Page 30 of End Of Never

“For real, what’s going on? Hayden now stands beside a curious Jace.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but my parents called, both of them, multiple times, all day.” Jace doesn’t know about my childhood, or lack thereof. All he knows is what I told him during my meltdown at his house, before he shoved his fingers in my pussy to shut me up.

Hayden throws his towel over his shoulders. “Do we not want to do this?” He shakes his head no as he asks. Making me smile.

“No. I really don’t…” I pause. Because I don’t want them to see me struggle with anything. I don’t want Jace to see my fragility.

“Don’t worry, I’m good. I always figure it out, right, Haley? Let’s do what we came to do.” Hayden and Jace both eye me, then their attention flies to Haley.

She slaps my ass hard, making me inch forward, “To get bigger asses!” She yells, throwing her fist in the air.

I look at Jace and Hayden, both of whom are smiling. “You heard the woman, get to work.” Following her, I suppress my feelings surrounding my parents, knowing the best thing to do is smother each thought as they come, because the reality is, if I don’t suffocate them, they will end up suffocating me.

An hour later, we finish our workout. We all start heading to the door. “Hayden, who's watching over my sweet man?”

He chuckles, “I put him to bed before we came, I’m heading home now to make sure he’s good.” I nod.

“He’s lucky to have you. Don’t leave him; just… make sure you stay, for him.” Jace’s eyes pierce me with each word; his eyes dig deeper. I don’t mean it as a jab, but if the shoe fits.

“I won’t.” He smirks, unlocking his truck as Haley comes behind us.

“Nice workout.” She smiles up at Hayden, batting her eyes.

“Nice ass.” Hayden laughs as Haley’s jaw drops. “I mean good workout, whatever you’re doing– uhh– keep doing it.”

Haley blushes, “You too, muscles. See you at home, babe!” She blows Hayden a kiss and yells over at me, then shuts her door.

Making my way to my car, I notice Jace following me. He is relentless. “Isn’t your car over there?” I keep walking without giving him any notice.

“I’m not chasing after my car, I’m chasing you.” I turn around swiftly, making him bump into me. He’s pushing me, and testing me, and he needs to stop, because I am not strong enough, well, I am, but the ache between my legs says otherwise.

“Stop. Stop chasing me, Jace. I don’t want to be chased, and definitely not by you.” He cocks his head to the side, shooting me a cocky grin.

“I had you chasing something the other night; you were just too stubborn to let me give it to you. But you're craving it, aren't you?” He starts circling me like a predator. “Tell me, how did you taste when you licked yourself off my fingers? I’m dying to know.” I try to step forward, but he stops me, halting my steps. I look over at the truck, and Hayden is shaking his head.

I lean into him, pressing myself against him, my breath cascades down his neck, “so fucking good.” My words fall over him in a warm whisper. I use my hand to push his chest, “Hayden’s waiting, asshole.”

Chapter 26

Jace

On the way home, Hayden’s face doesn’t hide what he is thinking. “What, man? Just say it already.”

Hayden’s cocky smile doesn’t hide shit, and he knows it. “She’s a tough one, how you gonna win her over?” That is the question I’ve been asking myself every damn day, trying to find the perfect answer.

Setting my head back on the headrest, I look out the window, “I don’t know… I’m trying, I really am. I just don’t know how to reach her; it’s like every time I make progress, she retracts… She's scared. I get it. I promised her some big promises, and the next day I was gone, without a word.” Swallowing, I shake my head before turning to look at him. “She told me the shit she went through when I left, and it killed me, Hay. I’m not a soft guy, I don’t let my emotions out, but when she was breaking down in my arms, it made me realize nothing I say can fix this.”

He pulls into my driveway and turns off his truck, giving me his undivided attention. “Let’s talk through it.”

My chest feels tight, just thinking about what I want to say. Sliding my shoe back and forth on the rubber mat, Hayden waits quietly, allowing me to sort my thoughts. “I didn’t know how I felt back then; all I knew was anytime she was in the room, she was the only one I saw. At any moment we were in the same vicinity, my body pulled towards her. I know that sounds wild, but it almost felt out of my control. I had her in my arms, and she felt like she belonged, fitting into every crevice like my body was made to fit with hers. Then I left. I changed everything, I changed how people saw her and how they treated her; I changed how she saw herself, and none of it was for the better, not then anyway. Now, I’m back, and I see the way she looks at me. Sometimes I’ll catch her looking at me like she did when we were seventeen, with need and desire in her eyes, and other times she looks at me like I’m the one person she hates the most. I get it. She knew her parents would never show up; she knew their tendencies… I gave her false hope. I promised her I’d stay, and you know me, I don’t take promises lightly. Anyway, I made her a promise, and I broke it, and her heart in 24 hours.” Hayden leans back in his chair. “I’m not giving up. I did that once. She’s right, I left because I had to, but we’ve been out for years. I could have come back, and I didn’t.”

Hayden sits up in his seat, running his hand over his head, “From an outsider looking in, there is still fire in her eyes when she looks at you. Tell me one time you’ve needed something since we’ve been back that she hasn’t helped you with? You can’t. I’m not saying there aren’t going to be challenges, or that she’s going to forgive you because you're back. I’m just saying the fire is still there, light that bitch up. Show her you still care, show her it’s never gone away. Has she seen your tattoo?” My eyes grow wide, shaking my head no, “See, the problem is she thinks you left, and forgot about her. She thinks you abandoned her, as her parents did, but you didn’t. If you had come back all those years ago, you wouldn’t have been the man you are today. Would you have wanted your old self loving her, protecting her, and providing?”

“No. I was so fucking lost.”

“That’s what I’m saying, it all works out. She just needs to know you aren’t going to run again, intentionally or not.” He’s right, he’s always right, he drops me off, and I head inside to shower, hoping the water suddenly gives me a step-by-step guide to fix this.

Lying in bed, I think about what Hayden said. Fuck It.