Page 10 of Crusher

I need to speak to my girl.

***

I walk into our home half an hour later, my body trembling as my girl rushes my way with wide eyes.

She questions as she takes in my state, and I allow my tears to fall, making her freeze in shock.

“Hayes? What happened? Linc called several times looking for you,” she whispers, and I slowly lick my bottom lip as I look her over.

She’s wearing my hoodie and property patch with a pair of jeans, and she looks beautiful.

What the fuck did I do?

“Linc is my half-brother,” I admit with a croak, and her eyes widen. I explain, “Dad recognized him and put two and two together. Said I wasn’t going to be taking over his role anymore, that Linc is the rightful heir, not giving a shit that he cheated on Mom, his role was the only thing he cared about.”

“Oh my god,” she rasps as she takes a step forward, but she pauses when I admit, “I got drunk at the strip club, and I made out and groped Roxy.”

Chapter 4

Crusher – Age Twenty-Six

I grunt as I hit the punching bag, left, right, left, right, while Knuckles, watches me like a fucking hawk, but I ignore him like I always do.

“You cheated on me?” she asks calmly, too fucking calmly for my liking, and I swallow hard.

“I wasn’t thinking, baby, all I could hear was my dad not loving me, not appreciating me after I worked my whole fucking life to make him proud and I just wanted to feel wanted in that moment, please, I’m so sorry.”

I hit the bag hard, and Knuckles calls, “Careful, brother, don’t make me drag you out of the ring,” but I ignore him even though I know he would do it with it being his gym and all. I kick the bag before doing quick jabs, trying to breathe through them, but all I feel is empty, so fucking empty.

Alexiana shakes her head as she takes a few steps back, and I quickly take two forward and plead, “Don’t, baby, don’t try to run for my mistake, I swear it won’t happen again.”

“You cheated on me!” she screams, full of pain as her tears fall and mine quickly follow.

“I’ll do anything, Alex, fucking anything, but please, don’t give up on me, it was a mistake, I stopped it before she undid my jeans, I stopped…” I choke, and she lets out a sob and quickly covers her mouth with the back of her hand.

“Don’t leave me,” I plead, and she shakes her head and goes to the stairs, and I panic, “Freckles, please, I’ll do anything,” and she spins around and demands, “Leave the club,” and I freeze.

Fuck, I never thought she’d ask that.

“Alex,” I choke, but she shakes her head as she wipes away her tears and says, “she’s always going to be around, and you have b-broken my trust, I-I can’t trust you anymore,” she takes a deep breath to try and control her tears before she demands, “You want to save us then leave the club until you can win my trust back. You’ve just said it yourself, your dad has shoved you aside, not giving a shit, you’ve broken us because of his decisions. So, leave the club until I feel ready to trust you around them, around her.”

“No,” I choke automatically, and her tears fall, and I realize I’ve just broken her even more by making a decision I will spend the rest of my life regretting.

“Brother!” Knuckles warns as I kick the bag repeatedly, the memory suffocating me, and he threatens, “Don’t make me call Kodi,” but again, I ignore him.

The fucker claimed Kodi, who has quit her job at the precinct, meaning she can’t lock me up again to keep me from self-destructing.

They’re getting married, something not many know, and I’m happy for them, I really fucking am, but fuck, I should be living my life with my girl right now. After giving her time to cool down, refusing to allow her to leave after my fuck up, I went to the gym in the basement only to return to find her and half her shit gone.

She claimed her diploma via email, didn’t deliver her valedictorian speech, and disappeared.

Eight years, that is how long it has been since I last saw my girl, and I’ve been drowning ever since, slowly shutting down.

“She’s moved on with her life,” Leena says as she runs her tongue along her top teeth, and I tense as she looks me up and down, her run-down café completely empty like always.

Since Alex left, the woman has been selling her body to keep her shithole of a café open because, of course, my girl was paying her fucking bills without telling me. Right now, I feel fucking dirty with how she is looking at me.

“What do you mean by that? You said that shit last time!” I snap, and she shrugs.