Page 44 of Crusher

“I was hit with a metal tray, but it was my father who hit me with it because I refused to bend to his will,” I admit, and Hayes locks up, “I also stopped calling my mom when I moved because he was still there in the trailer, and I heard him arranging my marriage, or more like selling me, because he didn’t know about you at the time.”

I take a deep breath. “My father, Hayes, who I always tried to never be around, and to always lock myself in my room, who gave my mom dirty money to open that shitty café of hers, has a cannon tattoo with blood dripping,” I confess, and he slowly closes his eyes.

“Fuck, the ambush…” He instantly remembers.

“I think mom told him about us as punishment because I stopped supporting her, while Chief Marshalls thinks it’s because you wouldn’t screw her,” I admit, and he leans back into the couch. I take a deep breath, and I whisper, “My plan for years was to graduate high school and leave home. I had the job here planned out before you and I met, and I guess a small part of me did have one foot out of the door because I didn’t cancel it after we got together, or when we got married. While part of it was because it was drilled in my head to have a backup plan, there was, I guess a small part of me that believed you were going to hurt me.”

And that is one hell of a revelation to breathe through.

“I’m not giving up,” he chokes after a few minutes' silence. “I refuse to lose you again. I physically cannot fucking lose you again, because you are my fucking everything. Until you decide on a date to head back to Hill Crest, because I know you have responsibilities with your job, I won’t be returning. I’ll be staying here until you and our boy are back home where you belong.”

My mouth parts as he stands and walks down the hallway towards Kayden's room and mutters, “Get ready, wife, because I’m done living without you, and god help your father if I ever see the prick.”

Crap, I think the demon has awoken, and no one will be safe in his path.

And why do I find that hot?

Double crap.

Chapter 20

Alexiana

“You hungry?” I ask Kayden, and he shrugs, making me twitch my nose, and I lean against the kitchen counter while he looks over his schoolwork, and worry hits me.

Two days, that's how long it’s been since Hayes said he won’t be returning to Hill Crest until we do. He pissed off his MC and his dad, who have been calling him nonstop, worried he won’t return to the club. His dad has even tried calling me, not that I’ve answered and two days, Kayden still won’t look at me.

I said I’d move back, but I’m second-guessing my decision.

I’ve had time to think, the jackass manipulated me by bringing Kayden into it, using my hurt and motherly instincts against me. I get it, I do, he doesn’t want to lose Kayden, he thinks he wants to try again with me, to try and save our marriage, and yes, I do still love him, but love isn’t always enough.

I fought for him, I fought my demons, my insecurities, my past for him, and he basically threw it in my face. I just don’t know if it is a good idea to move back where my hurt centers, and maybe moving elsewhere would be better, somewhere where there is no pain or heartache, no terror.

I spoke to someone this morning about an apartment outside of Hill Crest.

“Kayden,” I begin, but he cuts me off and asks, “When is daddy coming back?” without looking at me, and I swallow hard again.

When he’s off like this, I feel like he hates me for keeping him here, but after overhearing him the other night, I know it’s out of guilt.

“Soon, he’s just meeting up with the local ambulance service,” I reply softly, though I did tell him not to bother because again I did say I’d move back. I’d meet him in Hill Crest in a few weeks but the man is adamant about staying here until I get my shit in order. He said he can’t sit still otherwise he may break in the women’s correctional facility and kill the woman who hurt our son without caring about getting locked up. Well, as long as I give him conjugal visits which obviously I did not find funny.

Kayden needs him, especially right now, and preferably not locked up, and me, well, I need to sort my scrambled head out.

I rub my forehead. The woman has been given forty years for attempted murder, and her major problem isn’t the divorce she was handed by Toupee. It’s the inmates who will target her because she tried killing a seven-year-old. She’s going to suffer and will most likely not survive the year.

I tilt my head at my sullen-looking son when he doesn’t reply to me, and I swallow the lump forming.

He isn’t happy if his daddy isn’t here, who is his comfort blanket, I guess.

Hayes has been trying to comfort Kayden for the past two nights when he’s woken up from nightmares. He has refused to stay anywhere but here, despite my protests, and normally it works. I’m beginning to think he doesn’t feel safe here anymore.

Maybe he doesn’t feel safe with me?

I open my mouth to try and get him to speak to me, but my phone rings, and I sigh as I grab it from my pocket and answer without looking at the screen, thinking maybe it's Hayes, keeping my eyes on my son.

“Hello?” I answer with a sigh, and my best friend replies, “Well, someone sounds happy.”

I smile automatically.