Page 25 of For I Have Sinned

“How are the courses you are taking?”

“Riveting.” I deadpan.

“Celine, you need to take this seriously!”

“I’m trying.”

“Well, maybe next week you’ll have a change in perspective and attitude.” She pushes the chair back and stands up, grabbing her purse.

“You’re leaving?” I don’t know why it pisses me off that she’s only staying for a few minutes. I didn’t even want her to come in the first place. Maybe I’m mad because I wanted to be the one to cut this visit short.

“I have things to do, Celine. I’ll be back the same time next week.”

She’s out of the door before I can say a word. Slumping back into my seat, I rub my eyes hard with the tips of my fingers. A headache is forming, and the sudden knock on the door doesn’t help.

“Are you ready?” Sister Alice’s voice makes me stop massaging my eyes.

“Yeah.” I stand from the seat and follow her to the classroom.

I spaced out the entire lesson. Are we surprised? Esther told me to sit next to her, which earned a weary eye from Joanna. I think she wanted me to sit behind her, just as I do in the other classes.

As I dissociate from the lesson, I watch Esther draw in her notebook. She’s very talented, though the images she draws would probably call for an exorcist if anyone saw them. But I think they are intriguing.

The one she is working on now depicts a woman weeping blood. I only know this because she used a red pen to color in the tears. The woman’s mouth is open, screaming in agony from whatever pain she is enduring. It doesn’t go unnoticed by me that the woman she is sketching has the same color and length of hair as her own.

The entire time, I discreetly watch as she adds more details to the page. Thankfully, the lesson ends a bit earlier, and Esther shuts her notebook as the others stand to leave.

Joanna stands there, giving me a warm smile, then glances over at Esther and gives her a death glare. None of us exchanges words, and then Joanna walks out of the room, with Bekah following close behind.

My eyes find Esther, who is sitting there with a smirk.

“What?”

“Your BFF seems mad that you didn’t sit by her.” She giggles.

“She’ll get over it.” I roll my eyes. “Want to get something to eat?”

“Sure,” she says.

“You’re a great artist,” I praise her drawings as we walk into the hall.

“Thanks.” Her cheeks have grown pink. “I never let anyone see the things my mind creates because they are strange and probably would have me admitted to a psych hospital.”

I let out a small laugh. “Probably, but they are cool and different. Most artists stick to creating what everyone else wants to see. You create what you want, and I think that’s what makes a real artist.”

Her lips twist as she fights a smile, but she doesn’t say anything else as we walk into the dining hall. There is a small line to get food, and my eyes find Joanna and Bekah already sitting at the table.

“How mad would she be if we sat somewhere else?” I gesture towards Joanna.

“She’d probably make it rain hellfire,” Esther jokes.

“And if we skipped lunch altogether?” I ask, glancing at Esther.

Right on cue, her stomach growls. “As much as I would like to, because I don’t want to deal with her, if I don’t feed myself, I’ll regret it.”

We get in line for our food, and I stay quiet as I replay the visit with my mother and plan how I’ll need to behave at the next one.

I don’t know what to do with my free time in this place, so I wandered around the halls. I found myself in places where I might not be welcome, but no one saw me because everyone was too busy doing their own thing.