Page 24 of For I Have Sinned

“You don’t think I will be capable of that if I am friends with Esther?”

“I think Joanna and Bekah would help you stay on the right path.”

“Right.” I laugh. “No offense, but I don’t think you have the authority to tell me who I should be friends with? Do you?”

His jaw ticks. “It was only a suggestion.”

“Well, thank you, Father Alexander, for your kind suggestion. I’m afraid I will have to decline and make my own choices, whether they are good or not.”

Another tick in his jaw. “Very well.”

“Now, if you excuse me, I am going to leave since I’m not supposed to be here.” I spin on my heels, my back now facing him, but I don’t move. Instead, I peek over my shoulder. “Do you need to walk with me, or am I free to wander around on my own?”

He looks at me for a moment and then gestures for me to move forward. “Lead the way.”

Chapter 10

Celine

I hear a light knock on the door, and for a moment, I forget where I am. I groan, and with a raspy, groggy voice, I call out, “Go away. I’m sleeping.”

Sister Alice’s voice responds, “Celine, it is time for your visit with your parents.”

It only takes a few seconds for her words to sink in, bringing me back to reality, and jerking me out of bed.

“I—uh—just one second!” I holler, frantically getting dressed.

I begin apologizing profusely as she waits patiently behind the door. I pull my hair into a low, slicked-back bun. Well, as slick as I can manage with the brush they provided me.

As I follow behind Sister Alice, I try talking myself out of blowing up at my parents. There are so many things I want to say. But I know throwing a tantrum won’t get me out of here any faster. I have to behave.

And even though I absolutely hate this idea and would much rather yell at them for everything they’ve put me through, I can’t. My parents are my only ticket out.

There is an office in the main hallway that the convent uses for meetings, which is where Sister Alice brings me. When we arrive at the office, I am surprised to find an empty room. She gestures for me to take a seat in one of the chairs.

When I sit, I turn around to find that she has already me alone. I sit in silence, anxiously waiting for my parents to get here.

This may be the only time I’ve been the first one to show up at a meeting with them. I never thought I’d see the day that I’d be the one waiting for them to arrive. Which I am not a big fan of so far, considering the silence is causing my mind to fill with intrusive thoughts again.

Footsteps sound in the hall, soft voices greet each other, and they carry on with the small chitchat as they approach the room. I inhale a deep breath, clearing my mind of all the anger and erasing the attitude from my face.

My mother walks into the room. Just my mother. I guess I’m not surprised my father isn’t here, given his work schedule, but that doesn’t stop the words from rolling off my tongue.

“Dad didn’t want to take the time off to see me?”

“He’s a busy man, Celine.” She huffs, setting her purse on the desk, and takes a seat. “How are you?”

I hold back the annoyed laugh that wants to escape me because she never asks how I’m doing. But seeing as this is something that she forced me into, something that is in her own interest, I guess she cares now.

“Fine,” I respond nonchalantly.

“Fine? That’s all I get?”

“What do you want me to say? Thank you, and that God is my best friend now?” My breathing has become heavier, and I try my best to regulate it. It seems that I am not listening to the little pep talk I gave myself this morning. I need to tone it down. With a soft, controlled exhale, I keep my voice calm when I say, “I’ve only been here for four days. I’m doing fine.”

“Hmm,” she hums in disapproval. “I see the attitude is still there.”

I clench my teeth together. Breathe, Celine. “As I said, it’s only been four days.”