Page 64 of Tears of Gold

I cup her cheek. “Are you sure that all h-humans only have one partner?”

She’s quiet for a while, turning over my speech with interest. “Well, no. I guess there’s swingers and people do group sex, and some cultures have more than one wife—actually, there was a lot of that in history. I guess I just never met anyone living with multiple partners.”

I circle the rim of her ear, admiring how small and delicate they are. “So, it’s rare, n-not impossible. Second point . . . you are unusual, even . . . for a human.”

She sits up to look at me, her brows twitching together. “Why do you say that?”

“Well, I think the Davinas chasing you and . . . trying to use you as bait is k-kind of the golden . . . key.” I wink at her.

Ava snorts.

I smile, though my teeth are clenching with pain. Maybe I am overdoing things by being out of bed. “But your human self seems . . . different. Skye smells it, and I can s-sense it too.”

“In what way?” she asks, her eyes alight with curiosity. Then she wilts. “Sesun said I probably have a discordant soul.”

I shake my head. “It doesn’t seems like a-anything faulty to me. More like you’re bigger and have more potential.” I really don’t want to tell her about being a vessel for a kitsune right now. I’ll cross that bridge another day—if ever. “Isn’t that enough to . . . suggest you might have a b-bigger heart than most?”

She ducks her head. “You’re being very generous with me.”

“I’m supposed to be. You’re my girlfriend,” I say with a grin. “But that doesn’t mean my judgment is clouded.”

She traces a line on my shirt with her fingertip. Even through the fabric, her touch sends happy fizzes through my body, but when she shifts and accidentally bumps my scar tissue, I wince, and she catches me. She slides to the ground. Sitting with her back to me, I can’t see her face as she asks her next question.

“Are you disappointed with me?”

I sigh. “No, but I am c-confused, just like you are.” She deflates a bit, so I push on quickly. “I’m not confused about y-your feelings. I think . . . they’re natural.” I cover my eyes with one hand, shutting out the overbright light. “I’m confused about how I f-feel about Harper. I thought I . . . couldn’t stand him, but he saved my life. I think I like having him around—around you, and . . . around me.”

I clench my fist against my heart as I think back. “And I got mad and u-upset when he said he wanted to leave. I forbade him . . . from leaving.”

“I can’t believe he tried to leave!” she mutters, then sighs. “I bet that didn’t go over well. He said Skye bit him and dragged him back here.”

I snort. That’s an understatement. “It didn’t go over w-well.” Even if the rogue’s pissed, I know he’s safe at the academy. Not only did I not want him to leave, but I couldn’t risk Royal Guards picking him up now imperial vigilance has increased since the New Year’s attack.

A double worry line creases Ava’s brow and my heart twists. I drop a hand onto her shoulder, wishing I could smooth away her worries. Could I ever accept Harper having sex with my girl? Could I trust him not to steal her away from me?

I’m not sure I have the right to stop him, since Ava likes him and the bastard saved my life, and yet I can’t help the grating resistance the idea brings.

But right now, I need Ava to be able to relax. “We’ve both b-been fighting with the rogue. How about we try . . . and make that right, and then we’ll see about the r-rest?”

She nods. After a long pause, she says, “Um, Erritt? About that thing you sensed I’m keeping from you—”

I squeeze her shoulder. “You’re allowed to have your . . . privacy, Ava. Don’t worry a-about it.” My curiosity isn’t worth her feeling invaded.

She shakes her head. “Actually, it’s kind of bothering me, and I think it’s related. I just—I don’t want to make things worse. And I don’t want you to hate me.”

Qi Lords, she’s so sweet and vulnerable; I want to shield her from everything, especially since I know she has every right to be wary of me after all the times I’ve spoken roughly to her in the past. “Okay. I promise to n-never ever hate you, and you tell me . . . anything you want to. Deal?”

She lifts her hand to mine in silent agreement. Still, her body stays tense under my fingertips. A deep breath pulses through her. “You know how I lost my memories, and Skye said it was specific to him, you, and Harper?”

“Yes?”

She traces a line through the carpet with her finger. “Well, you three are the people I care about the most and who have a secret to protect.”

I hum in agreement. “True. And you w-were very brave. I’m sorry you had to go through . . . that at all.”

She leans her head on the couch, near my hip. “The problem is—” She sighs again, and my curiosity doubles. “There’s something, no, someone, that I can’t remember. I’m having headaches—just like I did when I tried to remember you. Everything else is clear except my time in the Davina prison.”

“So, what exactly is b-bothering you?”