Page 86 of The Trip of a Lifetime

‘Lovely to meet you,’ I said. ‘It is honestly wonderful to meet you.’

‘Shall I get us some food?’ Erin asked me and I looked at her. She seemed quiet and a bit twitchy. The woman was called Clare, that explained a lot.

‘I’ll have what she’s having,’ I said with a smile, hoping to let her know with one glance it was all going to be okay. ‘And an orange juice, please.’

I sat down opposite Clare and really took her in. Firstly, she looked nothing like my daughter. My Clare had been blonde and this woman had brown hair with golden flecks through it. They might be a similar age, though. I wondered if it might be a sign, and then I tried to shut down that line of thought. Erin didn’t need to be distracted at this point in the race. Or maybe it was exactly what she needed, I honestly no longer knew.

‘Tell me all about this race,’ Clare said, and then got back to her eggs.

So, I told her. I started back in Madrid where we had first competed and then brought her up to date with this race. I found myself telling her all about Harrison and the misunderstanding, and how I went into this race with a flush of revenge in my blood, but how I had softened as I got to know him again. I didn’t go into details about how well I had got to know him again. Then Erin returned with our breakfast and I asked Clare a bit about herself while we ate.

‘I’m divorced and have two kids,’ she started, and then stopped and shook her head. ‘Why do I always start with that? It’s like I’m putting him before myself like I always did when we were married. I’ll start again. I’m Clare and I work in an elementary school in Charlottetown on Prince Edward Island. I have two grown-up kids who I adore and I have to assume they feel the same about me.’

She laughed then and it lit up her face. She was someone I knew I could be friends with.

‘I know the rules,’ she continued. ‘You give them life; they don’t owe you anything.’

I nodded; it was true.

‘And what takes you to St John’s?’ Erin asked, and I was so glad she had found her voice.

‘I’m travelling to visit my mother. She’s not been too well and I’m going to stay with her for a while. The school have been great about giving me leave to do that. So, it’s lovely that you’re both doing this race together. How are you finding it, Erin? Your grandmother seems like she’s a steely woman. Does she have you on your toes?’

‘Oh God, yes – yes, she does.’

‘Erin has been brilliant,’ I said. ‘She such an easy person to be around and a great race partner.’

We finished our food and then had to move ourselves to get our things and head to the car deck to load up Clare’s boot. Erin was chatting with her quite animatedly and it was lovely to see her so open. It was the name, it had to be the name. I tried a couple of times to drop my Clare into the conversation but it never seemed to be the right moment. I’d find my time. It felt important to have her there with us as we travelled with her namesake.

Clare’s car was near the front of the ship. She told us she’d got to North Sydney early so she could be first on and then first off, so we were on our way quickly. Noah joined me on the back seat and Erin chose to sit in the front with Clare.

‘I’m starting to feel nervous again,’ Erin said. ‘If it comes to a running race at the end, I don’t think we’ll win. We’re just not as strong as some of the others. And we don’t know where those others are, either. They might have made better choices.’

‘Try not to be nervous,’ said Clare. ‘The trick is just to concentrate on your breathing and focus on your plan, never on what others are doing. That will just derail you.’

‘That’s interesting,’ Erin said, and I watched as her shoulders seemed to sink down a little from where she’d been holding them tightly around her ears.

This was actually really good advice from Clare. She seemed like such a grounded person. Probably from teaching young people. Noah looked up from his camera and smiled at me. It made me smile too. It was like a look parents might share if a child had done well.

‘Also, if it does come to a running race at the end, then I have another pearl of wisdom,’ Clare said.

‘Oh?’ said Erin. ‘What is it?’

‘I’d find somewhere to dump those big bags.’

That had us all chuckling but it died out fairly quickly as we were closing in on St John’s.

And then she was stopping the car and we were getting out, gathering our bags from the boot. Clare was wishing us well, she had everything crossed for us, she told us. Both Erin and I thanked her for her generosity and I felt suddenly desperate for her not to go. I didn’t tell her about my Clare. I had to tell her about my Clare. But she was gone.

38

ERIN

Both Erin and Martha watched Clare drive away and it was as if a lifeline had been severed. Even as Erin thought it, she knew it to be ridiculous. They’d only just met the woman. Yes, she happened to share a name with Erin’s mother but that was it. Erin gulped and then took a long breath in, followed by an even longer breath out. She would be just fine; she just needed to remember what Clare had told her.

Then the tracker went off in Erin’s bag and she scrambled for it.

Welcome to St John’s and the finish line. By any means possible, get to Cape Spear Lighthouse