Page 32 of Anywhere

“Fuck, Mari. Naw, I dinnie wanna do dat to Rook or me third or ya.” He crossed his arms over his chest like he was trying to hug himself.

I badly wanted to offer him the comfort he needed. To reach out and touch him and be folded up in his arms as he took the strength I offered, but I stayed put and kept my hands to myself. My own emotions were as volatile as his. I didn’t trust what would happen.

“Can I be blunt?” I asked.

“Aye, always.”

“You know how I feel, yes?”

His eyes found mine and reflected what was in my own heart. “Aye.”

“Then you know that what I’m going to say right now is not easy for me, and I don’t say it lightly.” I licked my lips and took a deep breath. “I don’t want you to run off with me. I never did. I know what I offered a year ago, but I was having a hard time at school, was sent on a few difficult missions, my ma was dying and you’ve always been the one who makes me feel better. I wanted to get away from it all, and it was a terrible thing for me to ask of you.” Turning my head, I looked out the window to the dark water as it slowly rolled onto shore. “Not only that but—I can’t believe I’m saying this—I really like Rook. He’s an ignorant ass, but he has potential,” I said, and we smirked. “More than that, I think the spirits got it right. You two are made for one another.”

“Mari…”

I held up my hand. “No, you need to listen to me. I understand that you’re unsure about what the future will hold with the new power dynamic—you’ve always seen your union one way—but that doesn’t mean that everything you’ve been working for will be destroyed. Rook strikes me as smart and a good person under the jerkish exterior.”

Rhys snorted, and his eyes lit up a little.

“I also know how he crushed you when he rejected you. As hard as you’ve tried to hide how much it hurt, I can see it in your eyes.”

“Aye, ya always could see me better than anyone else.”

“The pain he caused has scared you. You are scared to open up to him now, and don’t even bother trying to deny it. It’s also making you hesitant about all the other unknowns left to come. But none of that matters anymore, not really. He’s here now. He wants to try now. Not only that, but the Faction needs you. Your family needs you. You and I both know that your uncle is not cut out to lead, and Ronan is…well, Ronan.”

Rhys smirked.

“Besides, if you really do love me, for no other reason, I need you to get in as a respected council head of the Faction so that you can do what you always said you would and change the laws.”

“I do want ta do dat,” he said, and he looked up from the floor and straightened his spine. I could feel his resolve returning as the fear began to ebb away.

“I’m also confident the magic ties that are drawing the two of you together now will turn into the real thing. Rhys, you have the opportunity to fall in love with him if you give the two of you a chance. Trust me. He is squirming like a worm on the end of a line for you.”

He moved his hand over his chest. “It be so much. I canna even explain it.”

“I think the reason why the books don’t explain it well is that no one can put into words or they don’t want to freak out everyone with how it consumes you.”

He turned so he could look me in the eyes, and it took all my strength to keep my face neutral and my eyes focused on his face. It was way too easy to tumble down the rabbit hole of fantasies otherwise.

“Da guilt is overwhelmin’, Mari. I’ma feelin’ like I led ya on all dis time, knowin’ dat we could never be. I can feel da emotion seepin’ in for Rook, and den I feel guilty dat I’m hurtin’ him and da triad by lovin’ you.”

I bit my lip hard. That was the first time Rhys said he loved me out loud, even though we’d both felt the same way for years. I could feel my throat wanting to close up and choke me. He didn’t seem to notice that he said it, and I quickly spoke before it became awkward.

“You have nothing to feel guilty about, but this can’t happen anymore. You will always be my best friend, but it’s not fair to anyone for you to come to my room like this. It’s not fair to you, me, or your new triad. It leaves too many doors open, and I’m one you need to close.”

His eyes filled with pain. “I know. I just…”

“I know,” I said, cutting him off. I couldn’t hear him say the words. “I love that you’d even consider running away for us to be together, but it is always the coward’s way. You, Rhys McGregor, are no coward.” We fell silent, and I stared out the window at the sky that, for once, wasn’t overcast. “How is Rook?”

“Shook, but otherwise fine. I made sure he was asleep before I left him to go change.”

A smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. That was the Rhys I knew. The man didn’t even realize his own depth of caring.

“I dinnie understand why Angus has kept so much from ‘im. He be as shocked as a newborn babe takin’ its first breath, an’ I dinnie think dat be fair ta ‘im,” Rhys said, his voice holding a hint of anger. He didn’t recognize how much he’d already started to feel for Rook, and I wasn’t going to point it out. That was something they needed to explore on their own.

“No, it’s not fair. Do you want me to train him?” I offered.

“Yer sure?” Rhys asked as he pushed away from the wall and came to stand in front of me.