Page 71 of This is Me

Facing my parents would come. Soon.

Slowly building up courage, I lifted myself from the booth and began walking back through The Coffee House. It felt weird not having to pay for anything, and as I passed the counter, I glanced at Sam, who gave me a gentle smile and wave. I did my best to return them before walking out the exit.

I was soon in my car and pulling out onto the road. Thinking of what to do, I decided it was best to stay at Blaire’s for one more night—if she would let me. Thinking that I should get some clean clothes, I started heading toward my own house, knowing that my parents wouldn’t be home. That way, I would have plenty of time to get what I needed, as well as brush my teeth, which I badly needed to do.

It wasn’t long before I was pulling into my home’s driveway and killing my car’s engine. As I sat staring up at the house, I could feel my stomach twisting and squirming and my heart beating out of sync and feeling as though it was making its way up to my throat.

I had no idea why. I wasn’t going to be seeing my parents, so why the hell was I worrying?

Though, as I sat in my car, looking up at the house, I could see the silhouettes of people walking around—three of them.

If I thought my stomach couldn’t twist itself up even more, I was wrong. Looking toward the front door and trying to force myself to get out and walk to it, I started feeling faint, and it seemed my heart wasn’t doing its job correctly. I could feel it beating. Fast. But it sure didn’t feel like any blood was getting to my head.

Thinking quickly, I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and shot a message off to Bradly, asking if he could bring me some clean clothes and my toothbrush outside. All I got back was a thumbs-up emoji, and I nodded to myself and waited in silence, hoping that my parents didn’t see my car in the driveway and come out.

Thinking that I should ask Blaire if I could stay another night, I opened her contact and called her, hoping that she would answer. Hoping she forgave me.

“Pete!” Blaire’s voice was filled with concern, but a flicker of comfort ran through my body as it graced my ears.

“Blaire… can… could I stay with you another night?” I asked, my voice timid and low as if I was trying not to scare her off.

“Of course!” She answered immediately, and I could hear the sound of her feet slapping against the ground. “I’m in P.E., but God knows I don’t want to be here. You can come pick me up.”

“I just need to get some things. And you don’t have to skip school for me,” I tried to convince her, though I knew she wouldn’t listen to me.

“I’ll be waiting out the front! See you soon!” With that, Blaire hung up the phone, probably trying not to get caught by the teacher.

Smiling in the silence, I waited for Brad. Ten minutes later, he was knocking on my window, holding up a small plastic bag. Shooting me a smile, Brad opened up my door and dropped the bag in my lap.

“So, are you coming home soon?” He asked, leaning on my door.

“Yeah, yeah,” I mumbled, wishing I had the guts to never leave in the first place. “Just a few things I need to sort out and deal with.”

“Did you go to school?” He asked, and I could hear in his voice that he cared. “At all?”

“Yeah, but, uh—”

“Don’t care about the detail, Shit Brain,” Brad said, tapping the window. “What about your friends?”

“That’s what I need to sort out.”

“Do I need to kick someone’s ass?”

“So caring, Brad.”

“I’m serious,” Brad said, and I watched him scan my face as if he were looking for bruises.

“I’m fine. It’s fine,” I said quickly, moving the bag off my lap and into the passenger seat.

“Alright, well, let me know.” Brad looked away from me and turned toward the house. “You know, they don’t care.”

“Do you know how terrified I am?” I asked quietly. “Especially after today. After I know what some people are still like when it comes to people like me.”

“Pete—”

“I am so scared that mum and dad will be some of those people. Yeah, I may be blowing everything out of proportion, but I cannot stop thinking about it. I can’t get it out of my head.”

“Okay, okay,” Brad said, looking at the ground. “Just do what you think is right.”