Page 57 of For I Have Sinned

“The way they look at each other in the dining hall. I mean, Joanna tries to hide it, but she acts like a girl with a crush.”

“Maybe you read the situation wrong.”

“You mean to tell me I read the situation wrong twice? Tonight wasn’t the first time that I saw the weird connection between them.”

“When was the other time?” he asks.

“I don’t know? A few nights ago, I think.”

He runs a hand across his mouth and starts pacing. His reaction is odd. Not one I was expecting, as I suggested a priest is sleeping with a woman in the convent.

“Do you know something I don’t?”

He stops moving and looks at me. “No.”

His lip twitches, and I gasp. “You’re lying!”

“Celine…” he gives me an authoritative warning.

“Lying is a sin, Father.” I tease. “Tell me what you know.”

“I can’t.” He begins his pacing again.

I throw my head back with a sigh. “Come on, Alex. Tell me.”

At the sound of his name, he stops his pacing and saunters towards me. I take a step back, hitting the small island with built-in shelves in the center of the room.

When he is an inch away from me, he asks, “What did I tell you about my name?”

“To not use it.” I swallow hard, my neck craning to look up at him.

“Then why did you?” His tone harsh, making goosebumps form on my skin.

“It slipped out,” I whisper.

He clenches his teeth, inhaling a deep breath. “If I tell you what I know, you can’t go running your mouth to everyone. Especially not to Esther.”

“If you’re worried about me telling everyone, why even debate about telling me in the first place?”

“Because being the only one that knows is eating me alive.” He has an intense, pressurized tremor in his voice, making it clear that the weight of this secret is suffocating him. That if he doesn’t get it off his chest soon, he is likely to combust.

“Tell me,” I beg.

Father Alexander backs away, combing his hands through his hair.

“The other night, I was… walking around to clear my head when I remembered I needed to grab something from my office. It was about midnight, and I saw that Father Keaton’s office light was on. The man works late, but never that late. I went to knock on his door to see if he was okay, and that’s when I heard moans.”

“Moans?” I don’t know why I ask. I know what he means.

“I thought he was just watching porn.” That word coming out of his mouth makes me giggle. “What’s so funny?”

“Hearing a priest say the word porn.” I lift my hand to my mouth, smothering the sound of my laughter.

“Celine, please.” It’s another warning, this time to let him finish.

I drop my hand and put on a serious face. “Go on.”

“As I said, I thought he was watching porn.” He eyes me, making sure I don’t laugh again, which I don’t. “But then I heard Joanna’s voice and realized what was happening.”