Page 94 of For I Have Sinned

“Gross.” She sticks her tongue out. “I thought he was good-looking for his age, but knowing that he is taking advantage of Joanna? No, thanks.”

“Don’t blame you.”

“So… Father Alexander.” She playfully nudges my shoulder. “He’s not spewing shit to get you to sleep with him, is he?”

“No. I’m far too smart to fall for that. It’s a mutual agreement.”

“Good.” She stares forward. “I won’t tell anyone.”

“I didn’t think you would.”

A comfortable silence passes between us before she speaks up. “When we get out of here, I think you, me, Amelia, and Vince need to go out for bottomless margaritas.”

I chuckle. “Is there such a thing as bottomless margaritas?”

“Probably not.” She intertwines her arm with mine, resting her head on my shoulder. “But we can for sure make them bottomless.”

I smile to myself, resting my head on top of hers. I didn’t think Esther would be the type to show affection like this, but I’m welcoming it. After the day I had, this is much needed.

“Sounds like a plan.”

Chapter 30

Father Alexander

“What do you want to do today?” my mom asks while flipping a pancake at the stove.

“I was thinking of going to see Dad.”

Her back is to me, but at the idea of visiting my dad, her head turns slightly, and I see the corner of her mouth tug upwards. “I think that is a good idea.”

“It’s been too long,” I say with guilt.

“You live across the country, Alex.” She glances over her shoulder. “I’m not mad at you for not coming to visit more. I hope you know that.”

“You sure?” I ask, dropping my eyes to the utensils in front of me. Lifting my finger to the handle of the knife, I begin spinning the metal against the counter. “I feel bad sometimes with how everything panned out after dad passed. I should have visited you more and been there for you before I moved to Cali…”

“Alex, do not keep making yourself feel guilty,” she says softly as she turns around with the plate full of pancakes. “You needed to do what was best for you, and I did what was best for me.”

“By selling the house?” I ask with curiosity because I don’t want her to think I’m still mad at her for selling the family home.

I understand why she did it, but we never actually talked about it. The only time it was brought up was when she told me what she had decided to do.

“Yes. It was what I needed to do to heal. Being in that home without you visiting was hard, but living there without him was unbearable.” She gently sets the plate full of pancakes on the small island.

“When your father died, it was like a part of me had died along with him, and I am sure you felt the same. You and I were both grieving, but in different ways. You were grieving your father, the man who raised you, while I was grieving my soulmate. When you lose your other half. The love of your life…” she trails off, looking choked up. “It’s a pain I don’t wish on anyone. As much as I love your father, living in that house wasn’t good for me. I knew that if I stayed, I wouldn’t be able to heal fully.”

My heart aches at the way her voice cracks. “You know I’m not mad at you, right? For selling the house?”

“I know, sweetie.” Her hand extends over the countertop and rests on mine.

With a soft smile, I ask, “Do you still have all of Dad’s favorite movies?”

“Of course I do.” She grins as her head gestures to the living room behind me. “They are in the TV stand on the bottom shelf.”

I nod in response and use my fork to stab a few pancakes, dropping them on my plate. Picking up the glass bottle of syrup, I drench my food, earning a chuckle from my mom.

“I see some things never change,” she laughs. “Ever since you were little, you would want more syrup on your plate than pancakes.”