Page 63 of Tears of Gold

Then I laugh.

She pounds on my chest. “How can you laugh? I’m so embarrassed right now!”

“Come here.” Grunting with effort, I pull her up on my chest. My bones ache, but having her in my arms is worth the pain. She buries her face in my neck. Chuckling again, I kiss the parts of her head I can reach. “I d-didn’t think you were this shy. It’s okay. Vanrey . . . knows you’re my girlfriend.”

“That doesn’t mean I want him witnessing!” She looks up at me with her cheeks burning bright red, and it’s adorable. “But I’m a human. Does he—?” Her apprehension leaks through our touch.

About to laugh it off, I notice tears forming in her eyes. I kiss her gently. “You’re with me. Nothing a-anyone else says . . . matters.”

There’s doubt in her eyes, and I can’t blame her. It’s not like that statement is a hundred percent true since so many barriers lay between us. To publicly acknowledge a relationship with her would spark a political nightmare, and most of all, I can’t risk Anik taking an interest in Ava—or Skye—because of me.

All I can do is hope I can prove it to her and protect her in the future.

Ava’s sexual desire fades as worry leaches through her system and I squeeze her tight against my chest. I’m burning with need, but I won’t press her. Having a lover is different than what I imagined, but this give and take of self is fascinating in its own way.

“Tell me what’s really w-wrong?” I whisper in her ear. “Please? I know it’s not assignments.”

She shakes her head. “It’s too hard to explain.”

“Try me. I’m not too bad with complicated.”

Ava bites her lip, making me want to nibble on it too. “I . . . I shouldn’t be feeling this way.” Harper flows through her thoughts, followed by shame and confusion.

“Because you like Harper?”

She stiffens. “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t.”

I kiss her forehead gently. “I’ve never b-been in a relationship before, so I’m no ex . . . pert. But please tell me how you feel. I won’t judge you for it.”

Blinking up at me, her lips quiver. “How could you not? I love you and Skye so much! How could I even consider looking at someone else?” Her fingers dig into her hem. “But when I’m with him, it feels hard to breathe, and at the same time, it feels safe, like I’ve got a bit of home with me.

“But I’m also so mad at him for kidnapping me and trying to take me away from you guys. But mostly, I’m just, well, confused with myself. What if I’m, like, broken or something because I have two amazing boyfriends, but—” she chews on her lip and looks away. “I like Harper too.”

Swallowing down my initial reaction to deny her words, I take a moment to absorb. “Those sure sound like . . . some c-confusing things to be dealing . . . with.”

She sighs and relaxes, resting her head against my chest, reassuring me I’m walking the right pathway here.

“Can’t you read most of this from me anyway?”

Stroking her hair, I answer as best I can. “I can tell you’re confused, anxious . . . ashamed. I can tell you’re . . . thinking about H-Harper and . . . also Skye. I can f-feel the oxy . . . tocin in you ebbing. I can sense your intention to never . . . betray Skye and me.” I pause, wondering how far I should go, deciding after a moment that honesty is best. “I can even sense there’s something you are w-worried about that you don’t want me . . . knowing.”

She flinches, and I stroke her hair.

“But I can’t read . . . your thoughts. I can’t know the p-pain you’re experiencing.”

“Wow. That’s a lot!” She lifts her head to look at me without being able to hold my gaze. “About the oxytocin . . . sorry. Do you want me to, um, finish you?”

My body screams yes, but I pull her close. “This is more . . . important. Do you want to . . . keep sharing, or can I s-say something?”

She lays her head against my chest, pressing her ear over my heart. “I’m listening.”

“Good. First . . . when you think a-about being . . . broken . . . what reference are you using? Maybe it’s normal on Earth to have one b-boyfriend. But you aren’t on Earth. And the people you like . . . aren’t humans.”

She starts to protest about Harper, but I run my finger across her lips to make her wait, marveling this beautiful woman is mine. “Even if he’s from Earth, you know he’s not fully human, right?”

She stills. “Right. He said he wasn’t born on Earth.”

I file that fact away for later. “Dragons often have multiple . . . partners, even after having a c-child together. Mers tend to live in . . . family packs where anything seems to go . . . though I have to admit t-that’s rumor since we . . . don’t know much about the ocean. There’s even some asexual species.”