Page 83 of This is Me

“Can the question wait until homeroom? Because we’re going to be late,” I said, and Andy scoffed.

“I can walk and talk. Come.” And moved beside me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, walking me through a door and into the school hall.

“You know, I can walk with no assistance,” I mentioned to Andy, who tightened his grip.

“Let me be helpful,” Andy said, steering me into our homeroom that was already filling with other students. “So, the question. Can we go back to normal this afternoon?”

“What do you mean?” I asked, feeling my stomach begin to twirl again, threatening to put itself into a knot that wouldn’t come undone.

“You know, like, you driving me home and then in the mornings pick me up and do our regular thing.”

“What about Leroy?” I asked through almost gritted teeth.

“He’s fine. He can find his own way until he comes around,” Andy said, giving me a sympathetic look, though I turned my attention to the front of the classroom as the teacher walked in.

“No,” I said after a few moments, listening to the teacher start roll call.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, no. We’re not going back to normal.”

I stole a glance at Andy, who was looking at me dumbfounded and sad, and I regretted my words, but I needed to stick to them.

“What? Why!” Andy asked louder than he should have, causing the teacher to stop and look at us, along with a few other students in the class.

“I guess I can go and mark you two off as being here,” Mr DeJulius said, and I felt my face heat up. “Don’t interrupt me.”

Andy and I quickly nodded, and fell silent, waiting until our teacher continued the roll call.

“Look, Andy, as much as I want things to go back to normal, that just isn’t going to happen,” I said when Mr DeJulius started speaking again. “Leroy made his decision.”

“Pete, listen—”

“No, Andy. It’s fine. It’s—I knew that there were going to be people like that.”

“He isn’t like that—”

“Andy, it’s fine,” I whispered harshly, trying to keep my temper in check as I thought of Leroy.

It may not have been fair how I was handling the situation with Leroy, but I didn’t care. He turned his back on me, and he walked away. I understood that he was going through a lot, but that didn’t excuse what he did. That didn’t make it better, or right.

I wasn’t casting him out of my life, and God knows I wouldn’t be casting him out of my thoughts, but I didn’t need to wait for him. I didn’t want to wait for him to come back around—if he ever did. I wanted to move on. I needed to.

With or without Leroy as a friend.

“Can you just listen,” Andy insisted, and I took a deep breath.

I would rather not listen. I didn’t want to talk about Leroy anymore. And besides, if there was an excuse, a reasonable one, why didn’t Leroy tell me himself? Why didn’t he talk to me?

“I don’t want to, Andy,” I said firmly, and I heard Andy sigh.

“This isn’t like you, Pete.”

“What isn’t?”

“Not caring. Or willing to listen. You’ve always tried to understand everyone else’s situation. Why can’t you do that for Leroy?”

I pondered Andy’s words for a second, and there was a ring of truth in them. I had always tried to know the whole story before making a judgement, but this was different. This was my best friend turning his back on me for what? Everything I had been told and that I knew didn’t give me a reason for it.