Page 51 of We Shouldn’t Do This Again

I finger her while using the vibrator at the same time, watching her completely fall apart beneath me. Her breasts rise and fall with every ragged breath. Her thighs tremble violently. I’m kneeling between her legs, watching her, memorizing every expression, every moan slipping from her lips.

“Tell me you still love me, Lidia…” I demand without stopping.

“I love you…” she gasps, tears filling her eyes. “I love you, damn it… I’ve always loved you, even after our marriage went to shit and we ended up divorced.”

That cracks something open inside me. I throw myself over her, kissing her while I keep thrusting my fingers into her and holding the vibrator against her clit. Lidia comes again, moaning into my mouth, squeezing my fingers so hard it almost hurts. When she finishes, I set the vibrator aside and move into a scissoring position with her again. Our bodies fit together perfectly, and I start moving against her, slow and deep, feeling everything with overwhelming intensity.

“Like this… just like always,” I whisper against her lips.

Lidia grips my hips and matches my rhythm. Our eyes stay locked on each other. There’s no fear anymore. Just us. Sweat slides down my back. Her nails scratch at my thighs. The pleasure rises again, deeper now, stronger.

“I want to come with you,” she says, almost pleading.

We move faster. Our clits rub together relentlessly, swollen and slick. The wet sound of our bodies colliding fills the room. We moan uncontrollably. I pinch her nipples; she scratches my back. And then it hits. The strongest orgasm of all tears through us both at the same time. I scream her name. She screams mine. Our bodies convulse as we come for what feels like endless minutes, trembling and clinging to each other without ever stopping our movements.

When we finally calm down, I collapse on top of her, exhausted, sweaty, happier than I’ve ever been. Our hearts race together in the same frantic rhythm. Lidia wraps her arms tightly around me, burying her face against my neck. I feel her warm tears against my skin.

“I don’t want this to ever end,” she whispers, overwhelmed with emotion.

“It won’t end,” I reply, kissing her hair tenderly. “Not this time. I promise.”

Her fingers trace gentle caresses down my back. I kiss her eyelids, her cheeks, the corners of her lips.

“I’ve missed you so much…” I confess softly, my heart still pounding, “…that I don’t know how I survived all these years without you.”

“You do know,” a little voice in my head reminds me.

We stay like that, tangled together, breathing the same air. Outside, the world keeps turning at its endless pace. Inside, ours is wilder, more ours. And I know, with every beat of my heart, that this is what we’ve always been. Two women who love each other completely: with rage, with tenderness, with fire. Two women who have finally stopped pretending.

CHAPTER 26

JUST LIKE BEFORE

Lidia

I’m lying on my side on the rumpled sheets, my body still warm and pressed against Barbara’s. Our skin brushes with every breath, naked, without a single barrier between us. The cool night breeze drifts in through the open windows and slowly caresses my back—a timid caress considering the storm we’ve just unleashed together. Outside, the sea whispers against the sand, a constant, soft murmur that seems to keep time with my heartbeat. Inside, only this sweet silence remains, the same one that wrapped around us years ago when it was enough just to lie like this, breathing close to each other.

I feel the light weight of her leg over mine, the warmth of her stomach against my hip. It all feels so natural that a shiver runs through me from head to toe. Everything feels just like before, as if time had stood still, as if the years of distance and pain had evaporated the moment we touched again. My hand rests on her waist, my fingers tracing lazy circles over her soft skin. She’s here, she’s real, mine again. And I… I know that no matter how hard I tried to fight it, Barbara is still under my skin. Yes, Alex was the calmer option, that quiet, peaceful harbor. But now I realize that what always kept me from fully giving myself to her was exactly that—that calm isn’t what my body and soul truly crave. It’s this chaotic storm, this passion that only Barbara knows how to awaken in me.

The ceiling fan spins slowly, stirring the air still heavy with our scent. The light from the wicker lamps is dim and golden, casting soft shadows across her curves. I study her profile in the half-light, and my heart tightens in a way I can’t explain. It’s as if the whole world has shrunk down to this bungalow in Ukulhas, to the two of us tangled together in bed while the night wraps around us.

After everything that just happened, my emotions weigh on me more than ever. My chest rises and falls, full of satisfaction, but also of all those memories I can’t seem to let go of. It’s been months—years—pretending I could live without this, without her. And now, with her skin still marked by my nails and my taste lingering on her lips, I realize how empty my life has been without this connection. I feel an immense, almost painful tenderness when I think of all the nights I cried myself to sleep over what we lost. But there’s relief too, flooding through me. Because here we are, after so much pain, and she’s still the one who makes me feel whole.

Barbara breaks the silence first. Her fingers slide through my hair so slowly that it sends a shiver down my spine. The silkiness of my hair seems to fascinate her, because she tangles her fingers in it and lets it fall again with a smile I can sense more than see.

“I hope Miriam and your father aren’t looking for us,” she murmurs in that hoarse voice still marked by the moans from earlier. Her tone is light, but I can tell she’s trying to hide the same overwhelming emotion I’m feeling.

I can’t help letting out a soft, almost childish laugh as I lift my eyes to hers. They shine in the dim light, full of that mischievous spark I’ve missed so much. I prop myself up slightly on one elbow to look at her better, and the brush of my chest against hers sends a tingle straight to my stomach.

“Let them search all they want,” I reply, my voice sounding far more confident than I actually feel. “I’m not leaving this room all night. Not even if the resort manager himself comes knocking. After this… I don’t want anything interrupting us.”

Barbara smiles in that way that creates little lines at the corners of her eyes. Her hand leaves my hair and slides to my cheek. She strokes me slowly with her thumb while biting her lower lip in that way that has always hypnotized me. It’s such a uniquely hers gesture, so full of meaning, that the heat flares inside me again like a fire that never really went out.

“Not even to eat something?” she asks playfully, her eyes fixed on me with an intensity that makes me swallow hard.

“I have everything I want to devour right in front of me,” I reply, letting my gaze drift slowly over her body, from the curve of her neck to the place where our legs are tangled together. “Besides, if we really get hungry, we can always order room service. But right now… right now I only want this. You. Like this.”

She leans closer and kisses me. It’s slow and deep, without the urgency from before, but just as intense. Her lips linger against mine as if she wants to memorize every detail, and I surrender to her completely. When she finally pulls back slightly, her warm breath brushes my mouth.