Page 72 of Trick Play

Stupid fate forced us together in my final weeks here for a reason. It was a chance for both of us to get closure. To let go and move on.

It was also a chance to reconnect and get to know each other as the adults we were becoming.

It was whatever I wanted to make of the situation.

I couldn’t let things end the way they were now. Not after what we’d been through lately. I wouldn’t throw away the progress, the tepid friendship that was forming, just because he made a mistake. That didn’t sound like growth.

Kennedy: I have classes until 4

Ethan: Meet you at the cafe after

This might’ve been a terrible mistake. Was talking to him after his first appointment really a good idea? What if all the hurt and pain from his past was brought up, and he was in another bad headspace? I didn’t want to be his punching bag again.

I took in a steadying breath, then opened the door to the café, and glanced around. Ethan waved to me from the corner, a black beanie pulled low as if that could disguise his hulking form.

“I got you a caramel latte.” He looked at the table where three cups were waiting. Two in mugs and one with ice.

“Which one is mine?” I asked.

“Whatever one you want. I wasn’t sure if you only drank them cold, or if you liked them hot as the weather changed.”

That was very thoughtful of him. “I prefer them iced. Thank you.”

The corner of his lips tipped up, but the tiny smile disappeared as quickly as it appeared. “There’s so much I need to apologize for, Kenny. I can’t believe you would even agree to see me after everything I’ve done. Not just yesterday, but in the years we’ve known each other. I’ve been terrible to you. There’s so much I was wrong about. So much I need to make right.”

I reached over and took his hand. It was instinct. One that hadn’t happened in years.

We stared at our interlaced fingers. He squeezed once before pulling back and cupping his mug. I slowly sat back and waited for him to continue as I sensed there was a lot on his mind he needed to get out on his own time.

One hand rubbed at the scruff on his jaw. “One hour with Dr. Jared, and I’m a complete mess. My brain feels scrambled, and I can’t find my words.”

“Take your time.” I lifted my drink to my lips, but it was flavorless.

“I’m sorry for thinking it was you. I don’t know why I jumped to that conclusion. I think …” He frowned. “I think I’ve been expecting you to get back at me in one way or another since the breakup. I deserved it.”

I opened my mouth, but he continued.

“I know you wouldn’t do that, though. It's not who you are. You don’t hold grudges. Coach slipped and said she when he was talking to me, so I knew it was a woman that turned me in. I couldn't imagine Haley doing that, and you’re the only other woman I talk to.”

That was a strange confession. I’d believed the rumors he was a player and assumed he had several girls ready and waiting for his call. I didn’t think about that since we’d been working together. I’d been living in a bubble that consisted of only us. My heart shouldn’t race over that.

His expression changed, and I knew whatever he was about to say next wasn’t good, but it was too late. I was too vulnerable. Too exposed. My armor wasn’t in place, and I was about to feel the full force of what was coming.

Chapter 24

Ethan

I had to get the words out. As soon as it was done, I’d be able to breathe again. I couldn’t look at her face or I’d break.

“I think I wanted to believe it. It would be easier.” I rolled my lips between my teeth. “If I could be mad at you, then I wouldn’t have to face losing you.”

She moved and the chair scraped against the ground, pulling my attention to her, but she was staring at her cup.

“I realized today while talking to Dr. Jared that I slipped back into old habits with you. I started relying on you without even realizing it. You’re so familiar and safe that I confided in you. I put my burdens on you without giving you the chance to pull back. It’s not healthy, and it’s certainly not what you deserve.”

Her lips formed a thin white line. It was the only indication that she was listening.

“I was using you, without meaning to, and I can’t let that continue to happen. In a few weeks, I found myself needing you. I never realized how much I missed you in my life, and the second you gave me an inch, I forced myself back in. I can’t do that to you. Not again. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to try to convince you to give me another chance. To forgive me for all I’ve done and let me be part of your life. These past few weeks were some of the best I’ve had in years. I know I made a mistake freshman year, and that mistake cost me.” I cleared my throat. “I lost so much time with you, but it cost you more. I’m not good at thinking about how my actions affect other people, but I’m going to work on that.”