Page 68 of The Twilight Garden

‘I was scared you wouldn’t want me back,’ replied Gemma, pulling away to turn to Rowan. He held his arms wide.

‘I’ve been the biggest idiot.’ His voice was full of emotion. ‘I should have said something, anything to make you stay, but…’ His face took on a pained expression. ‘My head was so full of noise, I couldn’t get the words out. But the thought of you not being here… We’re in a mess, things are broken, damaged and hanging by a thread, but your leaving left a bigger hole than anything the cows have done. It’s right that you’re back with us.’

And it was. It was exactly how Gemma was feeling. Her life had felt like it was free-falling over the last couple of days, but here she was on solid ground. It was a good place to sink her roots.

She glanced back towards her car, still blocking the road, her door wide open. ‘I should…’

‘Yes, yes, come in… Let’s get you settled.’

The three of them moved back so that Gemma could manoeuvre her way along the track, bumping and jolting with each and every pothole.

There was another surprise waiting for her as Willow pushed open the kitchen door. With an excited ‘woof’, Mulligan bounded through the doorway, launching himself at Leo. His welcome was ecstatic, but two seconds later he spotted Gemma and, body wiggling like crazy, he switched his attention to her, barely able to contain his excitement. But he did, and she was reminded yet again how thoughtful Leo had shown himself to be. She dropped to her knees and hugged the dog tight, even submitting to the polite ‘kiss’ which he couldn’t resist giving her. She had missed him, she realised. His was another solid and reassuring presence, just like his master’s.

‘I’ve made a big breakfast,’ said Willow, eyes sparkling. ‘I wasn’t sure if you would have eaten.’

‘Will there be toast, and Rowan’s marmalade?’

‘There will, and croissants, apple butter… cinnamon buns, the biggest pot of coffee and a few early strawberries, too. Whatever you like.’

‘Then I’m starving.’ She glanced at the clock on the wall. It wasn’t even ten o’clock, yet it felt as if it ought to be the middle of the afternoon. She smiled. There was time doing its weird thing again.

Rowan tried to apologise for the second time as soon as they were settled around the table, but Gemma shook her head. ‘Please, no recriminations. What happened was a horrible thing. A horrible thing and a terrible shock. We’re human, we react instinctively, and I’m as guilty as anyone of doing that.’

‘We were angry, Gemma, angry and scared. But we shouldn’t have let you go.’

‘But I was the one who brought Ashley to the farm.’ She picked up the jar of marmalade and helped herself to another golden spoonful. ‘So, no more talk of blame or what’s happened in the past. We have a big job ahead of us, and that’s where we need to focus all our energy. Tell me where we’re at with everything.’

‘Okay, well, the only good bit of news is that the farmer who owns the cows is going to make good the track for us. He’s coming up this afternoon with various bits of machinery, some materials and a couple of his lads who he says will get the job done. It’s not helping with the most crucial aspect of our problem necessarily, but even though the track wasn’t in the best of condition before, we simply don’t have the money to get it repaired. So that’s one less thing to worry about.’

Gemma nodded. Given where her thoughts about the farm had travelled to, that was excellent news. ‘I should imagine the farmer was pretty keen to make amends.’

‘He was, and just as angry as we are about the whole thing. He’s got to sort out the damage that was done to his place, too, and like us, he doesn’t have a big heap of cash just lying around. He’s offered to help where he can though.’

‘You said that’s the only bit of good news. Is the rest as bad as you feared?’

‘It isn’t just the loss to this year’s crops,’ said Willow. ‘But the knock-on effect that has for next year. We don’t just lose the food we plan on eating straight away, we also lose the surplus we were planning to sell. A surplus which will pay for next year’s seeds and plants. Without that, the cycle ends.’

Gemma nodded. It was a stark reality.

‘About that,’ she said. ‘When I originally came here, it was to help you with the farm, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. So the garden, lovely though it could be, is not a priority, and I don’t think it ever should be. It’s a drain on resources for no real return, and I got so caught up in the excitement of its discovery, I lost sight of that, and I’m sorry.’

Rowan raised his eyebrows. ‘I thought you said no recriminations?’ He shot a look at Willow, smiling gently. ‘Plus, now might be a good time to tell you that one of the things which Willow and I did yesterday evening was to sit down and think about what we wanted Thistledown to be.’

Willow leaned forward. ‘Do you remember after we had the break-in that I said to you how experience has taught Rowan and I that we’ll always have enough? Even if we have to redefine what our definition of enough is? So that’s what we’ve been doing. Because the wonderful thing about enough is that it’s such a simple word and yet it’s imbued with extraordinary power. We are enough. We have enough. Say those things and it cuts through both the legacies of the past and any anxiety you’re feeling about the future. It grounds you. It makes you think only in the present. There’s a peace in that, but there’s also incredible freedom…

‘We want a life here which is the very best it can be, so it is about what we do here, but, just as importantly, it’s also about how that makes us feel. We still need to grow our own produce, but maybe we don’t need to sell as much of it as we thought. And if that’s the case then it doesn’t become about growing as much as we can, but instead about how many other things we choose to spend our time on. And the garden is absolutely one of those. Who wouldn’t want a thing of such beauty?’ She grinned. ‘It’s non-negotiable, Gemma. It’s staying.’

‘Willow’s right when she talked about legacies of the past,’ said Rowan. ‘But we can still honour its traditions by making them a part of our present. I like to think that Flora and Edmund would approve of that. Would approve of everything we try to do here.’ He gave his wife a warm smile. ‘Now all we need is the blueprint for how we do that moving forward. That, and the small matter of what we do about our more immediate problem, of course.’

Gemma’s thoughts were racing. She had all but discounted her dream of restoring the garden, but now… There was still so much to do. Would they ever be able to realise it all? The philosophy behind the ideas she had for the future of the farm was sound, but it was a gamble – she had no clue whether anyone would even be interested. Willow and Rowan were still looking at her, waiting…

She glanced at Leo, who was sitting back in his chair, mug in hand, looking as if he didn’t have a care in the world.

Catching her look, he smiled. ‘I know you’ve got an idea up your sleeve, Gem, you always do.’ He raised his eyebrows. ‘But please tell me you have, because I’ve waxed lyrical about your problem-solving abilities.’

‘At length I might add,’ said Willow, smirking slightly.

Gemma swallowed a mouthful of coffee. ‘I do have an idea, as it happens. Although I’m not sure you’re going to like it…’