Page 17 of End Of Never

The black 4Runner crosses the bridge, leaving me with the words that have haunted me for eight years. Eight years of wondering if Lilla ever came back here, if she ever did jump. Years of beating myself up for what happened, for something I couldn’t even control. Was it her? It couldn’t have been, right?

I’m back in her town. The place she’s been all this time, was she still lost? Who is Lilla Lane eight years later? Looking back over the bridge, I watch the water run along the bank, snatching the sticks and twigs off the shore. The words from years ago hit me, ‘You’re too pretty to float with the sticks.’ I meant it. She was angelically beautiful, in a way she didn’t even know; it was as if I was being pulled to her by some force.

I jump into my truck, heading to the station for my first shift. Hayden jumps out of his pickup just as I pull into the lot. He nods, waiting for me to get out, “Ready?”

We walk in together, just like we did on our first day at Station 18, only now we enter Station 43, our new home, where we’re the newbies.

The guys are loading and washing their rigs. A tall man with grey hair, whose hair runs down into his beard, walks over to us. “Welcome to Station 43. I’m Chief Edwards. Follow me, and we’ll get you set up for your first day, then you can meet the crew.” We do as he says, following him to the back.

We look around, getting acquainted with our new ‘home.’ “Here are the locker rooms. Pick an open locker, and I’ll grab you a key. Uniforms are in there already. Get dressed, and come on out.”

This isn’t our first rodeo; we get dressed and head into the training room where everyone is seated. The chief is standing at the front, waiting for our arrival. “Take a seat, gentleman. Fire season is almost here. I want you all to get to know our new crewmates. Why? Because your life might be in their hands. This is Jace Evans, our new paramedic. This is Hayden Wilder, our new firefighter. Men meet the team. This station runs differently from others. In this small town, everyone does what is needed when it’s needed. Hayden, you are a firefighter. There will come a time when you have to step up to do first aid. Jace, you are trained in both fire and rescue; you will be very valuable to this team.” A man who stands about my height with dark short hair walks over to us.

“I’m Captain Miller, nice to meet you guys.” He shakes our hand, leading us over to the table filled with men and women. Some I know from school, old friends with new faces.

Just as Hayden and I go to sit down, the fire bell rings. “First call, show us what you got.” A younger man with blonde hair pats me on the shoulder before leading the way out. We all hustle to our rigs, gearing up.

Jumping into the ambulance, a man who looks roughly my age jumps into the driver's seat. “Hey, I’m Cody. Nice to meet you.” We pull out of the fire station and head to our destination.

Chief’s calls over the radio, “Abandoned building on fire, but the call came from the neighbor. Dispatch said a young boy ran in after a dog.” Fuck. The drive over felt like it took ages, knowing there was a young kid amid the fire, begging for someone to save them.

Our lights flash, and sirens wail as we pull up to an old wooden home, flames bursting through the broken windows, casting a warm glow and igniting the dusky sky. Our engines fly into the yard, all hustling out, assuming the positions Chief sets in place. “What's the report?” The chief yells at the other station already on scene.

“It's brutal in there. We have a line through the front door, we have one guy inside searching.” The Captain of Station 72 turns back to his crew, directing them with the next steps.

Chief yells over at Hayden and Shane. “You two get in there and assist with the search. Johnson and Ramirez get that line pulled to the back and start buying us some time!”

Hayden and Shane both throw their gear on their backs, “Let's go!” Shane’s muffled yell disappears as they head into the deadly house. The flames roar, flickering, heating the air around the building, which is choked with thick smoke, making it clear this fire is relentless and hungry for catastrophe.

Captain Miller gets on the radio, “Let's move! Serious potential for collapse here, you guys have one minute and Chiefs calling it!” Tension is high as the crew fights like hell to win against the blazing flames.

The chief grabs the radio, “Emergency, all firefighters evacuate immediately! Do you copy?” The water fights against the chaos as units rush around, working hard to extinguish the flames. Come on, Hayden, get out of there, man.

“Chief Edwards, Engine 43. We got him, young boy, unconscious, coming to the front door!” Hayden’s voice comes over the radio course, and out of breath. Water cascades over the angry flames as Cody and I get ready for the handoff.

Chief Edwards runs towards the doorway, “Cody, Jace, be ready!” We get near the extraction point, ready to assess the boy and begin immediate treatment.

The flames are being choked by water as Hayden rushes out, followed by Shane, who also has something wrapped in his arms. We rush towards them, assisting in any way we can. Feeling my heart thud against my chest, as my mind silently begs me to save him, save them both. Shane has a small dog wrapped in his blanket, rushing him to Cody, while Hayden quickly lays the small boy on the cart.

“Unresponsive boy, severe smoke inhalation, airway is inflamed. The CO monitor detected dangerous levels. Superficial burns on his left posterior side, and second-degree burns found on the left anterior side.” Listening to Hayden’s report, I look over at the boy as he lays him down, his nose hairs are burnt, and black soot rests around the outside of his mouth. Lying him out on the stretcher, I quickly place the pocket mask over his small, fragile face. Immediately, I start bagging. The sounds around me have silenced, and the fire is no longer my primary focus. He is. Jumping into the ambulance, Cody is ready. He opens the boy's shirt, wipes down his chest, and places the electropads on his small chest.

“The EKG is only showing PEA rhythms; no pulse is detected.” Cody’s voice is harsh as we remove our hands and administer a shock.

No, no, no, no. Fuuuuck. Instantly, begging for his heart to beat. Come on, bud, breathe, come on. Come on, kid. Cody drives to the hospital, and I do everything in my power to save this boy, someone’s child. After providing a hand off, we head back to the station, feeling nothing but tension and praying like hell that boy made it.

The next morning, I woke up to a phone call from the Chief. “I know you wanted an update. I got the report back this morning. The kid didn’t make it. They worked on him for three hours before calling it. We all did everything we could.”

Defeat is all I feel.

Chapter 17

Lilla

This week has been absolute shit; everything is out of my control. There is no stopping what is happening; I simply do not have the power. If I did, I could drain the damn lake that is now home to a toxic algae bloom, and the reason I have had to put down two sweet pups this week. I love my job, the endless dog kisses and cat snuggles, and I love the look on the family's face when I care for their animals like they are my own babies. But some days and weeks are relentless, striking hard, fast, and without mercy. Losing a loved one is hard, whether human or animal; it’s a burden no one wants to carry. It’s tough to be the one administering the very thing that stops their heart, and this week I’ve stopped two.

My phone finally rings, “Dr. Lane here. Yes, thank you for calling me back on a Saturday. I’m calling to see what steps are being taken to keep dogs and other animals safe from the contaminated water in the dog park east of town?” The gentleman begins to tell me how all the agencies are working together to ensure safety is the top priority and to manage the spread of algae. I, for one, am not impressed. “That all sounds great on paper, now it’s time to put that good idea to use. Two dogs have been put down because of that water. If that park owner doesn’t want some serious legal action coming, then I suggest you close the damn park.” With that, the backtracking began, the assurances coming in full force, as expected. “With all due respect, sir, save your excuses for court; otherwise, close the park.” Quickly, I flip my phone shut, ending the call, just as I pull into John’s driveway, where Teddy is peaking out the window, waiting for my arrival.

John’s wife, Layla, opens the door, and Teddy comes barreling out, running right into my legs, chasing his tail, and kissing me wildly. “Good morning, big guy, are you ready for your exercise?" Leaning down, scratching his back, giving him all my love, feeling my anxiety surrounding the dog park fade, just a little.