Page 8 of End Of Never

My lungs beg for air as I cover my body, scared to move. He takes a moment, running his hands through his thick hair, before turning around and walking towards me. I cover myself, embarrassed and ashamed of the mistake I’ve made. Tears run down my face, unable to stop them. He sits on the edge of the bed and shakes his head. “I’m so fucking sorry, I had no idea she would ever do anything like this. I deleted the pictures.” Jace leans down and grabs my discarded shirt and pants, “Let’s get you dressed. I’ll take you home.” I look down at his bloodied knuckles. Slowly, he grabs my chin, making my eyes meet his. “This isn’t your fault.” I can hear his words, but my thoughts are louder. He sets my shirt over my head, then stands and turns away. I slide my pants on and sit back on the bed.

“I don’t want to go out there.” My head falls, ashamed. My chest is on fire, burning with anxiety and fear. My eyes burn as heat radiates up my neck, making my once-tan skin blotchy red.

“You have to face it sometime, and now is better than later. She’s the problem, not you. You were doing a normal teenage thing; she wasn’t. What she did was evil, and no one is going to say shit with me by your side. Come on, I’m taking you home. I’m not asking.” I take his hand and follow him out of the room, where I almost gave up the only part of myself that hasn't been tainted.

Trekking through the party, I see no one, all while knowing everyone sees me. I keep my eyes locked on Jace’s back as he pulls me through the pointing and laughing people. I hear nothing but my thoughts, telling me lies that I will forever believe. It was my fault; I asked for it. I took him up there. I basically begged him. Everything plays on a loop in my mind. “Lil, look at me.” Jace is in my face, with my back pressed against his car. “Hey!” His voice is deep and demanding. “Stop. Whatever you're thinking right now, stop.” I nod, silently telling him I will, both knowing it’s a lie.

After telling him my address, the ride home felt like it would never end. Stopping at a stop sign, Jace turns towards me, “You gotta stop. You can’t beat yourself up like this; it will eat you from the inside out. Tell me something honest, Lil.” My heart races. Here he is, sitting right next to me, taking me home. The boy who runs off temptation and mystery. I have always liked the chase, but now he’s caught me. My mouth feels dry, and it’s hard to say if it's the drinks or the way he takes everything from me with those sparkling eyes and gruff voice.

I look at him with somber eyes, “You first.” He smirks at me, leaning his head back in his seat, as he lets off the brake.

“It’s not worth it. Jumping… Sorry, floating. I knew it was you I passed on the bridge. Your turn.” Just when I thought there couldn’t be any more surprises, there he was.

My pulse quickens, “I fuckin’ hate doormats with slogans on them.” It was the first thing that came to mind.

He pulls into my driveway, shutting off his car, and he turns towards me, “Go make your own slogan; what I said to you on the bridge was the truth. I wasn’t lying; I wouldn’t do that to you, and I won’t start now. I meant it when I said tonight was not your fault. I meant it when I said you were too pretty to float with sticks, and I mean it now when I say no one is going to fuck with you anymore.”

My mouth is dry, and I’m dying for some water. Finally, my heart begins to slow, but my head is still spinning like a merry-go-round. Jace jumps out, rounds the car, and opens my door. “Let’s get you inside. Should I be worried about you waking anyone up?” He asks before he opens the door.

“No, I live alone.” I watch as concern etches across his face. He opens the door, and we file in.

When we reach the kitchen, he gently sets me down on the stool at the island. He takes a quick look around, grabs a glass from the cabinet, fills it with water, and hands it to me. “Drink this.”

I down the whole glass, making him smile. His pearly white teeth shine in the kitchen light, and his grey eyes soften. “Will you take me to bed?” He laughs, his deep, sexy chuckle, sets my glass in the sink, and helps me off the stool.

“Oh, I hope you remember asking me this tomorrow,” he smirks.

We take one step at a time, up to the third floor. “I didn't need you risking your relationship to save me. But thank you.” He sits next to me on my bed, and his hand comes up, moving my bangs out of my eyes.

“You didn’t deserve what they did to you.” I can feel my body gravitating towards him. I want him; I’ve wanted him since the first year, and now he’s here in my bedroom, alone.

My breath hitches, “Why did you? I mean, you never did before.” He turns his head to the side, our eyes fighting over desire and the strength to hold off.

He pulls back my covers, “I tried every time. I pulled her away every time I was around. I thought I've been saving you this whole time.”

I start pulling my shirt over my head, and I watch him swallow hard as his Adam's apple bobs. He keeps his eyes locked on mine. “Did you mean it when you said you wanted me to beg? Or do you really think I’m not worth it?” There’s a long pause following my comment; his eyes look amused but guarded. “Tell me something honest…Why do you look at me? At every party, I see you watching me. Then you corner me, like you have some sort of claim over me.” The alcohol is firing my words without control. I want answers, I need them.

He slides my legs under my sheets before leaning over, “Because you’re you. You don’t see what I see; you intrigue me. I watch you because I want to know you. I get close because with each step, I become addicted to the way my body feels; it hums and comes alive in your presence. And you like the chase. Now I'm trying to figure out why you think you're not worthy of saving?” Easy to think, when it’s all I’ve felt. He crawls gently over me, kissing my cheek softly until he rolls over to his side, placing his body in the space next to me.

“I just want it to stop, make me forget tonight.” Jace wraps me in his arms, warming my half-naked body as it vibrates with desire and tiredness.

Resting my head on his chest, he pulls me in and whispers, “I have a feeling, I’d do anything you asked me to.”

Chapter 8

Jace

Age 18

Of all the stupid shit I’ve done, standing by and watching Ava beat Lilla down tops it off. Lilla has been on my mind for two years now. I hid in the back, watching the way she carried herself. I tried to keep Ava off her back. Looking back, I should have done more, made Ava quit her shit. One thing I know now is that there is no stopping Ava from being a bitch. It’s ingrained into her soul, running through her thick blood. Tonight she went too far; her need to break Lilla down is something I’ll never understand, but I’ll be damned if it continues.

When Lilla walked into the party, I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She’s effortlessly beautiful, a firecracker, especially when her vodka lemonades hit just right. She was a party girl when she wanted to be, and a loner when she needed to be. When she turned around, I knew it was her—the girl on the bridge, contemplating jumping. In that moment, I was done fucking around. I could no longer hide in the shadows, making small moves to keep Ava a decent fucking human. I was over it before shit hit the fan; I was going to tell Ava off. I never knew she would stoop so low, and when she did, I lost it. My rage boiled, sending my fists flying into Jeff’s face, and the worst part was that I wanted to hit Ava. Never would I hit a woman, but in that moment, I wanted to; maybe that makes me an evil man. Hell, maybe standing by watching Lilla get bullied makes me just as fucking evil as Ava.

I know I’ve done some fucked up shit; I’ve had my fair share of ladies, drugs, and over-drinking. In doing all that, I’d like to think I’m a good person, but after tonight, I’m so fucking torn. What did I do?

If you ask my dad, I’m becoming a problem. I know I need a change; the boy I am isn’t the man I want to be.

Just a block from home, I do a slow roll through the stop sign, turn onto my street, when blue and red light up the night sky behind me, and a quick siren tells me I fucked up. The time on the dash reads 2:30 am. Fuck. I pull over in front of my house, and the police officer pulls right behind me.