Page 120 of This is Me

“I don’t—”

“I told Grace,” Leroy said definitely, and my stomach swirled. “You were right. It wasn’t fair.”

“What did she say?” I asked stupidly, shaking my head at the words as they came out of my mouth.

“Not much.”

“What if she tells others?”

“I don’t care. I wasn’t lying when I said that.”

“Leroy…” His name was all I was able to say, as we both stood together, listening to the faint sound of music coming from the hall.

“This sounds like a slow song,” Leroy muttered, and I felt his free arm slither around my back, and he carefully pulled me closer. “Can I have this dance?”

“I’d be an idiot to say no,” I said with a chuckle and closed the small space that was left between us.

We were now standing chest-to-chest. Both of us had one arm wrapped around each other, while our other hand was still intertwined. This wasn’t how I’d imagined my first dance with Leroy to be, but I couldn’t complain. The music was almost non-existent for us in the field, but the sky was clear, and the stars were bright, and the warmth of Leroy’s body fought off the cold night air with ease.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Leroy muttered in my ear as I rested my chin on his shoulder.

“Don’t be. It wasn’t my place. I’m sorry I was an asshole” I whispered back, moving my arm up his back. As I did, I felt Leroy tense up and shift uncomfortably. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. Just, be gentle.” Leroy chuckled, and I moved my hands back down to where they were. “And I think we were both assholes.”

The soft music continued to play, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t straining to hear it. Leroy didn’t seem to be having too much of a problem though, as he led our gentle swaying. With what I could hear of the music, we seemed to be in time.

“No. It’s not your fault, Roy,” I whispered, closing my eyes.

“No, it is. I knew what I was doing, and I knew it was wrong. I was just in a delusional world, thinking everything would be okay if I just played along with what other people wanted from me. I thought I could carry on without getting any more bruises.”

Leroy’s voice faltered as the final words came out of his mouth, and he let go of my hand and wrapped his arm around my back, somehow managing to pull us closer together.

“How many?” I asked in a low whisper.

“Too many.”

“How many tonight?”

Leroy took a moment of silence before he answered, and we stopped our swaying, the faint sound of music still making its way to our ears.

“I’m sorry. You don’t have to,” I mumbled, feeling like an insensitive idiot for asking.

“I will tell you more. But… can we just enjoy this moment?” Leroy asked, and I nodded into his shoulder.

“I’m sorry about last night.”

“Pete, what did I just say?” Leroy chuckled.

“Sorry.”

“Stop apologising.”

“Sorry—” I started but stopped myself, cleaning my throat.

I felt Leroy snicker again, his body vibrating against mine, and I smiled. As much as I was concerned that this would all fade away, I couldn’t help but ignore the worry. This was where I wanted to be. Even if it felt as though it wouldn’t last.

“So, I guess with everything that’s happened. I can safely say that you really don’t like-like Blaire,” Leroy whispered into my ear, and I could feel him holding back a laugh.