Page 55 of He Hate Me

“No,” she says, her voice barely audible “I just need to get checked and start birth control.”

I feel a little queasy. Until that moment I hadn’t even thought about birth control. The last thing Brandon and I need is to get pregnant. Can you imagine me explaining to my parents that the “troubled kid” they let move in with us got me pregnant?

“How did you make the appointment?” I ask.

“Online. Why?”

“I need to make one, too. What time is yours?”

She tells me the location and time and I navigate to the website on my phone. The bell rings and she heads off to class, thanking me one more time. There are way too many screens, but finally I get to the page where I can choose a slot.

“Ms. Marcus,” a stern voice says, “please proceed to class.” It’s one of the vice-principals, a woman in her fifties who always gives me the impression of being someone who would have fit in back in the days when teachers used to hit kids. I conceal my phone behind my books and close my locker, giving her an apologetic smile. She nods, satisfied, as I rush down the hall towards my next class. Once I’m sure she can’t see me, I pause long enough to confirm the appointment. I feel a slight sense of relief, but I’ll be much better once I’ve been to the clinic.

I race over to the library as soon as the bell rings and start running up the stairs before my body reminds me to take it easy. It’s already a lot better than it was this morning, though. I get to the last study room at the end of the Classics row and Brandon opens the door like he was standing right there watching for me.

As soon as I’m inside he traps me against the wall and kisses me like we’ve been apart for a century. I melt into Brandon’s kiss, momentarily forgetting everything else. His hands slide down my sides and grip my hips, pressing me harder against the wall. A familiar heat pools in my core as his tongue explores my mouth. Our breaths mingle, hot and urgent, my heart pounding with excitement. His erection is thick against my hip. I feel an answering pulse between my legs. He captures my wrists, holding them at my sides while he kisses my neck and grinds into me.

“I want you so much,” he whispers, his voice raspy. “This is insane.”

I look at his flushed face, and I can only agree with him. Sex has changed things between us, made it more intense and our desire for each other more difficult to resist. It’s hard to remember that we’re basically in a public place with a viewing window, when all I want to do is feel him inside me again. I tug on my wrists, and he lets me go, raking his hand through his hair and pacing to the far wall and back. I sit at the table, and after a moment, so does he. He licks his lips, adjusting himself. His laptop is open, a detail I hadn’t noticed until now.

“I’ll meet you at your car as soon as school is out,” he says, his knee bouncing.

“I can’t. I have to go to the clinic.”

“No!”

“We didn’t use protection last night.” I voice is colored with chagrin.

Brandon buries his face in his hands and groans. “How could I forget about that? I have condoms like three feet from where we had sex. I’m sorry. I don’t know where my brain was.”

“Why do you have condoms?” I cross my arms below my breasts.

“Because I figured, or more like I hoped we’d have sex soon. I wanted to be prepared.”

“So it’s not because there’s, like…” I can’t finish the sentence. Why would I expect him to not have sex with other people? We’ve never had that conversation and he’s made me no promises. He’s a horny teenager and an athlete, not to mention hot. Those blue eyes alone are panty melters, and that’s before you take in his lips and that sinful black hair. There are probably a dozen girls in his phone he can call for sex whenever he wants.

“There’s no one else,” he says, “not since the first time I touched you.”

“What about Mackenzie?”

“That was me being a dick. I needed a tutor, and I knew you told her to stay away from me. I wanted to make you mad. But nothing ever happened between us. We never even kissed.”

“For real?”

“For real. And can you call me after you’re done at the clinic? Let me know how it went?”

“I can text,” I offer. I don’t know if Shelby and I will be carpooling, and I don’t want him to know that she’s going with me. It’s a pretty private thing, and Shelby and Brandon aren’t friends. “So just for the record, can we agree no other people.”

“No other people,” he confirmed. “We are officially exclusive.”

“Cool.” I glance at my watch and note that we’ve used up a lot of our time without talking about what we're supposed to be talking about.

“Can I borrow your laptop?” I ask, and he nods.

I position the screen so that we can both see it. A search for St. Joseph’s College brings up an institution in Indiana. Like my mom said, it’s no longer accredited, but I know immediately that she’s lying about my dad going there.

“My dad didn’t go here,” I tell Brandon. “She lied.”