Page 27 of For I Have Sinned

He stares at me for a moment before asking, “Is there something you’d like to talk about, Celine?”

“What do you mean?”

“Usually, I listen to all of the struggles and confessions from the women here. If there is something you need to get off your chest, you would come to me.”

“You want me to make a confession?”

“Only if you have one you need to make.” He tucks his free hand into the pockets of his black slacks. “If you do, we can set up a time for you to come to the confessional booth.”

“Okay,” I agree, even if I don’t know what I’ll confess yet.

A breeze blows through the courtyard, making the trees rustle and pulling my attention away from him. I get a sudden shiver, and I can feel my nipples harden.

When my head turns back to meet Father Alexander’s eyes, they aren’t where they are supposed to be. He still notices when my attention is back on him, but his eyes don’t move to look at mine. Instead, he whips his head to the side, his body becoming tense.

“Go back to your room, Celine,” he orders again.

His head may be turned away from me, but I can still see the uncomfortable look on his face and the way his jaw tenses as he fights whatever battle is going on inside his head.

Even though he isn’t looking my way, I offer him a soft smile. “Goodnight, Father Alexander.”

He doesn’t acknowledge what I say; he doesn’t even reply. Which only verifies what I thought; he stared at my breasts, not once, but twice. And not on accident either.

From what I understand, it’s considered a sin to feed into temptation, especially when you’re a priest.

As I spin around to walk away, another swift breeze passes by. The wind pulls at my nightgown, tightening the see-through material around my body. Growing curious, I glance over my shoulder.

And what do you know? His eyes are not turned away from me anymore.

He says he’s a priest, a man of God. A man who made a vow to resist temptation, but the way his eyes are wandering across my body right now, well, could’ve fooled me.

I take my focus off him and let him enjoy the view as I disappear into the hallway. A wide grin spreads across my face as I feel both flattered and amused by the amount of hypocrisy that took place tonight.

And under the Big Guy’s own roof.

Chapter 11

Father Alexander

Celine walks through the exit of the courtyard, her nightgown blowing behind her. The way the fabric is floating, she appears as a ghost roaming the church halls.

But that damn nightgown… It left nothing to the imagination, and I hate that I looked when I wasn’t supposed to. I will have to pay for that act.

I put the cigarette out by scratching it on the brick beneath my feet, tuck the butt into my pocket, and head back to my room. I hope she doesn’t tell anyone about me smoking. It was a moment of weakness. I haven’t had a cigarette since I was in New York.

Once I get into my bedroom, I make sure the smell doesn’t linger by heading straight for my bathroom, tossing what’s left of the cigarette in the toilet, and flushing it away. Stalking back into my bedroom, I inhale a deep breath from the anticipation of what I’m about to do.

At the end of my bed is a chest. An object that I try to stay away from because of what is inside. I don’t typically resort to this because it has been a while since anything has led me to take this action. But, after tonight, I don’t have a choice.

Lifting the lid, I pull out the rope I need and take it over to the other side of my bed—the handle of the discipline whip points towards me as I spread out the seven woven sisal ropes.

Kneeling before the bed, my fingers fumble over each button of my shirt. Once each one is unfastened, I shrug the material off my body and let it fall to the floor. I lift my hand, swallowing hard when I grip the handle because I know the pain I’m about to endure.

I hate doing this, but it is the only thing that helps. I associate the pain with the sin, and over time, when I think of the sin I want to commit, I remember how the ropes felt against my back. I grind my teeth together and think of the sin that has brought on this punishment.

Celine.

Her nightgown was tight around her body, and her nipples were hardened, visible through the thin fabric. I think about how I wanted to wrap my mouth around⁠—