Page 5 of End Of Never

“It’s Sam’s house; he invited me yesterday. He said, ‘I’d be the life and soul of the party.’ I am going to show him just how fun I can be.” I roll my eyes, laughing because I know she is going to do just that.

Entering the house, Haley drags me through the sea of people. The living room has a fold-out table, and a crazy game of beer pong is underway. We find our way to the kitchen, where the island is full of drinks. Haley grabs two beers out of the cooler, tossing me one. She smiles, “Bottoms up.” Looking around, we see damn near everyone from school all partaking in all kinds of extracurricular activities. Opening my beer, I follow Haley through the glass doors leading to the patio.

There’s so much going on out here, I don’t know where to look first. A long, stretched-out table holds endless red Solo cups to my right; a line of people chugging them enthusiastically, before trying to flip them. That looks interesting. Haley leads us around the pool, filled with half-dressed people all splashing and groping at each other. We make our way to the back corner of the garden, where a group of guys is sitting in a big circle.

“Hey, you made it!” The guy I assume to be Sam stands up. He’s shirtless, wearing low-rise swim trunks, and his hat is on backward. I don’t judge because I’ve been judged all my life; however, if I did, I’d say he looks like a douchebag. The guys surrounding him look up at Haley and me, each saying their hellos and letting their eyes roam our bodies freely, before continuing their puff, puff, pass exchange. I quickly look at the guys indulging in getting high and sharing germs when I notice. It’s him. The new guy sits in the back corner. Shirtless. I swallow hard, wondering how a guy his age can look that good. It should be a crime, and Ava being the one to kiss him should be illegal. When his eyes meet mine, I quickly look away, back to Sam, who now has his hand resting on the lowest part of Haley’s back, grazing the top of her ass.

“Let’s go do a game of Flippy Cup.” Haley pulls on my hand, following Sam over to the table I spotted on the patio.

As I take my position, Haley tells me the rules of the game. Standing next to me in a line are three girls and one guy. “Go!” Sam yells, excitement bursting through him, and rippling down the line of players. Only my anxiety is now on high alert, and I do my best to chug this disgustingly warm, what I assume pee would taste like, beer, and try to flip the cup. After three attempts, the cup is now finally upside down, and I move to the next one. With each cup, the beer gets warmer, but the flipping gets easier. I’m suddenly neck and neck with a girl I recognize from school; she downs her beer like the professional I believe her to be, and flips the cup on the first try. Damn it. Haley’s side of the table made it all the way through before I even got to the last cup.

Haley claps while laughing, with her now flushed cheeks. “That was a horrible game.” I laugh before moving my cups into the plastic graveyard in the middle of the table. Sam pulls Haley against his bare chest, stealing her attention; this is my chance to run, before I get roped into another horrendous game.

Making my way back to the kitchen, I find it less crowded than the patio. There are so many options spread around the island to choose from—bottles and bottles of choices. “Based on that game, and the face you made after every drink, I’d say you are not a beer girl.” I can’t help but laugh because I’d fuckin’ say so. He moves around the island with his hood up, hiding his face. “Want me to help you find something you’ll like?” His dark hair hides under his hood, but his voice registers, and I know exactly who this guy is. Ava’s grand prize. The closer he gets, the more I see the haze in his eyes; he is feeling just as good as everyone else.

“Mmmm, based on who your girlfriend is, no thanks, I wouldn’t want you to poison it.” I reach over, grabbing a new cup. He rounds the island quickly with a sexy smirk spreading across his face.

“Beer seems to cloud your judgment if you think she can make me do something.” His biceps flex as he reaches for the vodka sitting on the island. “Vodka, lemonade, can’t go wrong.” He places the bottle and the lemonade in front of me. “Watch closely; wouldn’t want to miss the poison being added.” He smirks as he pours vodka up to the first line, then fills it with lemonade to the brim. “Now, we just need to stir it.” He takes his finger, sticks it into my freshly made drink, and stirs.

“Wow, instead of poisoning it, you contaminate it. I know where your fingers have been.” He lifts the cup to me.

His grey eyes bore into mine, making me swallow at his closeness. His woodsy cologne fills the space, making my heart race. “I can bet money right now you have no idea where my fingers want to be.”

Without giving me time to respond, he walks straight to Ava, who is murdering him with her eyes. Oh, this is great. I quickly make my way to the back door, escaping certain death. Haley bumps into me, hand in hand with Sam. She leans in, kisses my cheek, whispering, “Be back soon, going upstairs.”

Stepping back onto the patio, the music still beats through the speakers, and the people who once filled the pool are now inside. Taking in the pool's stillness, I slide off my wedges and sit down, sliding my feet into the brisk water.

Taking the last sip of my strong vodka lemonade, a guy from the corner stands up, making his way towards me. “Hello, sweet thing. Wanna get out of here?” The smell of beer and weed swims off him as he squats down. Not particularly.

“I’m good, thanks though.” Looking back down at the water, I kick my foot back and forth, hoping he leaves.

“Come on, let me show you a good time? Don’t break my heart.” The people-pleasing side of me begs me to cave in, to do what is asked of me, to figure it out, like I always do. I kick the urge to the curb, but just as I go to deny him once more, a dark figure comes up behind him.

“She said no, Jeff. This feisty girl will tell you exactly what she thinks.” Looking down, I can’t help but smile. I know I came off strong with insinuating he would drug my drink and leave me for dead, but I wouldn’t put it past Ava, sooooo.

Jeff stands up and saunters back to his seat with nothing more to say. Apparently, he can’t take rejection. “Don’t let him bully his way into your pants; he’s a relentless asshole.”

I scoff, “Oh, right, and you're not?” Turning my head, I lock eyes with him, and I watch his gaze shift from my eyes to my lips as a smirk lifts.

He leans closer, resting his lips just below my ear, his warm breath hits the base of my neck, making a shiver run through me, “I would never force you to fuck me. Jeff would. The only time I will fuck you is when you're begging me to.” We sit with our feet in the pool water, stealing glances at one another, and with each stolen glance, my heart speeds up. Is he flirting with me? Every time I find his eyes on mine, my skin warms, lighting a fire deep in my stomach, a fire that burns nothing but desire. The sound of my pounding heart is interrupted by Haley shouting her way out onto the patio.

“LILLA! LILLA! LILLS, LILLS, Let’s goooooooooo,” she is swaying as she comes closer. I jump up, stopping her before she ends up in the pool.

“Ohhkkaaayy, let’s get you home.” After what feels like only moments, twenty minutes of tension and an intense gaze wrapped in silence have passed.

I stand up, looking down at the man I’m leaving alone at the pool. He intrigues me; he seems gentle in some aspects, but demanding in others. My feelings are conflicted: my mind wants to defy him, my body wants to submit. He winks and quickly stands as Ava busts through the patio door. “What the fuck are you doing sitting by that thing?”

He stands and shakes his head, “She must really have something you envy. Let it go, Ava, unless you think she’s worth it.” With that, she rolls her eyes as he takes her hand, walking her back to his corner, where she sits on his lap, never taking her eyes off me.

His words hit me like a cement truck. ‘Unless you think she’s worth it,’ does he think I’m worth it, worthy of anything good?

The night ends with Haley puking in her toilet, regretting every life choice, while I hold her hair back, I think of him, and the way he looked into my eyes like there was something in there worth searching for. What did he see? Who does he think I am behind the mask I wear? The mask of strength and resilience, at the end of the day, when I take off the mask of the top student, the volleyball player who swims in limitless credit cards, I don’t know who I am.

The rest of the year was filled with parties, schoolwork, and games. Within each, Ava remained her heinous self, ruthless in her bullying. Each party had classmates, all downing cheap vodka and beer, living and getting drunk off the supply we got from our older friends.

Then there was Jace. At every party, he found me, as did his unyielding stares and gentle touches. His eyes followed me like a predator following prey, and with each pass through the body, he stepped closer. I learned it was inevitable; he was going to catch me. I could feel it, every single time. And he did. At every party, Jace would corner me, steering me clear of the boys with their sweet talk and roaming hands. His dark slate eyes would hold mine without mercy, telling me to stay away from them, and I would listen. Because, as dangerous as his presence would be for my reputation, he felt safe, somehow. His words were fueled by cheap whiskey and dripping with possession. Each time he cornered me, his proximity surpassed his previous barrier, and the line was starting to blur.

It’s the last party of the year, and I knew he’d come for me, like he always does.