thank me by making my sister happy.” Mariana released her, then leaned close and whispered something that Helena couldn’t hear. Whatever it was made Caitlin smile and nod.

Then came Juliana.

Juliana hugged Caitlin first. It was friendly and close, exactly right for what had happened between the three of them the night before. “Take care of her,” Juliana said. “She pretends she doesn’t need looking after, but she does.”

“I know. I will.”

Then Juliana turned to Helena. They looked at each other… the teacher and the student, the dominant and the submissive, the two women who’d spent months exploring each other and who were now, gently, letting each other go. Juliana was smiling that infectious smile, and Helena couldn’t help smiling back. Then Juliana hugged her, fiercely, and there was so much in that hug. She whispered into Helena’s ear, “I’m going to miss watching you arch your back. I should have got you doing that one more time last night.”

She broke the hug and stepped back with the full, wicked, utterly Juliana grin. Helena laughed.

“Go be happy,” Juliana said. She paused and cocked her head, as if she could sense that something had changed between Helena and Caitlin on the beach that morning. Then her grin turned into a smile and she nodded.

Juliana gave them both one last hug before she was interrupted by the horn of Mariana’s car. She hurried over, her curls bouncing, and turned once more to wave before climbing in.

The car pulled away, the gate closed, and the beach house was quiet again.

Helena and Caitlin stood in the sunshine.