Page 118 of For I Have Sinned

She has become my salvation.

Loving Celine is consuming. She possesses my mind, body, and soul. Every single part of me belongs to her, and that terrifies me a bit.

I want to give her everything I have, which I never thought I’d get to a point in my life where I want to dedicate myself to a woman. I was content with where I was, being a priest and devoting my time and energy to God. But then Celine waltzed into the convent and threw my entire world off its axis, making me change my mind about everything I thought I knew I wanted.

But I guess that’s what happens when the right person comes along.

I slide my eyes from Suzanne to Celine, who is standing there with a fake smile plastered on her face and her hands clasped in front of her. She is already putting on quite a show, because although I know the happiness on her face is fake, I know her mother thinks it’s real.

“How is she doing?” her mother asks me quietly.

My focus finds Suzanne again, and I clear my throat. “Great. She has been showing a lot of improvement.”

Suzanne nods slowly, looks at her daughter, and begins her walk towards her. Celine doesn’t say anything until her mother stops before her. They exchange soft hellos, and then her mother enters the room for the visit.

Celine glances at me and rolls her eyes, and her head gestures towards Father Keaton’s office, and she mouths, “Good luck.”

Not wanting to keep her mother waiting, Celine disappears into the office used for visits and shuts the door.

Inhaling a deep breath, I spin on my heel and step in front of Father Keaton’s door, where my knuckles meet the wood in two knocks. I hear him tell me to come in, and when I reach for the doorknob, I blow out the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding in.

Father Keaton is sitting at his desk, his finger scrolling on the touchpad of his laptop. His gaze leaves the screen and looks to where I’m standing. With even breaths, he pushes the computer to the side and motions for me to sit.

“I wasn’t expecting you this early,” he states.

I take a seat, and with a clipped tone, I say, “I wanted to get it over with.”

“Okay, then,” he says, resting his elbows on the surface of the desk. “Look, I’m not sure what you think you heard coming from my office, but I can promise you that it wasn’t what you thought.”

“Really?” I narrow my eyes at him.

“Yes.” His fingers clasp together, and he sets his chin on the top of his hands. “I had a lapse of willpower. As a man, you know that sometimes we yearn for something physical.”

“Right, but the promises we made⁠—”

“Sometimes with that lapse, promises break.” He sighs, shutting his eyes. “I watched a video, one video, to help ease that need, and after I was disgusted with myself.”

I bite the inside of my cheek to stop the noise of disbelief that wants to leave me. Someone needs to get this guy an Oscar for his award-winning performance. I could sit here, listen to him continue to say things that are untrue, but I’ve had enough of it.

“You are really going to continue lying, aren’t you?”

“And you’re really going to believe what she tells you?” Father Keaton drops his hands to the desk. “After years of you being here, devoting your life to God, and trusting me to help guide you, you’re going to throw all that out because of her deceitfulness?”

“Celine may be a lot of things, but she is not a liar.” I grit my teeth. She has lied before, but none of the things that she lied about were as bad as his dishonesty. “She may be the only honest person in this entire convent.”

“That’s a stretch,” Father Keaton laughs. “She doesn’t even believe in God.”

My teeth grind together harshly, and I inhale a deep breath through my nose. “I’m aware. But even though she doesn’t believe in God, she still is a better person than most of the people in here. Including myself.”

“Is that why you slept with her?” he asks casually. “Because you saw her as some Holy beacon of light?”

Alright, so we are putting it all out there.

Got it.

“I slept with her because it was a moment of weakness, and then I kept wanting more.”

“She has fooled you, Alexander.”