Page 48 of Shattered Hearts

“Yeah, call him, but after your appointment,” Macie reminds me.

I nod and open my calendar. The appointment with the midwife is at three today. If it takes an hour, and then there’s half an hour driving back, that leaves me a bit of time before Ashwood Afterhours picks up with dinner…

Macie cuts off my trail of thought, “Are you silently calculating your time again?”

“Maybe.” I mumble, feeling my cheeks heat. She snickers, and my head tilts. “I like planning out my day. Don’t look at me like that.”

“I wasn’t. I just find it funny you’re so organised, and yet…”

My hand touches my stomach that has definitely gained a bit of weight, but I smile. It might have been a surprise, but I’m still excited for this next chapter of my life.

I’m just unsure how I’ll go being a single mum, but I’m going to try my absolute best.

My skin involuntarily shivers as I lay down on the uncomfortable table. The paper sheet crunches every time I wriggle, and as much as I try to stay quiet, my body doesn’t seem to want to listen. Pulse thundering, I stare up at the many posters covering the walls of the room. Information on the labour process, various injections, the female anatomy, and many other things to do with pregnancy that I didn’t really know before.

Like why the heck does your water break? Well, lucky for me, there’s a poster explaining just that.

And it goes into very vivid detail. Yikes.

Fingers drumming uncomfortably on the side of the table, my knee jiggles.

Mum rests her hand on it, slowing the movement. “It’s going to be fine, Laynie girl.”

“I know,” I try to say with confidence, but the waver in my tone says otherwise. “Just nervous.”

Sadie gives me a small smile.

Mum nods. “Understandable. I was too when I was pregnant, but it’s just to check on the baby and you.”

“And we’ll be right here,” Sadie adds enthusiastically as she grips my hand tighter.

Before I can thank them, the midwife pops her head inside the room, gracing me with a smile that doesn’t match my jitteriness. “Hi, Laynie,” she says, deep lips curving as she closes the door behind her. I don’t miss the tattoo on her wrist of a cross, and the corner of my mouth kicks up. Short brown hair pulled into a short ponytail, slanted dark eyes and tanned skin. She’s quite beautiful—tall and willowy. “I’m Fiona. It’s nice to meet you and…” A faint Asian accent laces through her words.

“Umm, my mum and cousin,” I utter, throat tight.

Mum reaches over and shakes her hand. “Violet and Sadie. Thanks for letting us be here.”

“Of course. We try to make this as comfortable for the mother as possible. It’s usually easier that way,” Fiona explains, smiling as she takes her seat. “How are you feeling today?”

“I'm a little nervous. I don’t really know why. I’m also excited,” I rush out before I can get my thoughts in order.

Fiona smiles, prepping the machine. “Not to worry. I think everyone feels that way for their first ultrasound, but this is just to check that the baby is developing properly.”

Sadie’s fingers grip mine harder, and I look up at her as the machine makes a beeping sound. Eyes darting across, I realise it’s only the sound of it turning on. The flash of excitement ebbs, although my anxiety doesn’t seem to strain away with it. In fact, I think it only amps up.

Fiona grabs the device wrapped in plastic from the holder. Squirting some more gel on the end—and yes, it makes the goopiest, sloppiest sound you can think of—she places it on my abdomen. I flinch from the coldness, and she gives me a lopsided grin.

Who knew the gel they used would be so cold?

“All right, let's meet this little nugget,” she says, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t break my nerves.

I feel sweat on the back of my neck, and I want nothing more than to rub at it, but then I see the screen. It’s greyscale and a little fuzzy, but I can make out my stomach and some other organs. She keeps moving the probe further down, wriggling the stick for a good few minutes before settling on the small plum sized silhouette. My heart flares with thrilled fretfulness. Cheeks flushing bright pink, I stare at the screen. Fiona smiles brighter. “There it is.”

I don’t feel the pressure of the device, the goopy gel, nor hear the machines beeping. I don’t even think I’m breathing because right now. I’m staring at the tiny baby inside of me. It’s so small and delicate, and I don’t care about what Scott says, I’m going to protect this little thing with my life.

“Laylay…” Sadie breathes out next to me. Inching over, she half sits on the table, staring in awe at the screen.