Page 37 of Intolerable Bishop

I could picture that smug look on his face and hear it through the tone of the simple message.

R: Funny, I’m pretty sure it was you texting me last time.

NASHOLE: Yeah, but you responded.

If I could, I would’ve reached through the phone and choked him.

R: Why did you tell them to search my house?

NASHOLE: Huh?

R: Don’t play dumb with me. I know you told them to search my house for you.

NASHOLE: I’m assuming you’re talking about Theo, Blake, and Myles?

R: Who else would I be talking about? I know it was you. They don’t do anything without your approval.

NASHOLE: I’m sensing that you’re pissed.

R: You think?

NASHOLE: I didn’t tell them to search your house, Princess. But I’m not going to deny that I’m happy they did, and I’m looking forward to hearing all about it when you all get back. Because whatever they found about you. They will tell me.

R: Like you don’t already know.

NASHOLE: Sigh…no, I don’t, but obviously, you don’t like what they found, or you wouldn’t be texting me at 1:30 in the morning. As entertaining as bitching me out is for you, I’m sure that it wasn’t high on your priority list, so why don’t you ask me what you really want to know.

I laid my head against the wall and closed my eyes.

NASHOLE: Come on, Princess. Tell me what’s wrong.

R: I want to go back in time. I want to ask questions that I can’t ask of the people I want to, and I want to wake up from all the insanity. Most of all, I want to remember what it was like to have happiness without all the other stuff picking at me like a vulture with a dead carcass.

NASHOLE: Don’t we all. The problem is, Princess, that happiness is nothing more than an illusion.

R: That is very pessimistic of you.

NASHOLE: No, it’s reality. Princess, happiness is like water. No matter what, it disappears. It’s drunk, evaporates, and seeps through the cracks, but there is always something that will make it disappear. The world is constantly moving forward, whether we like it or not. Trying to be happy all the time is a pipedream and unrealistic.

R: So, what? You live angry and unhappy all the time?

NASHOLE: No, I strive for peace, Princess. Peace of mind, peace in my soul, peace in my home. Now, that is obtainable.

Nash, the bully and flirt, was one thing. Even him being the protective type I could see, but the introspective one…I didn’t know what to do with that.

NASHOLE: Would it make you feel any better if I asked you to send me naked photos again? I have a few positions I’d really love to have. They would definitely keep me busy and help me sleep.

I shook my head, but I smiled nonetheless.

R: To go along with the sleeping pic you have already? I still can’t believe you did that. If Vicky found out she would lose her mind forever. I might as well move to another country.

NASHOLE: Fuck, don’t mention her.

R: Realizing the error of dating her?

NASHOLE: Let’s just say I got a very visual reminder of what she really wants.

I didn’t want to know what that meant. Anything with Vicky and a visual was nothing I wanted to know about, and yet, my curiosity was piqued.