Page 81 of This is Me

For the first time since the video had been online, since I had officially been out as gay, I felt like someone truly understood how I felt. Someone finally saw me for who I was, and I didn’t want the moment to end. I wanted to stay in Jordan’s warm embrace and let the weight that had been sitting on my shoulders for as long as I could remember be lifted and turned into nothing.

Jordan had given me something that I had been looking for. Something I hadn’t been able to find since I first realised what I was. Jordan had given me hope. Hope that things would get better. Hope that I could be who I was born to be. And hope that no matter what, someone would be there to catch me if I fell. If I could stay in that moment forever, I would. But I knew it had to end.

“This was meant to be a happy moment.” Jordan chuckled as he pulled away from me and wiped his eyes.

As he did, I felt the warmth of his body dissipate and be replaced with a feeling of emptiness.

“It was.” I smiled, wiping my own eyes and trying to shrug away the cold feeling that I was left with after the hug.

“I just wanted you to know that I know what it’s like. And I’m going to be here for you. Braden, too. We’ll have to set up a meeting,” Jordan said, smiling at me before looking at the small watch on his wrist.

“God, I’ve been crying so much lately. I could start my own water company,” I joked, lying back on Jordan’s bed.

Letting out a chuckle, Jordan did the opposite and lifted himself to his feet.

“I know the feeling, but now there isn’t any more crying. Blaire’s been looking in on us every so often, so I think you should head back to her.”

“She has?” I asked, looking out Jordan’s bedroom door and into the hallway.

“Yeah.” Jordan chuckled, watching me get to my feet. “Though, I think she’s now playing a computer game with the three dumbasses.”

“Good to know. Thank you, Jordan. For—”

“You don’t need to thank me. Just… be you. And, please, make sure to see that kid who came out. It'd be good if you had each other’s back.”

Giving Jordan a nod, I turned away from him and walked out of his room, shooting him one last glance before walking down the small hall where I saw Blaire stick her head out one of the rooms. A broad grin was on her face as she slipped into the hall and handed me back my phone.

“You good?” she asked, and I nodded.

“Yeah. I am.” And for the first time in a long time, I actually meant it.