Page 41 of Flawless

“I’m not here because I feel guilty.” I knew I would have to stay calm, otherwise the visit would quickly spiral. She would raise her voice and I’d be asked to leave. Again. “But I am glad you’re doing better. I talked to your doctor at the hospital after you were discharged and he assured me they’ll be monitoring your condition.”

She shrugged. “Who cares anyway?” She gestured around her, to the few inmates visiting with family and friends at surrounding tables. “You call this living? This is hell, that’s what it is.”

I considered reminding her she’d put herself here, but knew that would do no good. She was determined to play the victim in her own life, rather than taking ownership and making the effort to change.

“Your handsome boyfriend dumped you yet?”

I curled my hand into a fist on the tabletop, counting backwards from ten. “No, Mama. We’re still together.”

When we’d visited her in the hospital, I told her Cam was just a friend. It was hard to believe how important he’d become to me since then.

She snorted. “Won’t be long before he finds someone better, mark my words. Guys like him don’t get mixed up with trash like us for long.”

Since her facility offered a lot of privileges maximum security prisons didn’t, she could have followed my career if she wanted to, but she clearly didn’t.

She still thought of me as the same sad, latchkey kid she’d abandoned.

She didn’t realize I’d clawed my way up in the world. Into a penthouse apartment, with a Range Rover, money in the bank, investments, a big fat contract, and zero debt.

I was a responsible, successful adult. Something she’d never aspired to be.

“He’s proud to be with me.”

The days of her reminding me of where I’d come from were over. She’d see me for who I was now or learn to keep her mouth shut.

“And I feel the same way. We’re good together.” I allowed myself a small smile of satisfaction when I said, “I’m finally learning what a healthy relationship is.”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t get used to it. It’ll never last.”

I’d never convince her that me and Cam were the real deal, and since I didn’t really care what she thought, I decided to move on to the real reason for my visit. “I met Cam’s family last weekend.”

She grunted. “I’m surprised. Thought he’d want to keep you his dirty little secret until he was done with you.”

Every chance she got, she tore me down, so this was nothing new. Surprisingly, it didn’t even hurt anymore.

“His family, they’re lovely people. Made me feel welcome, like I belonged.”

She narrowed her eyes like I was the enemy she wanted to intimidate, instead of her only child. “You will never be one of them. He probably grew up in a nice, normal, middle-class family. No criminal records. No addicts. No sordid family history.”

“Cam doesn’t think my childhood tainted me, Mama. He thinks it made me who I am, and so do I.” Before she could interrupt, I rushed on, determined to get it all out. “I used to feel like I was less than, because of the way I grew up, but I don’t feel that way anymore. I used to hate you.” I looked her in the eye and let that sink in, before I said, “But I don’t hate you anymore. I forgive you.”

“I don’t need your forgiveness,” she snapped. “The only person I hurt was myself, ending up in this god-forsaken place. You’re still free to do whatever the hell you want. Yet you make it seem like you were the victim.”

The fact that she didn’t see how her actions had impacted me wasn’t a surprise to me. She’d always believed everyone was out to get her and she was the victim.

“I’m not a victim.”

The peace washed over me, unlike anything I’d ever felt in her presence.

The tension was gone. The fear, anger, resentment. Gone.

It hadn’t happened in a split second. It had been a slow release, over the course of years, but meeting Cam and his family allowed the last vestiges of all that negativity to evaporate.

“Sure sounds like you think you are,” she muttered.

I squeezed her hand, drawing a frown from the guard and my mama. “I feel like I should be thanking you, in fact.” I laughed, feeling lighter than I had in years, maybe ever. “If not for you, I wouldn’t be me.”

“You must be on something. You’ve always been a little crazy, but this is out there, even for you.”