Page 16 of End Of Never

“I’d agree with you under any other circumstances, Sir, but this choice here is the right one.” Mr. Wilder nods his head, giving us a slight smirk. I can imagine it’s hard to need help after being self-sufficient for so long. It’s probably harder to watch your son give up his place in life to help with daily tasks.

We make our way to the kitchen, where we stand around a marble countertop island. Hayden looks at his Dad, “Don’t go wonderin’ old man.” He chuckles and looks up from his fixated, dropped gaze.

“Wonderin’ what?” He moves slowly around the island, for no reason at all, making us laugh.

“Wonderin’ what we’re doing, wonderin’ why I did what I did, and beating yourself up about it. Simmer down over there, we don’t need you having a heart attack on top of sickness because of all your worryin.’ Jace and I start work at the fire station here in town on Monday. I’ll move in here and be able to help around the house, or do whatever you need me to do.” Taking in Mr. Wilder’s pressed lips, I know he wants to say something.

“Taking care of me isn’t your job.” Before I can make light of the situation, Hayden jumps in.

He leans over to his Dad, placing his hand on his back, “Tough shit, Dad. I’m here; it’s my turn to take care of you. Now go to bed, it’s late.” With that, we all laugh. This is gonna be fun. We all drift out of the kitchen, making our way to our rooms.

Getting into bed, I think about how the town hasn’t changed. It’s almost as if time had stood still. How can a place look the same after eight years, yet feel so different?

Chapter 15

Lilla

‘Mount Marian Vet Hospital–Come. Sit. Heal.

Looking up at the large dark blue and white sign towering over my brick building, I feel a sense of success coursing through me. I did it. For months, we poured every second into making this clinic mine, and after all the sweat and tears, I step through this door, and I remember who I was and who I became to get here. I worked my ass off for years, saving and pulling extra shifts to make it here on my own, on my own terms, all by my damn self. I figured it out, the hard way, and it paid off.

Floor-to-ceiling windows line the front with a double-door entrance located in the middle. I had the contractors replace the steps to the main entrance with a shallow ramp, making it easy for even the most unwell animals to seek sanctuary.

Walking in, I pause to truly take in my accomplishments. I wanted to make the space bright and happy: soft, sunshine-yellow paint coats the walls, while the tile floor is a dark grey. There are both dog and cat rooms. Each has a box of toys for the animals to play with while they wait, along with treats the owner can give if they choose. Making my way to the reception desk, Vicky sits behind, looking cheery as always, with her curly blonde bob resting just below her chin, her warm smile, and bright pink fuchsia glasses. “Good morning, Dr. Lane. I have everything ready for your first two appointments; they should arrive in fifteen minutes. I also got you a birthday coffee! Happy 25th birthday, sweetie.”

“Good morning. Love your glasses today, and thank you, but you know I don’t celebrate my birthday, never have. I’m going to head back and get situated. When they arrive, send them back.” She takes her coffee, thanking me the entire way back to my office. I hear her yell down the hall.

“Well, too damn bad, because WE do now!” I can feel her smiling through her hootin’ and hollerin’. Before I turn into my office, I look back at her. She raises her coffee, giving me a wink as she takes a sip. I raise my cup to her in silent appreciation. My birthday has never been something to celebrate, Haley tried, and she always succeeded, because she wouldn’t take no for an answer, and I have a feeling Mrs. Vicky wouldn’t either. So instead of pushing her, I’ll invite the love, and I’ll embrace it, because it’s something I didn’t have, and now I do.

Throwing on my white coat, I make my way down the hallway just as I hear the bells jingle from the front door.

I smile, moving towards her, grabbing the clipboard off the counter, “Good morning, Mrs. Martha. How are you and sweet Honey doing?” Martha lifts the cat carrier, where Honey is meowing, begging to get out. “Follow me on through to the back.” On the way, she tells me about her husband, Rodger, and how precious their grandchildren are.

“Let’s take a look at Honey here.” She is a beautiful, chubby tabby cat. She reminds me a lot of Garfield. “Looks like she’s still eating well.” Martha laughs while petting Honey. “I’m going to give her a few shots, but otherwise, Honey looks wonderful. Well done, she’s happy and so well loved.” After giving Honey her shots, she crawls back into the cat carrier, and they head out until next time.

In the room over, John is sitting with his Lab. “Hello, Teddy, how are we, big guy!” Teddy wags his nub swiftly, loving the attention and treats. “It says here, something may be wrong with his ears?” John nods, telling me everything that seems to be troubling his best friend. A quick look at his cute, floppy ears suggests an ear infection.

“Glad I brought him in.” John stands from the corner chair, while Teddy happily weaves around his legs.

“Let’s pop him up on the table. I’ll do a thorough ear cleaning with a medicated solution, and he’ll also need ear drops. That should resolve the infections within one to two weeks. Just keep an eye on him, and if it doesn’t seem better by then, bring him back. I’ll be over this weekend to walk him for you. How is your wife?” Teddy stands mighty on top of the counter, now at face level with me, sending me all his air kisses.

As I clean Teddy’s ear, John tells me about his wife and that he has some exciting news; he just wants to be sure it sticks before he tells me details. Telling him I am so excited to hear, and I’d be over this weekend, he gives me a big hug, before I send them on their way with a goody bag of treats and ear drops.

The day flies by, filled with sloppy dog kisses and cat love, all here for different reasons, all wanting the same outcome: happy, healthy, and thriving.

Before heading home, I decided to swing by and pick up Chinese for Haley and me. She works a twelve-hour day, and I know when she gets home, she will need food. Crossing over the town bridge, I can’t help but slow down as I do every day, never forgetting that moment of weakness. The moment I wanted to give up, I’m grateful that I didn’t. Every time I pass, I think about the person I was, reminding myself never to be here again. She was pained, broken, and needed someone to need her.

I no longer need anyone. The people in my life are here because I want them to be. That is the power of growth, resilience, and finding your own way. I used to hate when my Mother told me to ‘figure it out,’ but I did. Even when I wasn’t given the choice, I kept going, reaching higher, never willing to plateau or stagnate. Up is the only direction I know now; if I get knocked down or pushed around, I’ll get right back up again. That’s life, it's forever altering, changing course, the path sometimes fading into darkness. And sometimes, the only way to stay on course is to make your own light. Ride the waves, shift with the current, be unstoppable. A force that, no matter how rocky life gets, you hold the fuck on, and make it the ride of your life.

Just as I cross the bridge, I notice someone standing in the middle, in the same spot I stood years ago. As I begin to pass, I slow down and yell out my window, “Don’t jump!” I keep watching the person in my rear view mirror shift stance, probably wondering who would yell such a crazy request, only to drive away.

All I know is, those two words once saved my life, not in that exact moment, but in all the times that came after.

Chapter 16

Jace

“Don’t jump!”