Page 57 of Falling for the King

‘Is this anything to do with the princess?’

‘That’s none of your business,’ Xavier snapped.

‘I know, but it doesn’t stop me from being concerned.’

‘There’s nothing for you to worry about.’

‘And yet I do.’

And Xavier knew why, he could find no peace without her. He needed her. His sense of loss hadn’t abated with his arrival back at the palace, and he didn’t think it ever would. Deflated, at rock bottom, he dropped all pretence and asked the one thing he wanted to know, needed to know.

‘Do you know when she’s coming back? Have you heard anything at all from her?’ He leant forward unable to care that he’d exposed his feelings so fully. Because maybe Frederick knew something that he didn’t know, and Kat was worth that.

Understanding and compassion crossed Frederick’s face.

‘No. I’ve only spoken to her executive assistant, not directly to Katerina. Originally, as you know, she was to be away for two weeks but now she’s left London and gone to an eco lodge in the Pacific. Though I understand she’ll be back next week. Do you want me to contact her directly, speak to her?’

‘No. No.’ Xavier closed his eyes for a moment trying to manage his crushing disappointment. He knew all that, he just wanted to … speak to her, be with her, know that she was okay. He could try himself, if she’d even take his call, but to what purpose. She’d made it crystal clear what she needed from him and that was to leave her alone. He could at least give her that. Distractedly he rubbed a hand over his chest to the gnawing empty void inside.

‘I don’t need to remind you about the treaty with Resleigh.’

Xavier’s eyes snapped open and stared directly into Frederick’s.

‘You don’t.’

Silence settled between them.

‘I’m not concerned about your ability to make a decision, a good sound one. You always do and you know more than anyone what’s at stake’.

Xavier rubbed at his temple. He did.

‘I’m not marrying anyone from Resleigh.’

Frederick continued to stare at him.

‘Who are you marrying?’

Xavier opened his mouth then jammed it closed. What could he say? Mind your own business. No-one, because she won’t have me.

‘Is there anything you want to tell me, ask me, get me to investigate? It goes without saying it would never go beyond these walls,’ Frederick stated breaking the silence.

‘I know that.’ He trusted Frederick but what had happened between him and Kat was personal and between them.

‘That’s all for tonight, Frederick, and thank you for the tour, for everything.’

‘You’re always welcome.’ Frederick stood and walked over to the bar built into the side wall. Picking up a decanter he poured a generous amount of amber liquid into a crystal glass. ‘You look like you could do with this.’ He deposited the glass on Xavier’s desk. ‘Then please try and get some sleep, you’ll find a way, you always do.’

Xavier looked up at Frederick, at the trust and faith he saw reflected in his eyes and a lump formed in his throat.

‘Thank you,’ he said with a betraying hoarseness and hoped he could live up to his expectations. To everyone’s.

***

Hours later, still in his office Xavier watched the sun rise. Instead of infusing him with his usual sense of purpose about the day ahead, he wondered how he’d get through another twenty-four hours, a lifetime without Kat. Yes, he’d still have official contact with her if she came back, but he knew now that wouldn’t be enough, it would be hell.

He replayed the scene again, the one from fourteen long days ago. When she’d asked for the impossible, for him to love her. Everything he had to give wasn’t enough without that, the one thing he couldn’t give her. Her rejection had been crushing not only because she’d demanded the unthinkable but because he’d hurt her. The look on her face, in her eyes, the sound she’d made when he’d made it clear that he didn’t, wouldn’t, couldn’t ever love her. He shot up out of his chair, that tortured him as much as her rejection.

He went over her words, the ones that still haunted, that they weren’t his parents. An acknowledgement that his views on the destructive powers of love were founded witnessing first-hand the dramas of their marriage. He’d wanted to growl his denial that he knew that but she’d exposed his deepest, darkest fear that he would turn out like his father, behave like him. Although he’d defend to his dying breath that Kat wasn’t anything like his vain, flighty, unfaithful mother, nor would she ever be.