Page 102 of This is Me

What if Leroy wasn’t the reason for what had happened?

My head pounded as each question bounced around it, and I let out an audible groan, which Leroy seemed to take as the answer to his question.

Taking a deep breath, he shuffled a little closer to me and timidly put his hand on my shoulder, before shifting from off his knee and sat cross-legged beside me. A shudder ran through my body at his touch, which caused me a bit of pain, but I did my best to take no notice of it.

I would have given anything to have had Leroy by my side at the beginning of all this, back when I had first come out. To have him sit beside me and just be there. To show me everything was going to be okay.

Now, I didn’t know what I wanted.

I had spent the past month being angry at him, and for shrugging off all of the excuses Andy and Blaire fed me. Even getting mad at them. I had spent the last month thinking I had done the right thing by cutting him out. By letting him go. But now, sitting here with him beside me—where I had always wanted him—I think I made the wrong choice.

“Peter?” Cooper’s soft voice came from the far end of the toilets, and I tilted my head to look at him.

“Yeah?” I croaked out, feeling a sharp aching in my jaw as I spoke.

“Do you need a hand?” Cooper asked, and his eyes flicked to Leroy before resting back on me.

I was thankful that he had asked, even if I wasn’t going to take him up on the offer. I figured it was time Leroy and I spoke to each other.

Fighting off the throbbing in my head, I shook it.

“Are you okay?” I asked, still doing my best to ignore the aching.

“It should have been me,” Cooper muttered in a small, weak voice, stepping away from the wall.

“No, Cooper. As far as I’m concerned, I did the right thing, and those punches were meant for me.”

“I don’t think I could thank you enough for standing up for me.”

“You don’t need to. It’s what friends do.”

Giving me a small nod, Cooper’s eyes continued to flick to Leroy, until he took in a sharp breath.

“I’ll, uh, I’ll be just outside if you need me,” Cooper said with a small smile, moving past Leroy and me.

As Cooper reached the door, the bell signalling the end of lunch rang, and he looked back at me. Giving him a small nod, Cooper turned away and left the bathroom, leaving me alone with Leroy. Hoping that the agony throughout my body would soon die down a little, I finally turned to face Leroy again and saw that he was already looking at me with tears in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Pete. For everything.”

Leroy’s voice trembled with every word, and he quickly looked away from me to wipe his eyes. It was odd seeing someone who had just broken someone else’s nose become so vulnerable so quickly.

My mind was going wild at the moment, thinking about everything that was unfolding as well as what had been happening over the past month. I had spent those weeks being angry at Leroy, and yet, here I was feeling sorry for him. Fighting the urge to hug him.

He seemed so broken and lost. I had caught glimpses of him in the hallways and in class, but I hadn’t noticed any of this. I hadn’t cared to notice. Or listen to what Andy and Blaire had been saying. Maybe this was what they were trying to tell me.

I wanted to be angry at him. But I couldn’t.

“You don’t need to be.”

The words fell from my mouth before I had time to think about them, and I immediately shook my head, causing pain to rush through it.

“I didn’t mean that,” I muttered, steadying myself and keeping my eyes on Leroy, who finally looked back at me.

“I know,” he whispered, and I felt him shuffle a little closer to me.

I made the motion to move away, though I didn’t have the strength to do so. Instead, I let my body stay limp next to Leroy, and soon our knees were touching, and he stopped moving closer.

Skin on skin contact. One of the things that got us into this situation in the first place.