Page 19 of End Of Never

Hayden turns around, heading back to the locker rooms, “Oh, he has an appointment at the new vet clinic, your dad gave me the number. It's at nine am.” Well, then, that’ll do.

I woke up at five a.m. because Zeus has an appointment at nine…No, I woke up at five a.m. because I am going to see Lilla in four hours, 30 minutes, and 28 seconds. I’m going to show little miss ‘nice to meet you’ just how much we’ve already met.

Now we are sitting outside the vet clinic, waiting for the right moment to go in. Assuming fifteen minutes will do, I grab my little pocket dog and head inside.

“Good morning!” An older gal, with bright yellow glasses, welcomes me in. She checks me in and takes me to the far back room, where she tells me to wait, the very thing I’ve been doing since before the sun rose. Cool beans.

After what feels like an eternity, there is a soft knock on the door, and Lilla slides in. Beautiful as ever. “Hello.” She doesn’t even look up; she beelines straight for Zeus.

“Hello, aren’t you a cutie!” He kisses her while jumping around, acting all big. Lilla picks him up, walks him to the table, and places him on top while feeding him treats. “Vicky says, you’ve just gotten him, so today we’ll give him his shots, and do an overall well check. Then I’ll send home a sample bag. I’ll need you to bring in a stool sample so we can check for parasites.” Still, her eyes stay fixated on Zeus. I eye her hard, hoping she feels my gaze burning into her every move.

Walking over to the table, I stand on the other side, placing my hand on Zeus's back, touching hers in the process. Quickly, she removes it.

“Alright, sweet pups, let’s see how healthy you are.” She listens to his heart, checking over his paws, eyes, nose, and teeth. She rubs his tummy, looking at his behind and under, before smiling to herself. Her perfectly white teeth shine as her smile grows, “Looks like your Daddy was right, you are a Zeus, and not a Zeusette.” Oh, we got a funny girl, huh. I smile at her, waiting for her eyes to find mine. I clear my throat, trying my damndest to get her attention. I watch her as she turns around, keeping one hand on Zeus, using the other to grab the shots.

“Need me to hold him?” I ask her with a slight chuckle.

“Nope,” she pushes the shots down between his shoulder blades, giving him a treat after each one. “All done, any questions?” This time, she finally looks up; her eyes are soft yet conflicted, as if the last thing on earth she wants to do is look at me.

“Umm, yes. Are you always this chipper with your new clients?” I give her my best smirk; Lilla shoots me an intense eye roll and a scoff, feisty. I lick my bottom lip, bringing it between my teeth, fighting back another laugh, “Anyway, how much food should I feed him?” She lifts Zeus off the counter and leans back against the cabinets, crossing her arms.

“Zeus appears to be a mini golden doodle. He should eat three to four meals a day, until about six months, then you can drop it down to two to three meals a day.” She watches Zeus play with the chew toy on the floor.

I take a step towards her, “Right, mini. So he isn’t going to get much bigger?” I watch her straighten at my advancement.

She grabs her clipboard, nervously, “I’d say between 15 and 35 pounds. Is that all your questions?”

I shake my head, knowing she is trying her damndest to get rid of me. What she doesn’t know is I’m not going anywhere. The need to know her is intoxicating. “As far as exercise, how much does a mini doodle need?” I watch as her chest begins to rise and fall, her lips press tight, and her knees lock as she stands straighter. She’s nervous.

She swallows, “I’d say 40 to 90 minutes. He’ll be due back in four months for another round of shots. Bring in the fecal sample anytime, and I’ll be sure to test it.”

I grin at her need to flee, “Thanks. Lilla?” She looks up from giving Zeus love. “Nice slogan.” I watch her intently, the way her eyes fall, how she bites the inside of her cheek, almost like she’s stopping herself from saying something. She quickly opens the door and shows us out. As we exit, I stop right in front of her, stealing her eyes with mine, “I hope you no longer think of floating, because you're too damn beautiful to float with sticks.”

Chapter 19

Lilla

The minute Jace turns to leave, I haul ass to my office. Fuck, fuck, fuck, closing the door, I pace my office floor, damn near burning a hole, releasing a big breath, my thoughts start spiraling out of control. Great, now I have to move, start over again, find a new house, a new job, a new life. I can’t be here with him, in my town, in my space, after he just left. My pacing becomes frantic as I speed walk the tile, turning swiftly just before hitting each end of the room. Breathe bitch. Breathe. We don’t let assholes win, right? He’s an asshole. This is my fucking town, my office, my life, my space. No. He doesn’t get to come back here all sexy with a smile that makes me weak in the knees, ohhhh no, big muscled man, not today. I sink into my office chair, turning in circles, pumping myself up.

Deep in thought, my office door opens, and Vicky steps in, “You have a client ready in room three. Are you okay in there?” I know I look like a mess. I can feel the sweat dripping from my hairline. My chest rises and falls hard, as if I’ve just run for miles. Standing up, I march over to Vicky.

“Very good, I’m fine, I’m absolutely perfectly without a doubt, A-Ok, perfectly fine.” She watches me as I struggle to clip on my badge, the one I didn’t realize I had ripped off in my downward spiral.

“Hmm, would this have anything to do with the hunk who just left, because he was very curious about you?” She pulls her vibrant yellow glasses to the tip of her nose, looking at me through the tops with a cheeky smile.

Sliding my hands down my white coat, I march to her, “What did you tell him? When I opened, how long I've been here, what I do, where I live, my birthday, did you tell him what days we are closed?” My heart is throbbing against my chest, and Vicky’s almost hurling over in laughter.

Vicky backs up into the hallway, “Sugar, I told him everything, even your favorite color.” Ugh, I want to stomp my feet like a child and wage war on the person who let him back in this town. “Relax, honey, I only made his sweet dog's follow-up appointment, and told him we look forward to seeing him, because do we ever. He was yummy.” I drop my head back, looking up at the ceiling.

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” I compose myself before sliding into room three.

A week has passed since I saw Jace, since he stood in my bubble, in my office, with his soft-spoken words that came out in his demanding tone; he’s always possessive. Haley got a kick out of the meltdown, but I knew she feared what his being back here would do to me. I did too.

For almost eight years, I have done everything in my power to forget the never-ending fall I endured. I can’t say it was all his fault; I chose to lose myself, but what I didn’t decide was to pick up the pieces he left. I was officially ‘the boyfriend stealer.’ The slut who stole Ava’s boyfriend and ran off, oh, then gave him my virginity. I didn’t intentionally steal him. I didn’t ask him to save me, but in doing so, I became a walking target, and the shots they fired were deadly.

To put the thoughts away, I decide to head to the gym, my sanctuary, where growth is seen and felt. The gym has only three people in it, just how I like it. Well, I would prefer to be here alone, where I can grunt and scream while giving it my all, but we can’t always get what we want. I start on the treadmill, getting my heart pumping and blood flowing; with my iPod nano set up and ready with my workout beats, I slip in my earbuds and get running. Once I’m feeling the burn from the cardio, I jump off and head for the leg press machine.

Loud music silences all outside noise as I complete each set with stability and stamina. Sweat drips down my face as I push with everything I have. Completing a full body workout, working out my anxiety and fear that I will falter. This is my town. I walk out the rest of my frustrations, tipping my head back, talking myself up, I will not fail. I am stronger now. I’m Lilla fucking Lane, no damsel in distress, not anymore. I shake my head and my arms, letting out the tension and thoughts, numbing myself, just as I trained myself to do.