Page 35 of A Daring Desire

After that soul-shattering kiss and the comments that had followed, Cat had not known what to do other than flee. She had been shaken to her foundation. Everything she had ever wanted, ever suspected, had been revealed in that kiss. Passion, tenderness, and the care for her of which she had always believed him capable had been hers. She had opened the last guarded corners of her heart to him and let him in, hiding nothing, her desire and her need for him on blatant display, and then he had crushed her with a few mocking words, his legendary cruelty on display. He had known just how to cut her to the quick, to illustrate how he’d been merely toying with her, showing her exactly why so many lovers had gone to him despite knowing the danger they played with.

Not knowing where to go, for her bedroom adjoined the private sitting room and was too close to his taunting presence, she had fled to the library, a place she had always found comfort when she was at her lowest point. Standing now before the fire, she hugged her arms about herself, trembling and cold despite the heat that blazed before her. She felt chilled to her bones, to her soul, her heart cast into some frozen wasteland.

“Fool,” she whispered, trying to breathe, though her lungs felt stiff and unresponsive and all she could manage was short little gasps.

A knock at the door had her turning, her heart leaping, but Jefferies appeared, his face soft with concern. He had seen her then, running down the stairs. She did her best to put up her chin, to smile.

“Yes, Jefferies, what is it?”

“Mr Bancroft is here, my lady. Shall I…?”

“Yes,” she said at once. “Yes.”

Perry came in with his usual bright smile, a prettily wrapped parcel in his hand. He took one look at her face and closed the door, setting the parcel down. All trace of the smile vanished.

“What’s happened?”

“Oh, P-Perry,” she managed, before the tears that had been building in her chest burst out in an agonised sound like some wounded animal. Her knees gave out, but before she could sink to the carpet, Perry was there, lifting her up, hauling her into a tight embrace.

“Oh, love. Oh, my pet, whatever has happened?”

But Cat could not speak, could do nothing but sob her heart out against Perry’s chest as he tried to soothe her. There was no soothing a hurt of this magnitude though, no easing the pain of so many poor decisions and wasted years. Catherine wept until she was wrung out and desolate, standing in Perry’s embrace, her face wet with tears and her breath sawing in and out as if she’d run for miles.

The door opened and only Perry jumped in shock, Cat too numb with misery to react, until she saw Kilbane in the doorway. His face was white as he looked upon Perry, his violet eyes blazing with an unearthly light.

“Take your hands off my wife,” he said, his voice clipped and precise.

“What, so you can break her a bit more?” Perry flung back at him, and with more courage than she would have believed possible. “You damned swine, what did you do to her?”

To her surprise, Kilbane flinched at the accusation, but he regarded Perry with all the power of his rank and superior build, his eyes flashing dangerously.

“That is none of your affair. Now let her go and get out.”

The words were growled more than spoken as her husband moved purposely into the room, looking as if he wished to tear Perry’s head off and intended nothing less.

“I’ll go when Cat tells me to,” Perry snarled, holding her tighter.

Kilbane’s gaze moved to Cat and his furious expression softened, something like regret in his eyes. Cat stiffened, the idea that he should pity her worse than anything.

“Catherine,” he said, holding his hand out to her. “I would talk to you, please.”

She shrank from him, shaking her head. “You’ve said everything you need to, my lord,” she said, her voice quavering. “Indeed, you’ve been eloquent from the start.”

“I don’t think I have,” he replied, and she could not interpret his tone, but she knew she could endure nothing more from him. Not today.

“I do.” Her voice was firm and somehow, she found some remnant of the mask she showed the world and pulled herself together. Her face might be blotched and her eyes red from her hysterical outburst, but he would not see her break down in front of him. “Perry, be so good as to have the carriage brought around.”

Perry looked at her, his expression assessing, and then he gave a sharp nod. “You’ll be all right if I leave you?”

“Perfectly.”

Perry scowled at Kilbane, glaring at him as he went.

Cat turned back to the fire, staring down into the flames rather than look into the eyes of the man she had wanted for so many years and who had steadfastly refused her overtures even of friendship. Her own friends were all happily married, they had families of their own and were celebrating together at this very moment, and here she was, still alone, still putting him first when he did not want her or need her.

“Where are you going?” he asked and, though she knew she must be misguided in believing it, she thought he sounded shaken.

“Home.”