Page 53 of For I Have Sinned

And it did.

I got my life back on track after being stuck at rock bottom for two years. My mother and I rekindled our relationship, and I have led a peaceful life for the past four years. Now that peaceful life is anything but with Celine here. She’s a temptation, a sin waiting to be committed.

Now it’s just a waiting game to see when I cave and sin with her.

Chapter 19

Celine

Father Alexander’s heartbreaking story of his father dying replays in my mind as I sit across from my mother. The pained expression on his face matched the ache in his voice, and it made me want to crumble.

It made me want to get out of my seat and wrap my arms around him in comfort, but I held back because if someone had walked by and seen us embracing, I’m sure there would have been an uproar.

I couldn’t imagine losing someone I was close to.

The thought of Vince or Amelia dying makes my chest physically hurt. My heart splinters at the thought of either one of them leaving this Earth early. They are my safe space and my whole world. Without them, I’m not sure how I would survive.

My eyes flick to my mother, who is going on and on about something I’m sure is important, but I have the notion of the people I love dying at the front of my brain. Alex was close to his parents, calling them his best friends, which makes me wonder: if something were to happen to my parents, would I be as distraught as he was?

I don’t have the same kind of relationship with my parents that Father Alexander had with his. If they ever died, I would be sad, but I don’t get that same sensation in my chest as I do when I think about my best friends dying.

“Celine!” My mother’s loud voice breaks through my daze, shoving the dark thoughts away.

“What?” I focus my eyes on her.

“Did you hear a word I said?” The aggravated tone I despise so much is heavy on her tongue.

“No.” There is no point in lying because she will see right through it.

“Of course not.” A look of pure disdain crosses her face. “Were you half asleep when you dressed yourself this morning?”

“No?” My brows draw together as I glance at the dress covering my body before looking back to her. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

She scoffs. “You aren’t wearing a bra.”

My eyes drop to my chest and make a noise of realization. That’s right. I didn’t put on a bra.

“The wire digs into my skin. I needed a break.”

“Celine Faith!” She gasps in surprise. “You are in a church! You cannot walk around indecently.”

“I’m not.” I lift the skirt of my dress and wave it around. “I’m wearing clothes.”

“That is almost see-through!” she points out.

I glance down again, and sure enough, you can slightly see my nipples. I knew it was slightly transparent, but I didn’t realize it was so sheer that you could see nearly every detail of my body. Odd choice for a dress supposed to be worn in a convent.

Even though my mother is fuming at the sight of me, I couldn’t care less that you could see them, but then I realize Father Alexander saw me like this. There is no question that he noticed, as I saw him briefly lower his eyes to my chest. For a third time.

The thought of him seeing my nipples makes my cheeks grow red, and then my mind tracks back to the other night in the library. He was touching my face, getting so close that I thought he was going to kiss me. If Sister Greta hadn’t come back, he would have. And I’m not sure I would have stopped him.

“Your cheeks are growing with embarrassment.” My mother’s tone snaps me back to the present. “As you should feel, prancing around like that.”

“I haven’t been prancing.”

“You will go back to your room and put a bra on.” She stands from the chair and shakes her head. “It is so disappointing that there is no change in you yet.”

With her words piercing me like a knife, she walks out of the office. I bite the inside of my cheek as I watch her leave my vision. My foot begins tapping against the floor anxiously when Father Alexander steps into view. He is looking over his shoulder, watching my mother walk away, and then his eyes find mine.