Page 26 of For I Have Sinned

Once I got bored and felt another headache starting to form, I found the way back to my room to lie down. After having lunch with Esther, wandering the church, and returning to my room, the sun has now set.

I’m not sure how long I dozed off for, but I didn’t make it down in time for dinner, which means Sister Alice came looking for me. Since my headache is still in full force, I asked if I can eat in my room. She doesn’t give me any trouble with my request and agrees.

I eat what she brought and decide to settle in for the night. Changing out of my dress and bra, I slip on the white nightgown and make my way to the communal bathroom. I’ve been trying to go whenever the others are at dinner or sleeping, because I don’t want to run into any of them and be forced to socialize.

After brushing my teeth and hair, I shut myself in my room and go to the window. The only good thing about this place is the courtyard, and I have a nice view from my room. Esther might be another good thing, given that she hates being here as much as I do.

Speaking of, I see Esther walking in the courtyard. Even though it is dark, the moon shines enough light for me to know it’s her. She looks around, making sure no one is watching, and then I see a small flame ignite. She holds it up to her mouth, something burning red in her hands.

A cigarette.

I get the confirmation when I see the puff of smoke float into the air. How the hell did she smuggle in cigarettes? I watch her take another hit when a motion catches my attention as a figure walks into the courtyard. They step more into the light of the moon, and I realize it’s Father Alexander.

Esther notices him shortly after I do, and when she spins around, she hides the cigarette behind her back. He says something, and she shakes her head, but then he holds out his hand. I see her shoulders drop in defeat, and she hands over the lit cigarette.

Esther turns to leave, but pauses when he says something else. She slowly turns back around and hands him what appears to be the lighter she was using.

My eyes follow her as she leaves the courtyard, and once I can no longer see her, I pivot my attention back toward where she just left. Father Alexander stays behind, not following her back into the convent. He watches her to make sure she actually goes back inside like she’s supposed to.

He combs a hand through his hair before glancing around. When he doesn’t see anyone, he tucks himself into a spot behind a tree and ignites the flame from the lighter he confiscated from her.

A smirk forms at my lips, and before I know it, I’m leaving my bedroom and walking through the hall quietly. Down the stairs and around the corner, I enter the courtyard and sneak up on him.

He’s exhaling some smoke when I say, “Never in my life have I seen a priest smoke.”

His fearful eyes find mine, and he quickly moves his hand behind his back to hide the cigarette. “What are you doing out here? It’s past curfew.”

“My room is right there.” I point to the window. “I was watching you bust Esther for breaking the rules again.”

His eyes leave mine to look up at the window. “So you decided to break the rules as well?”

I shrug, “I was hoping I could have taken a hit of that.”

“You’re not allowed to smoke.”

“And I bet you aren’t allowed to either.” I grin with my hands on my hips.

Father Alexander’s eyes lower to the nightgown I’m wearing, his stare lingering on my breast for a split second.

He clears his throat, diverting his gaze to the doorway to our right. “You should go back to your room.”

“Why? It’s a beautiful night. Some fresh air will do good to clear my mind.”

“You could have opened your window to get fresh air,” he suggests.

“It doesn’t open.”

“It doesn’t?”

I shake my head. “I’ve tried, but it’s stuck or something.”

He glances up at my window. “We can get it fixed for you.”

“So that I don’t come out here and break curfew again?” I tease.

Father Alexander’s eyes meet mine. “That way you don’t feel trapped in your room.”

“Yeah, because being trapped in the convent is torture enough,” I mutter.