Page 42 of Burn Me Down

“Your mommy is right if you don’t do it properly, and that’s why you never do it when there isn’t a grownup to help you.” She put her hand on my shoulder. “But I know all the secret ways to keep you safe. Do you want me to show you?” I nodded, my hair bobbing with me. “Bring that chair over.”

I ran off to grab a chair and dragged it back, the feet scraping along the floor, but Grandma never got mad like Mom did when I did the same thing at home.

“Perfect, now all you’re going to do is put the back of the chair up against the counter.” I pushed it against the counter, and Grandma turned it to show me exactly what she meant. “Good, now be very careful and stand on the chair.”

This felt like I was doing something naughty, and I liked it. I never did anything bad, but how bad could this be when my Grandma told me to? Leaning on the chair, I scrambled onto the seat and hung onto the wooden back as I got my feet underneath me. Grandma had her hands around me and helped steady me. Everything looked so small. Did I look this small to anyone who looked at me?

Grandma had just turned on the water when there was a loud shriek from the doorway. I whipped my head around to see my mother standing there with an angry scowl.

“What the hell is happening? I told you she’s not allowed to do anything dangerous,” my mommy said as she marched toward me. I began to cry and latched onto my grandma.

“Anna, stop it. You’re scaring her,” Grandma said as I clung to her and cried. I didn’t want to go with Mommy. She never let me do anything fun and was always yelling.

“Don’t you tell me how to raise my daughter,” Mommy yelled, and I cried harder.

“What has gotten into you, Bix? You were never like this before,” Grandma said as my mommy grabbed me.

“Not this again. I told you I’m happy. You need to stay out of my relationship,” Mommy snarled like an animal, and I clung to my Grandma harder. “Or maybe you’d prefer not to see us ever again.”

I sucked in a sharp breath coming out of the memory I had long forgotten until this moment. My eyes searched Derek’s face, who looked as shocked as I felt.

“Tell me you didn’t hurt my grandmother,” I said again and stepped back from him as a cold sweat covered my body.

“You’re Dora’s granddaughter?”

“Yes, now where is she?”

He slowly shook his head, and I knew she was no longer alive. I covered my mouth as tears steadily streamed down my face. I couldn’t be with someone who had hurt her. I just couldn’t.

“What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything,” he said, taking a step toward me, but I needed a moment and held up my hand to ward him off. “Beck, I swear to you, I didn’t hurt her. Think about it. Why would I hurt a sweet old woman? She treated me with kindness. She treated me like a son.”

I choked back a sob. “Then where is she? If she passed away, why didn’t my parents get a death notice or a lawyer’s call?” Did my mother hate my grandmother so much that she wouldn’t tell anyone when she passed away? That we wouldn’t attend her funeral? I was shaking as fear and guilt wrapped around me until it felt like I was choking.

“This is going to sound really bad, I realize that, but it’s because she is buried here on the property,” Derek said, and I bent over with my hands on my knees as I tried to slow my racing pulse and tears as my heart broke. Derek suddenly grabbed me and tried to pull me into a hug. “Beck, please. I’m so sorry.”

“Did you know? Did you know about her connection to me?”

He shook his head, then nodded before sighing. “I knew of you but not who you were. Please believe me. I can prove it. Everything is in the house.” Derek’s eyes were wide. “I loved Dora. She was amazing, and I was lucky to know her, even for a short time.”

I wiped away my tears and let Derek pull me into his arms. I wished so many times that I forced my mother to tell me where my Grandma lived, but all she ever said to me after we left here from our last visit was that Grandma was dead to her. Why hadn’t I looked for her myself? Why had I waited when I wanted to reach out so many times? Now I’d never get the chance to reconnect or tell her that I loved her.

“It explains your eyes,” he said, but I didn’t know what he meant. I searched his face. “You have the exact same color eyes as Dora, and you shine with the same light she did.”

“What about my grandpa?”

Derek shook his head. “I never met him. He’d died years ago.”

The tears were threatening to take over again. “I need to know, Derek. I need to know everything right now.”

His eyes were filled with tears as he looked down at me. “Come to the house, and I’ll tell you what happened.”

I looked around at the garden and converted shed I’d been staying in and, finally, the old sundial. I could see my grandma in her blue dress with little flowers all over it. She had her hair piled up on her head, and a wide smile on her face. From one blink to the next, I’d gone from feeling the happiest I’d ever been to having my world crumble under my feet.

Derek

“Dora. My grandmother. This is her home. Where is she?” Beck’s eyes filled with tears. “Please don’t tell me you hurt her?” She covered her mouth and choked back a sob.