Page 54 of For I Have Sinned

“Are you okay?”

I give him a flat smile. “Just peachy.”

Getting up from my seat, I round the desk and make my way out the door. I don’t want to go to my room and put a bra on because I don’t want to deal with the pain, but I also don’t want to deal with my mother’s wrath if she finds out I didn’t listen to her.

I go to pass by him to do as I’m told when he makes a point to stand in front of me. Flashbacks of the library flood my head as I stare at how close his body is to mine. When I look at him, his eyes are studying my face carefully.

“You sure?”

“Yes.” I lie.

He slowly nods and lifts his eyes over my head. I’m not sure what he is looking for, but when he is content with what he sees, he brings his attention back to me.

“Let’s meet in the library again tonight.”

“For what?” I ask softly.

So he can finish what he started this time? Why does the thought of that excite me?

“Our nightly prayer.” Oh, right. He literally just reminded me about it before my mother showed up.

I lick my lips on purpose, and he does what I want him to. His eyes fall to my mouth, and the muscle in his jaw ticks.

“Okay,” I agree. “Same time as last night?”

“Yes.”

“Are you going to bring me dinner again?”

“Are you going to skip dinner again?”

I smirk. “If I get caught up in the library, I might.”

“You’ll be at dinner tonight, Celine.” It’s not a statement, but an order.

“Fine.”

Taking a step back, I watch him as his eyes dip to my breasts again. His hand clenches into a fist at his side, as if he were trying to control an urge. Knowing that I have an effect on him, I grin to myself a little before I twirl around and head to my room.

I ended up blocking out Sister Ruth during the lesson, as I usually do, and wrote in the notebook that Sister Alice had given me to take notes in.

I decided to write my own story because I was having withdrawals from not reading. However, I will have to keep this story a secret because what I am writing is pure filth. Esther would probably get a kick out of it.

Maybe I’ll show her someday.

After the lesson, Joanna tries to get me and Esther to spend time with her and Bekah. She has been nicer to Bekah since that blow up in the dining hall.

The two of them are pretending that the small fight never happened. Esther and I decline the invitation, which upsets Joanna. She didn’t have to voice it; you could tell by the irritated look on her face.

“One of these days, she is going to force us to spend time with her,” Esther says as we watch the two women leave.

“How would she force us?”

“I don’t know… probably handcuff us with that necklace she always wears and blindfold us with a sliver of her dress.”

My eyes peel away from the back of Joanna’s head to look at Esther.

“Your imagination is wild. Besides, I don’t think she would risk ruining her dress to blindfold us. The tablecloth in the dining hall, however, I could see her cutting that up.”