Page 105 of This is Me

Auditioning For The Role

This bumbling idiot. This absolute, cataclysmic dumbass.

How, in all of the holy fucks, did Leroy not know I was gay? It wasn’t like, recently, I had been trying to hide it. I made a fucking video. I could only imagine the types of things Andy had been trying to say to Leroy over the past month.

‘Pete’s gay, Leroy.’

‘Our sophisticated dumpling is just like you!’

‘Don’t let his bad fashion sense fool you. Peter is also gay.’

But this wallaby. This unbelievably attractive boy sitting in front of me, gaping at the words I had just spoken—who was supposed to be a straight-A student—hadn’t fucking listening.

Then again, I hadn’t listened either. But I’m a known idiot. Leroy is not. From the evidence laid out in front of me, if there were a gay agenda, we would all be too stupid to put it into motion.

“No. What? No. That’s—no,” Leroy began to mumble, repeating the same words over and over, and started jigging his leg.

His knee gently scraped up and down against my own, and I watched as he seemingly questioned everything he knew and everything that he had done. Much like I was doing.

I had done nothing but feel anger and a bit of hatred for Leroy over this last month, all because I thought he turned his back on me because I was gay. Because he didn’t accept who I was. I thought he hated me for who I was.

I mean, I know I’m an idiot, but I’ve never been this wrong about something in all my life.

And Andy. The annoyance and anger I had shot his way because of the excuses and explanations he had tried to give me about Leroy, all for nothing. The pit I had in my stomach grew even more significant at the thought of distance I had put between us. Between all of my friends. Even Blaire.

Yes, Blaire and I still had our time together, but since I’d pushed Leroy and Andy away, she had been doing her best to split her time between all of us. Most of the time, it had meant spending less time with me.

At least that had pushed me closer to Cooper.

“I don’t understand,” Leroy muttered, and I couldn’t stop myself from letting out a small laugh.

This, of course, caused pain I had almost forgotten about to slither through my entire body again and my jaw to begin throbbing.

“We’re both fucking idiots,” I said, gently touching my jaw, flinching as I did so.

That was going to be one hell of a bruise.

“When? How?” Leroy asked in a low whisper, still trying to grasp the concept of what I had said.

“The day after the afternoon at your house—”

“After I nearly kissed you.”

“Roy, I had no idea you were leaning in. I thought I was the only one,” I said slowly, trying to lessen the aching in my jaw.

“You—what!” Leroy’s leg stopped bouncing, and I saw him grip his bloodied fist, wincing as he did so.

“I… I thought you noticed I was leaning in. That your dad saw. And then I thought you told Andy. Then Andy rang me and said everything was fine, and to not worry. I thought you knew. Everything.”

Leroy continued to stare at me as I spoke, and I was starting to think he had forgotten how to blink until he finally did and shook his head.

“I had no idea. My dad was yelling because—”

“I can guess, you don’t need to say it,” I said quickly, cutting him off, and he nodded.

“Thanks. But you leaning in… does that mean…”

Leroy trailed off and wiped his eyes again—tears no longer falling from them—before cradling his hand again. He didn’t have to finish the question for me to know what he was going to ask. Well, I could guess.