Page 93 of The Christmas Highland Lodge

‘I never was your son. You relinquished all of that when you sodded off and left Mum and me.’ He gave his father a scornful look. ‘You told her on that Christmas Eve that you were leaving and that you didn’t want to be a father.’

Jason’s amber eyes popped with shock. ‘What? No, Blake. It wasn’t like that. Is that what your mother told you? Because it isn’t true.’

Blake’s muscles tensed. ‘Don’t you dare say anything about Mum. She isn’t here to defend herself.’

A pained sigh escaped out of Jason. ‘I know that and I’m so sorry you lost her. But what she told you, Blake… That isn’t what happened.’

Blake looked like he wanted to stride across there and punch his dad.

‘I don’t know why she told you something like that. Please believe me. You deserve to know the truth.’

Blake fired his father a look. ‘I wouldn’t believe a bloody word that comes out of your mouth. Anyone capable of doing what you did to a young woman and a small child – abandoning them at Christmas…’

Then he turned to look at me. The hurt was alight in his eyes. ‘Yes. That’s right, Lottie. My father walked out on my mother and me on Christmas Eve. No awards for Dad of the Year. What do you think of that?’

My heart contracted for him. I wanted to throw my arms around him and tell him everything would be all right. ‘Oh God, Blake,’ I murmured. ‘I’m so sorry.’

His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. ‘I was five years old and spent that Christmas with my mother sobbing her heart out because of him.’ His lips promised a brief, almost wry smile. ‘Mum and I never celebrated another Christmas after he left. It was tarnished for both of us.’ He struggled to conceal the pain. ‘Now you might understand why I don’t have a lot of fond memories of Christmas.’

Shock and empathy followed by an emerging understanding filtered through me. The festive season held too many horrible, painful memories for him. They were Christmases he’d never had. Ones that held no happiness for him. They were ones he wanted to forget.

‘I never received a Christmas card from you, let alone a birthday card,’ he spat at his father. Blake’s black eyes fired up. ‘Not even a short letter, asking how I was or how I was doing at school. But of course, you would already know that, as you didn’t give a shit.’

‘Whoa. Hang on a second.’ Jason’s face drained of all colour. ‘Say that again.’

‘What part? There are so many gems to choose from.’ Blake’s brows were thunderous. ‘The bit about you turning Mum into a bitter, unhappy woman who never smiled again? The part about you never keeping in contact with me? Or the fact you never bothered to buy your own son a birthday or Christmas present?’

Blake glanced down at me; his handsome face riven with resentment. ‘She never got over my dad walking out on us. She died five years ago.’

My chest heaved for him. ‘I’m so sorry, Blake.’

Blake snapped his furious gaze from me to his dad’s partner, as Rob spoke, breaking through my thoughts.

‘Blake, your dad did send you birthday and Christmas presents, as well as cards and letters, but Saffron kept returning them unopened, so in the end he stopped.’

Blake let out a dismissive snort, which made his breath coil in the chilly woodland air. ‘And how the hell would you know? Oh yes, because he told you?’ His gaze zoomed up and down Rob. ‘Do you always believe what he tells you?’ Blake scowled. ‘A piece of advice: I wouldn’t believe a word that comes out of his mouth.’ Blake threw Rob a dismissive glower. ‘You weren’t around then, so you have no idea.’

‘It’s true,’ croaked Jason, glancing back at Rob in a plea for support. ‘If I had known about your mum and how tough she was finding it being on her own and bringing you up, I would have been there for her. I had no idea she was struggling…’

Blake folded his muscular arms. ‘Oh, don’t tell me. You would have come charging back to rescue your little boy.’

‘Yes. I would have.’

Blake rolled his eyes up to the woodland sky. They were hard and unwavering. ‘Yeah. Sure, you would.’ He angled his dark head to one side. ‘So where did you think I was? In Narnia? At Hogwarts?’

Jason rushed down the porch steps towards Blake, but he held up one protesting hand. ‘Don’t.’

Jason bit back evident disappointment. He did as he was told and stayed, rigid to the spot. ‘You have to believe me.’

‘I don’t have to believe a word you say.’

Jason flicked his eyes heavenwards again. ‘No, you’re right. You don’t have to believe anything I say. But I’m telling you the truth, Blake. Like Rob just told you, I did try to keep in touch with you, but every time I sent you anything, your mum would return it unopened.’

This was all so surreal. It must have been even worse for Blake.

We were surrounded by frosty, festive woodland, with only a few days to go until Christmas and this painful scenario was playing out, dredging up pain, resentment and memories from years ago.

Jason wrung his hands together. ‘When we first split up, your mother refused to tell me where you had moved to. She said I had relinquished all rights to contact with you when I left, but that was the last thing I wanted.’ He swallowed. ‘I tried to reason with her, but she wouldn’t tell me anything. In the end, I had no option but to recruit a private investigator.’