Page 84 of This is Me

He didn’t know that I was going to kiss him, so it couldn’t be that. And before I came out as gay, I was told his father’s words wouldn’t affect our friendship. That nothing would change. But it did. I uploaded the video, and he turned away.

What more did I need to know?

“I know the situation,” I muttered as the bell rang, signalling the first period, and everyone in homeroom began moving to leave the class.

“Pete—”

“Just stop,” I snapped, grabbing my bag and standing up. “I’ve made my decision. Things aren’t going back to normal, and you should stay with Leroy. He is going through a lot, and he could use a friend.”

“You could be that friend,” Andy said softly, standing up beside me and we both began to walk out of the classroom.

“If he wants me, he knows where I am.”

With a pang of guilt ricocheting around my body, I continued into the hallway and made my way to my first class, walking in the opposite direction of Andy.

*

“Just go and sit with them.”

“Pete, it’s fine.”

“Blaire, I swear to God.”

Mine and Blaire’s harsh whispers fought in the air between us as we stood on the field, looking over at Andy and Leroy sitting together. I knew that Blaire wanted to go and sit with them, though she didn’t want to leave me alone, which was sweet, but unnecessary.

I had been fine all day, which I had spent by myself, apart from a few moments in between classes with Blaire and Andy. I had been planning on trying to find Trent but hadn’t had any time, though now I should have plenty.

“Okay, okay. Fine. I’ll go,” Blaire muttered, throwing her hands up in surrender.

“I’ll be fine. I’m going to find Trent, so I won’t eat alone. Just… Leroy probably needs you more than I do.”

“You still like him, don’t you?” Blaire asked as both our eyes landed on Leroy.

His head was resting on his arms that were folded on the table. He had been like that since we had walked outside, and Andy had been beside him the whole time, bent over close to him, looking as though he was whispering to him.

Yes. I did still like him. Of course, I did. As a friend and more. I couldn’t get over him that quickly. I could still see all the little mannerisms I fell for clearly in my mind. Each little laugh and how he rustled his own hair when he was nervous. My heart still fluttered at the thought of him and his smile.

I couldn’t forget those. I didn’t want to, but at the same time, I wish that I could stop thinking about them. About him.

“Yeah,” I said quietly and looked away from him, toward the ground. “Go. I’ll talk to you later.”

Keeping my eyes down, I felt Blaire’s hand on my back for a second before I felt her move away, and glancing up, I saw her walking toward Andy and Leroy.

Taking a deep breath and fighting against every fibre in my body not to follow her over there, I scanned the rest of the field, trying to find Trent. However, before I was able to locate him, another hand rested on my back, and I jumped at the touch, spinning around to see who it was.

“Oh, my fuck. Sorry,” a small voice met my ears, and my eyes rested on someone the same height as me.

Their dark brown hair was shaved at both sides, only leaving the top long, and it hung partly in front of their face, which they made a move to push it away. Their light browns eyes were filled with kindness along with surprise after I had startled them.

“No, I’m sorry. Just kinda scared me,” I said with a soft laugh, placing my hand on heart, feeling it thumping under my palm.

“Which is why I’m sorry. I’m Luc—fuck. Cooper. I’m Cooper.”

“I’m glad you clarified. Because Luc—fuck Cooper is an odd name.”

Cooper let out a small laugh, and I saw their face get redder.

“I’m… uh, still getting used to introducing myself as Cooper.”