Page 50 of To Break the Rules

“But he just… disappeared.”

“What do you mean?” Matilda asked. People didn’t just vanish, after all.

“Simply that,” Kitty said with a shrug. “I waited for him to appear in the garden so we could be off on our adventures as usual, and he never came, so I went to his house.” Kitty took a deep breath and Matilda realised that this was something that had hurt Kitty deeply, a pain she still carried. “It was empty, as if he’d never been there at all.”

“But surely someone must have known—”

Kitty shook her head. “He lived with his aunt and uncle, and the family was English. They didn’t have much money, though you’d think them descended from royalty by the airs and graces they put on. They kept themselves to themselves and no one seemed to know or care where they’d gone. But Luke… he wasn’t like that. He loved me, and I loved him.”

Matilda hesitated. “But… would he not have written to you, Kitty, or come looking for you when he was old enough?”

Kitty shook her head. “My mother died the following year, and I went to live with my aunt and uncle. His family would never have allowed it anyway. They thought I was beneath him.”

She shot Matilda a sceptical look. “I suppose you think it’s foolish, just a silly crush. That’s what my family think, and I know we were young. He was only thirteen when he went away, and I was eleven, but it was real, Matilda. I feel it here.”

She put her hand to her heart, her eyes glittering too brightly.

“Oh, Kitty,” Matilda said, her own heart aching for the young woman. “No, I don’t think it foolish. How could I? Love is precious, wherever and whenever it comes to us, and I’m so sorry for your pain.”

Kitty let out a little huff of laughter and tried to smile. “Thank you. I haven’t spoken of him for such a long time, and sometimes… sometimes I feel like I dreamt him, like I made the whole thing up, but I didn’t, Tilda. I didn’t.”

“No, of course not.” Matilda’s voice was soothing as she put her arm about Kitty’s waist. “Have you tried to find him?”

Kitty nodded. “Yes, but I don’t have contacts who could track him down, and no one seems to want me to find him. My family never liked his either, so they won’t help.” She let out a shaky sigh. “I’m frightened I’ll never see him again, and my uncle wants me to marry soon. He’s tired of supporting me. Yet how can I fall in love with someone else when I’m still in love with him? And what if I marry, and then―” She broke off, clearly distressed.

“I see him, you know,” she said, looking mortified now. “Glimpses of him in the crowd, a flash of red hair that I think must be his. Sometimes I follow it, desperate to know if perhaps….” She trailed off, so utterly miserable that there was only one thing for it.

Matilda squeezed her tightly. “I’ll help you,” she said, smiling and feeling a surge of determination. “Nate knows everyone in London. If he’s here, he’ll be found, and….” She drew in a breath, wondering what it might cost her to ask the question, but knowing she couldn’t let Kitty down, not when her whole future was at stake. “And there’s Montagu. He’s about the most powerful man in the country. If he wants someone found, I bet they turn up quick enough.”

Kitty looked at her with wide eyes. “Montagu? Oh, no, Matilda. He’d never do that for me, and if he does it for you, you’ll be in his debt and you know he’ll be despicable about it. No. No I couldn’t let you, but if you could ask Nate, that would be wonderful.”

“Very well,” Matilda said smiling. “Nate first, and we’ll keep everything crossed that he can find something out.”

Matilda felt a surge of pleasure at the renewed hope and cheerfulness in Kitty’s eyes. It was worth almost anything, she thought, to help her friends find their happy ever after.

Kitty hugged her, almost squeezing the breath from her lungs. “You are the best, best friend anyone could ever have, Matilda. We are all so lucky to have you.”

Flushing with the compliment, Matilda thought her heart might burst with affection, not only for Kitty, but for Lucia and Alice and Prue and all the Peculiar Ladies. Somehow, their happiness had become as important as her own. Perhaps more so, as she held out so little hope for her future.

“Now,” Kitty said, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “What about Mr Burton?”

“What about Mr Burton?” Matilda replied tartly, though she was smiling, knowing exactly what Kitty was about.

“He’s very handsome.”

“Yes,” Matilda agreed. “He is, and intelligent, witty, kind, and let’s not forget… terribly rich.”

“Ooooh,” Kitty breathed, looking thrilled. “So, you do like him?”

Matilda thought about this for a moment. “I do,” she agreed, nodding.

“So, what now?”

“Whatever do you mean?” Matilda said, laughing, though of course, she knew full well.

“Are you going to let him court you? Do you think you could marry him?”

Matilda took a deep breath, a little unsettled by the question, despite it being one she’d asked herself several times. “I don’t know,” she said, with complete honesty. “Perhaps, but it’s too early to say. I shall get to know him better, though,” she said, gaining a squeal of excitement from Kitty. “But I make no promises, so don’t go planning a wedding just yet.”