Page 66 of Topped

“Were you trying to sneak up on me?” I asked with a chuckle as he wiped his boots on the mat and pushed his hat off his face, shaking himself off like an exuberant cocker spaniel. Water droplets clung to every inch of him, because Christmas in Heather Bay meant grey skies, a freezing wind off the sea, and endless amounts of rain. I still liked it though, especially the way the Christmas lights reflected in the puddles, slightly distorted in a soft, dreamy way that made the whole world feel almost magical.

“I would if the door didn’t give me away every time.”

“You’re welcome to put some WD-40 on it if you want.”

“I think I’ve got some in a cupboard somewhere, I’ll bring it next time I remember.” He walked through to me, stopping just short so he didn’t cover me or the counter in water. “How’s it going? Ready to go?”

I laughed softly. “I’m ready to go whether everything’s done or not! Although luckily we have packed everything. Now all we have to do is get through the collection window tomorrow. Norman’s threatening to bring a whistle to keep people in line… and a stick… and possibly a sheepdog, if he can find one at short notice. I know he’s joking but I wouldn’t put it past him.”

“I mean, I’m not a sheepdog but I’ll happily come and help keep people in line.”

“I can’t ask you to do that, it’s Christmas Eve.”

“Of course you can,” he said, looking utterly baffled that’d I’d suggest otherwise.

“But… you have plans. You and Alfie are meeting up.”

“Yeah, in the afternoon for a couple of hours. Besides, this is what you do for the people you love, you help them.”

I stared at him, mouth falling open, a strangled croaking noise the only thing coming out of my throat.

Milo frowned, his face slightly screwed up as he tilted his head to the side. He looked at me for a long minute, the pair of us staring at each other in some sort of strange stalemate. “I’ve told you I love you, right? I could’ve sworn I had. I’ve been saying it in my head for weeks.”

“N-No,” I said slowly. “That’s the first time.”

“Fuck me, all right.” He grinned and closed the gap between us, putting his hand on my chest. Right over my heart. “Better say it properly then.”

“Okay,” I whispered, sure he could feel my heart racing under his palm. My whole body felt like a livewire lost in a sea of emotion. I could barely breathe, and my eyes were trained on his face, desperate not to miss a thing he said.

“I love you, Rupert. Have done for a long time, now. And maybe I always did, even when I wanted to pretend I didn’t like you. You fascinate me, and I don’t mean it in a weird way, but, like, I want to be around you all the time so I can learn everything about you, see the things you love and love them too. Because there’s nothing you can do that I won’t love. I’ll love you even when you’re sick and snotty and throwing up everywhere.”

I pulled a face and Milo laughed.

“Yeah, even then. ’Cos it will happen. And I’ll love you when you’re tired and grumpy or when your brain weasels are extra mean and make you think I don’t love you. On those days, I’ll love you even harder so you know I’m not going anywhere.”

“You’re going to make me cry again,” I said hoarsely, my eyes prickling with tears.

“You can cry, sweetheart,” he said, gently reaching out to brush his thumb across my cheek, just below the rim of my glasses. “Cry, laugh, sneeze. Whatever you want. I’ll love you whatever you do.”

“I love you too. God, I love you so much,” I said, overwhelmed laughter bursting out of me as I rested my forehead against his. “I didn’t think it was possible to feel this way about anyone, but I do. You are the most wonderful, stubborn, infuriating, perfect man I’ve ever met, and I love you more than anything.”

My eyes stung with unshed tears as Milo drew me in for a kiss, his lips cold but soft, somehow tasting of summer days and winter nights all at once. He was sweetness and spice. Sharp, stubborn, and gentle. Contrary and completely human. A man who embraced all the parts of life.

A man who saw me for who I was and loved all of it, even the parts I wanted to hide.

How lucky I was to be loved by him.

We may have started off at odds with each other, but that seemed so far away now it almost didn’t feel real. Milo was right though. I think I’d loved him from the start too, in a way. In him, my heart had seen a kindred spirit, but I hadn’t allowed myself to recognise it.

All I’d seen were his flaws, and my fears had easily convinced me nothing good would come from being around him, so I’d pushed him away.

But now here we were, seven months later with feelings so completely opposite. I almost felt like Elizabeth Bennett. Only my Mr. Darcy had a penchant for neon-nineties fashion and a deep-seated desire to befriend seagulls.

“We should celebrate when we get back to yours,” Milo said, murmuring the words against my lips.

“Mmm we should. Any suggestions?”

“Well, I brought some more ice cream… and I’m wearing a plug, so…”